u/Apart_Candidate4428

(My goal here isn't to inspire gender war slop lol)

I remember when I was in HS, my younger sister was very much the typical '2010s tumblr feminist'. I don't say that totally pejoratively, she was very intelligent and well-spoken in her beliefs. But like many newly-woke teenagers, she ended up frequently going toe-to-toe with my conservative father on many issues. But they weren't just abstract issues, she could be very critical of him personally. A lot of it came down to a common feminist critique at the time, that men get coddled by society and grow up to be inconsiderate of others. And in the case of my father, I could see that in some ways - he had a way of dominating conversations, not asking many questions, interrupting others, and also just a general assumption that he would get his way - from what movie we were watching to what restaurant we'd go to. Maybe topics worth bringing up in a respectful manner, but the combination of regular teenage attitude and a certain internet self-righteousness led to some pretty big blowouts.

Anyways, I always watched these from a distance and it honestly made me reflect on my own masculinity in some ways and examine the ways I "take up space". Cut to many years later, and our younger brother is high school. The feminist sister loves this brother, says he reminds her so much of herself, thinks he's so cute, etc. However, the interesting thing to me was that this brother exhibited so much of our father's traits. He only talked about himself, noticeably zoned out/interrupted when others talked, and was also very presumptuous, bordering on pushy, when it came to getting his way. However, the main difference is that my younger brother has a significantly more effeminate demeanor. His manner of speak and general demeanor didn't really utilize any traditionally masculine signifiers, which I think made his behavior more palatable to my sister.

Not trying to take one personal anecdote and blow it up to a society-level-thesis, but it does seem that so much of interpersonal gender critique - both from men and women - is "rooted" in more material analysis of behavior, but really comes down to all these behavioral signs and signifiers.

Dasha you have the chance to do the funniest thing

Reflections On: The Arguments between my Teenage Sister and Father

Been obsessed with “early” photography lately (1890s - 1930s)

I’m hammered at Target