Hi all
Ive been going through it for a while. The summary is my bipolar partner wants to leave me. We have been in couples therapy and I have improved a lot but my partner refuses to do the exercises.
She is medicated and in therapy, and had a hospitalized manic episode April 2023. She was stable for a while and we got a house and planned a wedding, but was erratic in August 2025 when we were on vacation, she wasn't sleeping and had really decreased on Seroquel. She started hanging out with a new person in August too that is also bipolar and was in a manic episode for a few months. My SO said her therapist said she had a limerent obsession with this person. The friend is really shitty and nobody likes them but anything I said about this person made me the enemy.
My SO went into a deep depressive episode from September through January. During this time she was self harming, suicidal ideation, hanging out with all new people, extremely nasty to me. In September she changed medication started welbutrin, new psychiatrist, new therapist. She got a tattoo that is similar to the Limerent obsession, started going to same hair stylist and got the same haircut. In December she tried to break up with me and put me through a rollercoaster but then stayed. The day she left for a few days to take a breather she got her ears pierced and the next day almost attempted suicide. I found out that at the same time she was considering apartments where her Limerent obsession was getting an apartment. And planning on just leaving. She also started smoking socially to quote "look cool in front of her new friends". We are 29 years old.
In January we were working through things and her psychiatrist was suspecting she was going into a mixed state , and I felt that way but didn't say much because when I mention anything bipolar related I become the enemy. Her medication got increased. She was randomly falling onto the floor before this and breathing heavy and also not sleeping much. Also before the med increase I found bags packed then unpacked a day later
She's been acting weird for a couple weeks and started hanging out and talking more with the Limerent obsession. She has been doomsrollimg endlessly on Instagram liking posts from all these new friends I am not allowed to meet. We have been going to couples therapy but she hasn't been putting much effort. She isn't really trying. I worked on all the things that was upsetting her but now she says she doesn't want to be with me. This is after on the weekend we had dates and cuddled watching movies, then Sunday she woke up with a dead look in the eyes which tipped me off. Sunday she was upstairs drinking prosecco blasting music, deleted all photos of our 13 year relationship off Instagram, changed profile pic, stopped sharing location with me, and packed 3 weeks worth of clothes to leave. I opened it this morning and found all the clothes still wet after doing laundry. She didn't even let them dry. We have talked about all of this but I am scared whether I should go to her psychiatrist. She keeps saying her therapist and psychiatrist say she's stable but the actions do not show that. She also keeps looking at me out of the corner of her eyes when I am around. She also fell to the floor last night like in January and slept the last couple nights but hasn't been sleeping as much and had two nights in a row taking meds super late. Now she said she isn't romantically in love with me anymore. We have always been head over heels in love so hard that I have always wanted to put in the effort to work on things and take care of my love. When she saw how that hurt me she said I do love you I do love you.
I don't even know what to do anymore.