Advice needed
Hello, I am looking for a bit of advice or guidance. My child is 8 and although we do not have a formal diagnosis (we cannot afford to go private) us and the school both suspect he has ADHD. We have been aware of this since nursery age (nursery approached us and we agreed) and as a result us, his siblings and the school have all made adjustments for him, we all want the best for him. We have a decent support network and are very fortunate. Although we have fell out with some family member over the years about him.🙈
He's a great little boy and behaviour is not too extreme so we are luck in that sense. The biggest problem we have at the moment actually comes from us as parents. Which is were i need the advice.
He masks alot at school and as soon as he comes home we often get emotional out bursts/intense emotions. He needs alot of input after school which we try our best with but having 3 other kids in the house all with clubs etc after school its always busy. Also he constantly talks, sings, makes some mad crazy noises and can be quite repetitive with words or sayings. Now i know this is all just part of emotional regulation once he's home but sometimes after a busy day at work or even during a longer car journey I find myself getting completely over stimulated and over whelmed with it. I hate myself for saying this but the persistent noises and having to contain his emotions (along with all the other things life throws at you) its sometimes exhausting and i snap at him even though I know he can't help it and I don't want to be that parent. Im not the only one who gets like this with him and I hate the fact he gets moaned at so much, I want to support him and make sure I'm giving him what he needs but some nights I go to bed absolutely broken and exhausted. Then i feel guilty as I know it must be soul destroying for him to mask all day, finally feel safe to be himself then he gets negative comments about him being himself. At times I genuinely dont think he even realises hes doing these things. bed time is a nightmarr where he refuses to calm down and we end up in battles then he ends up emotional and clingy then needs me to stay with him to go to sleep. Because he is quite intense at times both of us as parents and his siblings end up snapping and arguing with him and each other too.
I suppose I am just looking for any advice that other parents can give on how to manage things so your whole house doesn't end up loud crazy, over stimulated and acting crazy. What can i do that helps my little boys but also keeps us from total exhaustion and conflict 😩