r/ADHDparenting

My 8th grade daughter was diagnosed with moderate inattentive ADHD in second grade. The neuropsychological evaluation showed an extremely high IQ, average working memory and very low attention/inhibition/executive functioning. She really struggles in math, science and multi step projects.

I requested an IEP evaluation and they rejected it because she scored higher than ten percentile on her standardized math and reading tests. I asked for an 504 and they gave her preferential seating and more time on tests and assignments. The preferential seating might help a little bit but she doesn’t need extra time on assignments or tests. She needs help with: making sure she understands directions and what is assigned, making sure she turns in completed assignment, and helping her understand science (it just doesn’t stick). For example, she is failing all science tests even with open notes. She is only passing because teacher allows test corrections for class but I am guessing that will disappear in high school. I asked for all these accommodations and the teachers all said they don’t have any concerns, except math teacher said she benefits from one on one help. It seems like such a disconnect. Any suggestions? What has worked for you?

I feel so low. I've been trying so hard to give my 6 year old son access to social opportunities. He had a speech delay and stutter and multiple episodes of pneumonia before his ADHD diagnosis last year so he's behind socially. so had a playdate arranged for this afternoon. Then I got a phone call from the principals office that he punched a girl in the chin. He eventually said he wanted to play with them but they were running away and called him names. I brought him home and put him in his room for a bit them when we talked he said "I want to kill my brain" over and over. He feels like his "brain" tells him to do things that are mean. He's on 10mg xr ritalin and I was wondering if it's enough, he got changed to long acting a couple of months ago. How do we help them with this? He wants to be good

Hi all,

I really want to provide more visibility and structure for my adhd son (6). That is also quite easy to maintain for me (also adhd). I see so many options online and I just don't know what's a good choice.

Im leaning towards a magnetic white board and I want it to be quite large and that it comes with tons of magnets.

Any advice or suggestions? What has worked for you?

I have a 2 year old and at this point I don’t know what to think or believe. Theres so many videos out there and it makes it seem like everything is a sign so something else.
She did have some speech delay.

My 8.5 year old son was diagnosed at age 5 with ADHD. Since then, we have tried every single stimulant medication available. All of these with negative side effects leading to irritability and aggression. This has been over a 3 year process. Some we tried for nearly a year and others only a few days because the side effects were scary (suicidal ideation). We have also been on several non stimulants. He's been on guanfacine for several years. Unfortunately, due to blood pressure concerns we can't increase the dose.

With his psychiatrist, we decided to stop simulants and have started an antidepressant (Sertraline) to address anxiety and possible ocd. Since being off the simulants he is much more reasonable and less angry. Everyone has noticed this. However, he is so impulsive and inattentive.

School is so hard for my son. He is finishing up second grade and struggling behaviorally, socially, and academically. He just received an IEP but I know that his behavior is having a huge impact on him across the board.

He is in weekly play therapy outside of school and we're planning on doing a social skills group over the summer.

I just feel so defeated. Any suggestions on medication or other supports to put in place? We've done OT in the past but he barely met criteria. He will be doing another full neuropsychological evaluation in July. It's just so devastating to see a second grader hate school so much and be struggling like this.

As the title says Vanderbilt diagnosis. Do recommend medication. His mother and I have held out him being so young.

I also have ADHD and was raised by a very stubborn father that refused to get me medicated for it. I struggled in school and had my issues to overcome. I will say I can function pretty well as an adult with ADHD but there are times I consider getting medicated myself.

For the ones that had ADHD in elementary school and did get medicated what was the experience like? I eventually got prescribed Adderall senior year in high school and stopped taking it because I wanted to join the Army. There was a noticeable difference in my ability to focus and take notes.

I'm worried about my boy. This year he has had a lot of situations where he is disruptive and despite my best efforts to parent and teach him to be calm. He usually will have some kind of issue that is usually linked to is ADHD imo. When I talk to him after class he often mentions its "loud" or "everyone was talking/touching me" and I want to be a good father.

When I have to parent him on issues he seems to retain the knowledge. For example, talking back to his teacher. I pick up and she explains an issue of him talking back to his teacher. While she is explaining this he starts talking back. I tell him to be "quiet" and listen to his teacher. We walk to the car and he got upset. Thats no problem. On the drive home I explain why he needs to listen to adults and especially his teacher. That school is important. And guess what? Aside from a minor issue here or there he has made a big change! I am proud of him.

But something will happen with over stimulation or him not focusing during a test. He often get frustrated and refuses to do the work. Says he "doesn't know" despite us practicing and him showing he can write most of his spelling words unassisted.

I'm imagining me as a kid. Sitting in that darn desk and looking at a problem and wanting to do it. But something preventing me from doing so. I'm imagining him squirming and spending his energy trying to remain still as opposed to focusing on the lesson.

On one hand I want to teach my boy discipline and respect for not only adults but his classmates around him. But I don't want to keep having these talks with him if medication is a viable option to help him through his day to day.

Any advice is appreciated and a big thank you to this community for existing and a bonus thank you from a concerned ADHD father.

We've found what works for my 13yo dx daughter. But helping her be consistent is the struggle.

Pattern is simple... Minimum 20oz water, 1 dose of electrolytes daily. 2 cups of some caffeine. Also a Homeopathic nervous system support remedy at each meal (it is making such a difference with her possible PDA)

But, if I forget to remind her or she gets too busy, life goes haywire for her. Esp if she forgets one for multiple days. We are homeschooling and low demand, so I'm really not sure how to help her figure out a pattern. The consequences of her not remembering are impacting everyone else here.

edit to say... any suggestions?

We just had the end-of-the-year IEP meeting for my AuDHD (grade 3) son.

His lovely teacher mentioned that he struggles with perfectionism with his writing which causes him to complete class assignments very slowly.

The school team suggested allowing more use of a chromebook next year, so that he can complete assignments on a computer rather than by hand.

While I appreciate the proposed accommodation, and can see how this would accomplish the goal of making assignment completion 'easier'... I also worry that having him default to more screen use in the classroom does actually address the issue of his handwriting perfectionism.

Admittedly I am also generally wary of screen use in classrooms/life.. and I wonder if perhaps this is just my screen bias talking.

I would love to hear your thoughts. Is there an angle here that I am not considering? What sort of accommodations would you be advocating for in this situation

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To add:: His school has been wonderful, and I have nothing but gratitude for how they've treated and accommodated my son over the years. I have no doubt that if I suggest an alternative accommodation, they will be supportive. I just don't know what that 'alternative' might be!

Hello Parents! 

My 6 1/2 year old daughter is now on her 4th stimulant for ADHD. Unfortunately, it’s not working either. Her developmental pediatrician recommended a non-stimulant next. Has anyone had any luck with that switch? I’m a bit weary so am interested in bearing side effects too.

Trial and error is not fun 😞

Thanks in advance! 

Our son (6M) has a genetic syndrome that causes behavior issues including ADHD and autism symptoms. He is incredibly talkative (never stops), reactionary and emotional when things don’t go his way, can be fixated on playing only a certain way, and is not very coordinated/athletic. When people don’t want to pay attention to him, he touches/pulls on them or talks in their face. He desperately wants to play with other kids at recess and at aftercare, and does not realize that kids are making fun of him and do not want to be his friend. We have seen and heard kids in his grade and older call him “Mr. Annoying” or the weirdest kid here.” He struggles to integrate into other kids games (soccer, etc). He tries to bring small toys to aftercare that he thinks the others will like, and he brought home a toy “gift” that another boy brought him — an Elmo figurine that the boy said was for our son because he’s a baby. My son insists that this is his friend and thinks he is being kind. It’s breaking my heart.

I recognize that my son’s behaviors make it hard for him to maintain friendships. He cannot read social cues, doesn’t know when to quit. We are trying to guide his behavior, provide examples of how to better interact. It works ok for play dates/ activities where we can supervise. But at school he is clearly getting a reputation that we worry will not be reversible soon.

We have our first doc appt to discuss specific ADHD treatment next week. In the meantime, any tips on helping him gently understand when people aren’t being kind or how to better interact with these kids? I’m so sad about it I’m tempted to pull him from aftercare and keep him home.

We got a 504 plan worked out last week. This week he got suspended again, for fighting another kid.

Meds have been looked at and changed again.

But I’m worried what this will mean for his academic progress in middle and high school. Is he more likely to drop out? Or not see education as important?

He is in the gifted program and tests well above most of the other kids. I’m not worried about him falling behind academically (yet) but I’m so worried about what this will mean later.

I should clarify - anything with RISK.

He won't ride a bike - he likes to walk. He asked for a skateboard for Christmas but won't ride it because he says he might get hurt. His school goes on field trips to roller skate & he sits it out because he doesn't want to fall. His school went to a waterpark for a field trip & he barely swam. Mind you, he's never been hurt from any of these things.

This makes me sad. I feel like he's missing out on so many fun experiences. He is ADHD but takes medication. He has alot of friends & no social issues....

What he does enjoy - playing soccer, gaming & building games, going to the movies, making short films with his friend, playing basketball

Is this normal or is it just his age? He used to ride his bike & swim etc all the time when he was little.

I am still kind of processing this. my son has adhd, same as his dad, and getting him to sit with a book has been a losing battle for a long time. he's either on his tablet or watching videos or bouncing off walls. we tried cutting screen time, we tried schedules, we tried rewards. nothing really held.

tonight he just came up to me out of nowhere, grabbed a book we used to read when he was maybe 6 or 7, and said mom read with me. we got through about 20 minutes before he got antsy but i honestly had to hold it together because that hasn't happened in so long.

now I am trying to figure out how to not blow this. like how do i keep this going without making it feel like a chore to him. last time we pushed reading it turned into a standoff.

Hi--my son (age 9) has been on a lot of different medications. He is STRUGGLING with impulsivity at school. He basically gives me ZERO verbal feedback about his medicine. He has been on several different stimulants at different doses, as well as stimulants with guanfacine. He says all the medicines "do nothing." The only side effect I have personally witnesses was when a certain dose of stimulant made him completely flat and gave him gastro issues.

He is so sweet at home. My biggest "issues" with him are things like forgetting to pick up his clothes or having to be asked several times to do chores, etc. But he has struggled HARD at school this year with impulse control, mostly cussing but sometimes hitting back. He doesn't lash out unprovoked, but when provoked he is highly reactive. I increased his guanfacine this week, but school ends this week too.

How do I assess how he is doing on medication when I can't get any feedback from him at all?

Is anyone else experiencing what feels like hyper-focus or targeting from school staff regarding your ADHD student. Sometimes it does feel like my child is consistently singled out or punished for incidents where multiple kids were involved, while the other students don't seem to face the same consequences ( lunch detentions, no recess)

Also, how would you handle a teacher asking out loud front of other students if your child has taken their medication? It definitely feels like it violates their privacy. Has anyone dealt with this, and how did you handle it.

Hi all,

I've got a 2.5 year old daughter who I breastfed for 6 months, I'm now on baby number 2 and she is currently breastfed.

First time round it was great, the convenience outweighed any negative I ever came across and I only really took her off the breast as she was such a foodie 6 month old when we started weaning she just wanted all the food she could. We had a lot more support with her too as we lived closer to family whereas now we're 3 hours away.

Baby 2 seems to have a huge milk appetite and love for the boob, it's exhausting. It's playing into all my ADHD traits that are a struggle anyway as a parent, I'm tired because it's breastfeeding and taking it out of me while I chase around my other daughter, the sensory experience second time round is absolutely killing me because I'm tired and while I'm feeding her I have to deal with the eldest just generally existing in my personal space, I'm also constantly hungry and I'm now just back into eating rubbish and seeking out sugar and goodies to try survive. And lastly it means while I do bedtime I immediately clock off from bedtime to give up my evening to feed the baby.

I know none of these are major things but I wanted to share here because I feel the experience is more to do with my ADHD and sensory sensitivities than anything else. It certainly isn't anything to do with my two kids, just circumstances second time round. I guess I'm just venting because I feel guilty as I'm looking to move to formula. I've pumped the odd bottle but I don't want to put to be honest, it's faff and my toddler is so full on I'm not sure I'd ever get much consistent time to use my handsfree pump successfully.

Has any other mum's had this experience?

My daughter is showing a lot of the clear signs that she is not picking up sensory cues and wets her pants often, basically daily. I'm 99.9% sure she has ADHD per her inability to stay seated, on task, big emotions, ect. I have ADHD and so does my wife. I told my doctor last year at her 5 year old appointment and he said they don't diagnose till 6. Her appointment is next month with a general doctor. If he sees what I see, does he refer out to a specialist, or if he doesn't see what I see, do i go to a specialist?

How does an ADHD diagnosis go nowadays?

My son was assaulted in the classroom with the skateboard helmet. He was hit around the head three times with a skateboard helmet causing him to hallucinate.In the library while reading and he needed to go to hospital. He was diagnosed with concussion and had a week off school. The school tried to minimise the assault, claiming it was to do with a playground disagreement. The school waited a number of hours until nearly the end of the day before they reported the incident to the parents. Since the incident, there's been no follow-ups. No reports, nothing at all. The teacher didn't even ask how he was when he got back to school.

My son and his friends got into a giggling fit in the classroom. Just through being silly and ten year old boys...... School have called a meeting because they need to get his behaviour back on track and scapegoated, my son with all the blame.

Just wondering if this is normal 🤔 comparable responses to two separate incidents?

Update on the giggling:

Spent the entire day in isolation and was threatened with suspension as a consequence by the principal. I think the school need to read up on developmental psychology. They literally class every behaviour outside of thier expectation as naughty.

It is very common for 10-year-old boys (and girls) to experience giggling fits in the classroom. At this age—typically late elementary or early middle school—several developmental and social factors contribute to this behavior:

1. Peer Connection and Social Validation Ten-year-olds are entering a phase where peer approval is becoming more important than adult approval. A "giggle fit" is often a social bonding mechanism. If one child finds something funny, others often join in to show they are "in on the joke," creating a feedback loop that makes it difficult to stop.

2. Stress and Nervousness Laughter is a common physiological response to stress or tension. If a child feels "on the spot," is being corrected by a teacher, or finds a subject particularly difficult, their nervous system may trigger a giggle as a way to release anxiety. This is often misinterpreted by adults as "disrespect," but it is usually a coping mechanism for feeling overwhelmed.

3. Lack of Impulse Control The prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for impulse control and "checking" inappropriate behavior—is still developing. While an adult might find something funny and keep it to themselves, a 10-year-old often lacks the neurological "brakes" to stop the laughter once it starts

4. Physical Factors

• Boredom: When the brain is under-stimulated, it seeks out any form of entertainment. A small, silly event (like a pencil dropping or a funny noise) can trigger.

Summary: In most cases, a 10-year-old boy giggling in class is a sign of a healthy social drive and a normal, albeit slightly disruptive, stage of childhood development.

Our child will be 7 this month. Last year was very hard for him behaviorally, but by the end of the year, we put in a lot of IEP mods, added more therapy, and started him on Adderall. Theres been a huge difference with the meds, especially at school; it was night and day. Still struggled when he got home, but learned that was pretty common and to be expected.

For the past month or so, he's been struggling more however. Still doing perfectly at school though thankfully. At home, it was as if he had no medicine left in his system at all, and he was more aggressive, leading to punching and kicking me when he didnt get his way. I was growing so defeated, and I finally was able to discuss this at my son's psych appt today. She decided to add Guanfacine, in hopes that it will calm the after school collapse some. Will continue taking the 15mg XR adderall.

I feel like I've seen this protocol being followed a lot, but never looked into the effects of it. For those with kids on this combo, did it help?