u/Aphrodite_almighty

Woke up at 10:00 am Sunday even though I had set my alarm for 7:00 am

Still decided to take my Vyvanse at 12:00 because I felt like I wouldn’t get anything done otherwise.

Got up and showered and walked into the living room only to get distracted by my family sitting around and chatting.

Got anxious because I didn’t eat enough when waking up so just ended up sitting there, spiraling and quiet while wasting precious time on my meds because they only work for like 4 hours.

It’s almost 5:00 now and I feel like crap.

I really really need help or any kind of advice if anyone else has dealt with this. My obsessions have largely shifted to what I can only describe as Meta/hyper awareness obsessions based around transmutation/transforming worries.

It started with obsessions of “going crazy” or not “being aware” and the fear that I would turn into someone else.

This later shifted into literally fearing that I would take on the negative traits or thought patterns of people I didn’t like.

Now it’s more about literal thought processing/frames of mind.

Like just now I was changing my Instagram profile song and clicked on a song and misheard the lyrics as “let the world go by”

This led me worrying about entering a mind frame where I didn’t care about things that mattered to me and let my life go by doing nothing. I then “felt” the fear of not caring about my loved ones.

I also deal with ADHD which I think plays a big role in everything as well.

The most upsetting thing is that sometimes it’s like my mind will have an anxiety response/derealization/depersonalization when this happens so it really feels like I can’t access everything if that makes sense.

If anyone had any resources maybe surrounding this specific area of obsession?

Thank you!