u/AphroditesApple

Hello all-

back again. Still not feeling like I'm nailing this but here to improve it.

I appreciated all of your help on the last one- please let me know where I can continue to improve.

Appreciate it.

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Dear XXX

Genevieve de Contray’s husband is dead, and she couldn’t be more delighted.
For years she survived a violent marriage while haunted by the memory of Sebastian—the only boy she ever loved before he was stolen to the Black Water, where slave ships vanish beneath siren-haunted waves. Now widowed and finally free, Genevieve intends to find him.

Her only hope is a siren’s coin, a relic forged from the soul of a drowned man said to buy miracles from the sea itself. But the coin is stolen by the Man of Many Faces, the only pirate rumored to have survived the Black Water.

No one knows the pirate’s true face. Only that every kingdom remembers him differently.

Desperate to reclaim the coin, Genevieve strikes a deal with a rival captain: kill the pirate, and the coin is hers. But when she discovers the captain plans to betray them both, she changes course. Cornering the Man of Many Faces with a pistol to his throat, Genevieve offers him a new bargain instead: passage through the Black Water and help tracking Sebastian in exchange for his life.

But the pirate she was meant to kill proves more dangerous than the legends surrounding him. He teaches her to sail by the stars, fills the dark with sea myths, and looks at her like she is something precious instead of broken. Somewhere between siren waters and moonlit decks, Genevieve begins to fear the greatest danger lurking in the Black Water is not losing Sebastian—but wanting the pirate beside her more than the miracle waiting at the end of the sea.

[bio & comps]

Hello again-
I'm hoping this is better than the first go. Wondering if it is still a bit too vague and like a blurb. I struggle with these but I'm trying.

Thanks for the feedback!

____

Dear XXXX,

Genevieve de Contray’s husband is dead, and she couldn’t be more delighted.For years she survived a violent marriage while haunted by the memory of Sebastian—the only boy she ever loved before he was stolen to the Black Water, where slave ships vanish beneath siren-haunted waves. Now widowed and finally free, Genevieve intends to do the impossible: find him.

Her only hope is a siren’s coin, a cursed relic forged from the soul of a drowned man and powerful enough to buy miracles from the sea itself. But the coin is stolen by the most infamous pirate in the kingdoms.

Rumored to be cursed by the sirens themselves, the Man of Many Faces is the only pirate to survive the Black Water more than once. No one knows his true face—only that he can steal the face of anyone he chooses.

Genevieve hunts him down ready to kill him for the coin. Instead, they strike a dangerous bargain: he will lead her through the Black Water and help her find Sebastian, and in return, the coin is his.

But the deeper they sail into siren waters, the more the line between monster and man begins to blur. Surrounded by magic, blood bargains, and pirates hunting them, Genevieve begins to fear that the greatest threat lurking in the Black Water is not losing Sebastian—but wanting the pirate beside her more than the miracle waiting at the end of the sea.

[bio & comps]

First 300:

It started with the burning. It always started with a burning.

The burning of wood in the hearth, the burning of crops, the burning of men. It was no different in the end.

“It is the most unpleasant smell, madam.” 

“Of course it is,” I muttered, “that is the point.”

Auguste was right. The smell of charred flesh did nothing to liven the senses. It was repugnant, wasteful of a good spring morning. Instead of tending to the estate duties, walking the streets, or partaking in anything else, we were forced to stand here, and watch him as he burned.

“Did you see the haul that came in last night?” Whispers echoed around us, “lots of fish I’m told, enough to fill the stores, and enough for the rest as well.”

The rest. Everyone external to his majesty, his family, mistresses included, had been reduced to the rest. 

“Hot, hot!” 

The flames from the pyre danced along the frayed edges of Charles’ nightshirt, the same shirt he had been wearing when they had taken him away. 

“Won’t be enough salt to go around to keep all that fish fresh.” Another watcher said.

“Hot! Very hot!”

But of course it was hot, it was meant to kill him afterall. The slow melting of flesh from his bones, a stern reminder to the rest that there would be no acts of treason, no petty theft, no loitering, no profiting, and no piracy. 

“Do they know what kind of fish? Honestly, I’m a bit sick of the…”

“EXTREMELY HOT!”

I had been asleep when the banging on the door had woken me. I reached for my robe, grabbed the candle that rested in its holder on the nightside table, and made my way to the front door.