r/PubTips

My domain host just informed me that, due to a series of unfortunate circumstances, many of my incoming and outgoing emails bounced for the past month.

Problem is: a week after the problems began, I sent an agent my full manuscript as per his request.

I've drafted a short message forwarding my original email, informing him of the issue, and trying to make sure nothing got lost. I'm feeling solid on the email, but I'm confused about the subject line.

If I keep my original one and he already received the materials, he might just think it's a glitch and not read it (wouldn't be the worst thing, I suppose). If I change the subject heading to something more urgent, it might get his attention or it might be ignored or, worst of all, it'll give him a bad impression of me.

Maybe I'm overthinking it, but please help. Subject line ideas?

After a manuscript dies on sub, and the author leaves their agent, can they query the same manuscript to other agents? Can they reach out to another previous offering agent and get the book on sub with a different set of editors?

Does the previous agent have any right to now allow the author to query the same manuscript if they helped edit it?

I wanted to hear people's experiences (or at least what you heard around the pub industry). Thanks! :)

Is my Query acceptable?

Dear (),

Your dedication to championing debut novelists aligns perfectly with my career goals. I am thrilled to pitch S.H.U.G.A.R. HIGH, an upmarket horror novel complete at 125,000 words. The manuscript balances the visceral social critique of Agustina Bazterrica’s TENDER IS THE FLESH with the corporate apocalyptic dread of Ling Ma’s SEVERANCE.

Most apocalyptic stories follow the scrappy underdog who learns to fight. S.H.U.G.A.R. HIGH follows the daughter of the man who owns all of America's Safe Havens.

Harper Hale was raised on her father’s black card and his massive sugar empire. She has never gone without, and she has never looked at the machinery keeping her warm while the world starves fifteen feet from her door.

Three years into a viral apocalypse her father helped contain, Harper is exiled from her brick house to a perimeter tent, pruned as a liability the moment her father leaves the wall. When that wall falls in a single night, she faces a two-hundred-mile trek through an infected country to the Nevada Haven, surviving with no weapon, a group keeping her alive only as a keycard, and the dead refusing to stay quiet.

As Harper crosses the wasteland, survival horror gives way to something more political and intimate: a scientist who calculates the odds on her life out loud, a silent survivor carrying a folder that turns her family's fortune into a confession, a national policy of disappearance dressed as public health. The further Harper walks, the less the apocalypse resembles a collapse of civilization and the more it resembles its logical conclusion.

And the most dangerous voice in the book is the one only Harper can hear.

S.H.U.G.A.R. HIGH is my debut novel. I also have multiple completed manuscripts and am actively building a long-term career in speculative horror fiction.

Thank you for your time and consideration!

Someone posted recently asking for opinions about SCBWI, the Society of Children’s Books Writers and Illustrators. Since I just attended their New England conference, I figured I’d share my thoughts in hopes it helps others.

(Please keep in mind I am one person and others’ opinions may differ. Also this is only one of several regional conferences. I have attended in three other locations, but that was pre-pandemic.)

I think the decision of “is attending the conference worth it” comes down to three questions:

1. Do you write and/or draw picture books?

2. Do you or someone you know live close enough that you won’t have to spend money on a hotel?

3. Is your manuscript ready to be queried?

If you answered “yes” to all these questions, I’d say it’s definitely worth it. If you answered yes to at least two of these questions, I’d say it’s probably worth it to go if you’ve never been to one before. If you answered yes to only one, I’d say it depends on how much disposable income you have. If you can comfortably spend $1000+ (conference fees, travel, lodging, food, expenses) then go for it. If not, I’d say it isn’t worth it.

Let’s break it down by question.

1. I can’t speak for other regions, but the New England SCBWI was largely geared towards picture book (PB) writers and illustrators. The workshops were broken up into six categories: Picture Book Writers, Author/Illustrators, Illustrators, Middle Grade/YA, Business of Publishing, and Motivation. And this may just be because PB writers/illustrators make up most of the attendees; there were critique group sign up lists for the six New England states, and looking over the target audience age most people listed, PB outnumbered MG and YA combined about five to one.

The same was true of the one-on-one critiques: of the 17 agents/editors you could meet with, all of them listed PB manuscripts as an area of interest. Nine also listed YA, and 11 also listed MG (Middle Grade.) Four listed exclusively PB, which doesn’t seem so bad until you realize that there are no agents who exclusively do YA or MG or even YA/MG. But even that doesn’t actually paint an accurate picture of what the agents/editors are there for.

I had meetings with four people, all of whom listed (or SCBWI listed for them) YA as one of their areas of interest. Two of them straight up told me they were only planning on speaking with PB authors/illustrators. One was very nice and apologetic about it and did a great job pivoting in the small amount of time we had and gave me some good tips. The other straight up told me I shouldn’t have signed up to meet with her. When I explained I’d signed up because YA was listed as one of her areas, she said the conference shouldn’t have listed her that way and she was only interested in speaking to people who do PBs. She did give me some general feedback on my query letter, but she clearly wasn’t thrilled (more upset with SCBWI than with me, I think.)

2. I think this one is a no-brainer. Maybe there are some conferences held in inexpensive cities, but Stamford, Connecticut certainly isn’t one of them. If you’re lucky enough to live somewhere close so you can just drive in for the day, it’s much more affordable but otherwise it’s prohibitively expensive.

3. If you have a finished manuscript the one-on-one meetings can be a good way to have exclusive access to agents, but with three big caveats. First, each fifteen minute meeting costs $85 and you can’t submit materials ahead of time, so if you’re going to do it make sure you have your spiel down pat. Second, I heard a few agents straight up tell people they were only there to give feedback, not consider pitches. Third, as I learned the hard way, check with the organizers and make sure the person you’re querying is *actually* interested in manuscripts for your target age.

All in all, I considered it a mediocre experience in terms of professional development. The staff were very kind—this isn’t meant as a dig at them. I don’t plan on going back next year, but I may look into other regions and see if they’re less PB focused.

I hope this helps! Please feel free to chime in with your own experiences.

I have queried the same agent twice with two different manuscripts. She requested both times and responded with praise I might have taken a little too literally and fantastic feedback. Actually, both times it’s been the feedback that ultimately led to figuring out what needed to be done to fill key plot issues. After a year and with her feedback—and a few other request responses—I’m getting ready for round two with the second manuscript. She has never expressly invited me to query her again, nor asked me not to, and she has requested from me twice. I would love to work with her for a host of reasons that I could talk about for far too long, but I don’t want to push anything. Should I query her again?

Hi there! First time querier, feedback appreciated! Jumping in:

Dear [Agent], 

WING DING PARADISE is upmarket speculative fiction complete at 90,000 words. It will appeal to readers who enjoyed the near-future world of Laila Lalami’s The Dream Hotel and the later-in-life self-discovery in Shelby Van Pelt’s Remarkably Bright Creatures. 

When Delle Richards refused to hold a funeral after her husband’s death three years ago, she was sent to a retreat-like rehabilitation program on a Pacific Northwest island for people who show too little or too much emotion. To go home, she must pass a discharge evaluation by convincingly recreating the grief she never properly demonstrated. But she’s already failed several attempts, unable to cry on command for the program director who seems to delight in her failure. One more strike means permanent residency, a life of mocking therapy-speak in uniform. 

Delle is no social butterfly. But when the program shoots to national attention, she starts receiving fan mail from people whose lives she’s touched, undermining the “heartless” persona the program has assigned her and pulling her deeper into a past she’s spent decades trying to forget. Worse, she’s forced into group work with a burnt-out therapist, a man on conditional release from prison, and a young woman who won’t speak. As her once-small world expands through unlikely friendships, and with the final evaluation looming, Delle must choose whether to finally act the part of a good widow as the program demands, or hold on to the one regret that’s kept her from doing so, even if it costs her the chance to leave.

[Bio/closing]

First 300 words

I’ve reconciled to the fact that an all-in-one undergarment will never exist. Not in my lifetime. If it secures, it doesn’t stretch. If it stretches, it doesn’t absorb. If it absorbs, it doesn’t breathe. We’ve got self-flying airplanes and chatbots that tell us how many blinks per minute makes us engaged but not creepy. And not an engineer in the world who can counteract the pendulum of a woman’s moving body. A titty in motion stays in motion.  

“Deep breath in as you return to center,” Navid says. “Tighten-that-core-tighten-that-core, arms long, palms together.”

I fold, hovering my hands so my ring doesn’t hitch the whole way down my pant leg. They can enforce my wearing it, use it to oversee what I eat, curate my library checkouts, send data on the stress chemicals in my sweat to tech CEOs barely old enough to grow upper lip fuzz. What they can’t do is make me buff their matte black piece of scrap metal to high shine. 

To my left, Princess is cross-legged on her mat, massaging her calf. “Yes?” she says. She must sense me watching. “Cankles are an aphrodisiac in certain parts of the world, Delle.” She sweeps her long braids over her shoulder as a privacy curtain. 

My uniform top pulls taut across my shoulder blades. Sudden movements are out of the question. I trust Navid is doing a fine job stretching the rest of the group into transcendence, but unlocking the lower back-tailbone region while keeping a thread count intact is the work of grown women. Us, long-haul truckers, and dental hygienists. 

“Perfectly fine to close your eyes,” Navid sings in tune with the wind chimes.

Hello! I am getting ready to start querying what would be my debut novel this summer and would love feedback on my query letter. Thank you!

I am excited to seek your representation for my novel, PAPERWORK, RED TAPE, & THE HORRIFYING REALITY OF SLEEPING WITH YOUR RIVAL, a male-male horror romance standalone with series potential completed at 87k words. My novel will attract readers who enjoyed the blurred moral ambiguity of what constitutes a monster as seen in Someone You Can Build a Nest In, the sarcastic, self-aware humor and pulp horror as seen in Of Monsters and Mainframes, and the banter and rivals-to-lovers arc of The Entanglement of Rival Wizards.

Welcome to Foelutions Institution for Wayward Mals, the world’s #1 competitor in rehabilitation for rogue mischief makers, the name you can trust. 

When the Malfeasance Act was passed in 780, individuals referred to as “mals” were mandated to attend rehabilitation to correct their villainous tendencies and assimilate back into the world. Foelutions mal therapist Leo Bishop is desperate for a promotion–as his rival, the twice rehabilitated (and regretfully handsome) half-vampire Alarion Cross. In order to not be disqualified, they must work together on cases close to transferring to the mysterious Intensive unit, a classified level of care rife with mystery and conspiracy. But one thing is for certain: nobody ever comes back. 

When competition becomes connection, Leo’s abandonment trauma makes him hesitant to get close to the half-vampire. Rion, who has always been judged for his vampire heritage, challenges this viewpoint, holding up a mirror for Leo to overcome his own misconceptions and accept intimacy. When Rion is severely injured during a case, Leo takes the chance to break down his walls and let himself be seen by the man he secretly loves. 

As they descend into the terrifying worlds of a time-altering cryptid, a demonic doll named Fred, and the apocalyptic Zombie sublevel, an unlikely romance sparks and through teamwork, they make unprecedented progress in their cases. But when their boss inexplicitly separates them for the last case, Leo is assigned to an impossible, and potentially lethal, charge. He uncovers the horrifying truth behind the Intensive unit and Leo must choose: risk both their lives blowing the whistle, or stay silent, condemning countless innocents to a fate worse than death.

My name is Sheila, I am an oncology pharmacist and an avid consumer of the horror genre in all its forms. In my day-to-day life as a healthcare worker, difficult choices are a regular occurrence and dedication often comes in the form of self-sacrifice. I wanted to create a story where the choices aren’t black and white and the characters are regular, flawed people who must make the impossible choice of putting a price on life. As my comfort genre, I believe horror is ideal for genre blending with my second favorite genre, cozy romance. I wanted a MM rivals-to-lovers story tailored to fans of monster stories with the important message of the damage of separatism and the importance of coming together and accepting people for who they are. My novel is a high-stakes, passionate, and darkly humorous story that will attract anyone who wondered what happened to the bad guy after the story ended.

I hope my work connects with you and I look forward to hearing from you. I certify no part of my novel or query package was brainstormed, outlined, written, or edited by AI. Thank you for your time. 

Dear [Agent Name],

[Personalization]

She has lived ten thousand lives, buried everyone she ever loved, and wanted nothing more than to stop. This time, she is Gilgamesh's sister.

Hua carries the memories of all her past lives: the loves, the losses, the accumulated grief of an existence she cannot end. Reborn as a frail girl in a neolithic Mesopotamian tribe, she keeps her head down and her multitudes hidden. She desires only to be left alone.

But when Hua is overheard singing in a forgotten language, the tribe accuses her of being a demon, and she is sent up a holy mountain to be judged by the spirits — a mountain to which none dare venture, and fewer still return. There, Hua experiences something that, in all her lives, is new: a vision. An unfathomable civilization, filled with people of every kind, centered around a great tower. She comes to believe it is a message from the gods, and the means, at last, to end the cycle. But the trees are not so sure.

Hua brings the tribe her vision: a great tower, shared knowledge, a better life. Some follow her — Gilgamesh foremost, who sees in this the key to his own immortality — though many resist. When Hua makes secret contact with neighboring tribes, the chief has her flogged and bans her from leaving the village. She discreetly encourages her followers to do so instead. When one of them is killed for it, she uses that death to stir the tribe to revenge, if only to save herself. And it is in revenge, and the series of betrayals that follow, that Gilgamesh finally finds himself. Hua allows it, all of it, because it serves her as well.

He will take everything she teaches him, everything she builds, everything she sacrifices, and when it is over, he will stand before the people and call her a demon. She will let him. She has, at last, what ten thousand lives denied her: the conviction that she has set something in motion that will outlast even her. The myth of Gilgamesh is his. The civilizations that follow are hers. The trees are unconvinced.

LITTLE FIG is a work of upmarket fiction with speculative elements, complete at 99,000 words. Like Madeline Miller’s Circe, it recovers the woman history needed to villainize. Like Daniel Mason’s North Woods, it asks what the project of building civilization looks like from a perspective old enough to watch it rise and grieve what it cost.

[bio]

I have enclosed [materials] per your submission guidelines. Thank you for your time and consideration.

[Name]

***

Would love any feedback you have!

(And additionally, a question: is the middle section too dense? Would it be better served by just cutting everything from "When Hua makes secret contact..." to the end of the para?)

I posted a couple of weeks ago about my agent being MIA and absolutely rubbish at providing clarity on who he had submitted my proposal to and the status of the submissions.

I reviewed the contract and it actually had a clause specifying visibility and timeliness, so I went back to him and said that he wasn't meeting the terms of his own contract and I wanted to understand what he felt the next steps were.

He actually replied! All apologetic, hadn't got the response he hoped for, zero interest in coming up with a different strategy or trying anything else. I think he thought it would be an easy sell (which is odd, given I quite literally told him I knew it wouldn't be in our call) and when it wasn't, he moved on to other things.

Anyway, I've got the full submission list from him and managed to terminate the contract with zero notice period, so I'm back in control of my own destiny. It is sad, I had high hopes based on how enthusiastic and experienced he was in our early conversations, but sometimes that is just how it is!

I will self-publish if I don't find another route, and I'm happy with that - I always knew it was a long shot for trad pub anyway.

Now that is concluded I have been thinking about what I could have done differently to avoid this.

The only thing I wish I had done was push more on the question "what is your plan if we don't get a positive response to submission?". It would have been good to understand that and perhaps I could have spotted some red flags in his answers. But he was in "sales" mode and, as the founding agent in a well-respected european literary agency, I understand why I believed what he said. So I don't blame myself.

Anyway, onwards and upwards, the best journeys are never linear and I know that something great could be around the corner.

I am seeking representation for my memoir, A BIT OF A MESS (completed; 60,000 words). A BIT OF A MESS brings together the likes of  Stephanie Foo’s What My Bones Know with Tara Westover’s Educated, because my book explores the long road from childhood trauma to scientific, educational achievement.

My abuse began at age four (sexual; emotional), across two impoverished households after my parents divorced. It continued my entire childhood. By high school, I was pregnant. By nineteen, I was married. Trapped in the cycle of poverty and battling a severe mental health crisis that would later be diagnosed as C-PTSD, the odds were entirely against me.

But A BIT OF A MESS is not just about a life of trauma, it's a story of resilience, survival, and the unexpected moments of love and humor that kept me grounded and allowed me to move past being another teen pregnancy statistic. Through years of struggle, I fought my way through academia, ultimately earning my bachelor’s, master’s, and doctoral degrees. 

While I successfully pulled my family out of generational poverty, the emotional toll of the journey required confronting my trauma. Written from my perspective as a survivor who analyzed her own trauma through the lens of a scientist, this book explores what it takes to heal when your past refuses to stay in the past.

I am a scientist, mother, and wife. While I have mainly written professional publications within the scientific journal space, I have also published a narrative essay and am deeply excited about creative non-fiction.

I do hope we have the opportunity to discuss this further. I am pasting below the first 10 pages per the submissions requirements.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Hey all, this query has been through many rounds of revisions, but I’m getting desperate to figure out where I’m going wrong. I’ve been querying this book for a few months and it is the fifth novel I’ve queried. My request rate has always been decent, between 15 and 25 percent, but I keep getting the full request rejection like “I loved A, B, and C about it, but regretfully have to step aside”. I’ve already sent about 45 queries, but before I send any more I want to make sure I’m giving these last few batches my very best. This one is going to really hurt to shelve. Anyway, without further ado….

Query:

Dear [agent],

I’m seeking representation for my YA fantasy, CURSES & CARPENTRY (AND OTHER HOBBIES FOR DEAD GIRLS) complete at 98,000 words. This retelling embraces the folklore origins behind the classic ballet Giselle, imagining the dark tale as a fun, feminist romp for readers of upper YA.

Drama always manages to find seventeen-year-old Giselle, but dying of a heartbreak is a bit much, even for her. Luckily, the Fates intervene, and Giselle wakes to an afterlife in the realm of the wilis—winged spirit-women who haunt dreams, read books, and eat pastries—bound by a centuries-old curse that demands vengeance on the men who betrayed them. But Giselle has one teeny-tiny problem (apart from being dead, that is). She doesn’t remember her death or any alleged “heartbreak”. In fact, she’s still head over heels for Liam—the kind and mysterious boy who helped Giselle when she needed it most and stole her heart in the process—and she’s more certain than ever that someone, somewhere made a cosmic mistake.

Desperate to return home to her ailing father and to rescue the family carpentry shop where her magic thrived, Giselle searches the underworld for a way to thwart the sinister Wili Queen and find a loophole in the ancient curse. But when the queen—whose revenge plot is woven with Giselle’s—orders her to go full-blown nightmare siren on Liam, Giselle must decide if she’s willing to sacrifice the boy she still loves to shield her father from the queen’s wrath. Only by uncovering the truth behind her mysterious death and facing the guilt she’s long since buried can she prove that love is stronger than vengeance.
 
This dual-timeline narrative alternates between the love story that manifests Giselle’s untimely death and the unexpected afterlife that follows. As whimsical as it is romantic, this novel combines the offbeat humor in The Lady Janies series with the lush world building of Allison Saft’s Wings of Starlight with an added side of coziness as exemplified by Sarah Beth Durst.

A combination of my passion for ballet and my long-time love of fiction writing, CURSES & CARPENTRY is a standalone novel with series potential. I have my Bachelors in Creative Writing, have published a YA Fantasy novel with a small press, and am a former Pitch Wars mentee. This manuscript was runner-up in the editing competition, RevPit 2025. When not writing, crocheting, or kid-wrangling, you can find me in the kitchen, doing just about anything other than cleaning it.

Thank you again for your time and consideration!

Sincerely,
Author

First 300 words:

After Death

The cemetery is as familiar as the scent of baking bread or sawdust beneath my nails. I’ve visited my mother’s grave here hundreds of times, but this time is different. My freshest memory—the very last moment that I have in true detail—is being in the hayloft with Liam, curled together beneath his golden glow.

I’ll give the Fates one thing, it’s one hell of a memory to end on.

I circle around the freshly turned soil of the grave where I awoke, muttering every curse word I can think of. Scratching at the corners of my mind, I try to put the jumble of recent memories together into anything remotely sensical, to somehow explain how I arrived in this moment. In this place.

“Rion?” I shout into the void of the night, the sea of headstones my only audience. Could my best friend somehow be behind this twisted, elaborate hoax? It’s far-fetched, but we’ve put each other through some wild shenanigans before and, really, what other explanation is there? People don’t just materialize in graveyards at night, unless they’re . . .

No. I halt that train of thought immediately, folding my arms across my chest. People do not materialize in graveyards at night. Period.

“Rion?” My call wavers. If he isn’t to blame, then no doubt he’ll come looking for me when I don’t visit his bakery for my morning croissant. “Come out now. Please, this isn’t funny.” My voice echoes off the tall stone wall surrounding the cemetery followed by the lonely hoot of a strix owl in the distant woods.

A sinking stone settles in my stomach as I consider that perhaps this isn’t Rion’s doing at all. Are the Fates punishing me for something? I can’t imagine what for, but I’m sure my father might have a suggestion or two.

Thanks in advance!!!

I'd like to submit my new novel to this agent.

However, about two years ago, her colleague ghosted me on a previous novel.

The agent who ghosted me was very helpful and I have no hard feelings. There was never a contract but we had a few Zoom meetings and went through about three rounds of edits on the book.

By the end I could sense her interest waning, and eventually stopped hearing back from her.

Now I am wondering what to do with this new book.

I feel like it would be more polite to email the original agent who ghosted me, but the book doesn't seem the sort of thing she wants.

Or should I email the new agent, acknowledging my history with her colleague?

I anticipate there might not be a right and wrong answer here but would appreciate any advice.

Thank you. This is a very helpful sub.

I wanted to ask if this is a viable way of getting published in the long term or even just earning from writing contests and publishing in magazines and journals and whatnot. Im pretty new to short form and submitting my work so I also would appreciate an introduction how to approach this to build towards a name for myself. I write literary fiction. What’s something I should know about submitting or publishing through these outlets? Has it made a difference when you queried your long form novels to agents? Id like the bottomline or what I should know or some tips would be so much appreciated. Thanks a lot

Hi! Throwaway account because I feel embarrassed and nervous about this one....

An agent has had my full for a few months (seems to be their average timeline), and I recently got a chance to say hi to them in person when they guested at a writing conference I was attending. I introduced myself, explained they had my full MS, and they were super kind, receptive and acknowledged it was in their queue.

The same agent is guesting at another conference I am attending in a few weeks. My question is: Would it be weird and unprofessional to schedule a pitch with them? It's common enough knowledge that you don't necessarily need to pitch a project to an agent during these conferences; if you just want to sit down, ask one-on-one questions, etc., that's perfectly normal.

But would it be weird for me to do this with them? It's not so much me trying to "IRL nudge" them as it is just genuinely wanting to speak with them, discuss their agency and, of course, why I want to work together.

Thoughts?

*please be kind I’m already on antidepressants.

Dear Agent,

I am seeking representation for INFAMOUS, a 52,000-word commercial contemporary YA novel. It combines the social media crime elements of Holly Jackson’s A GOOD GIRL’S GUIDE TO MURDER with the influencer protagonists of Lilia Buckingham and Sara Shepard’s INFLUENCE.

Posting five-finger-discount hauls on Tumblr and joining a secret crime collective are a dream for eighteen-year-old Tenley Van Houten, until betraying her best friend might get her a body bag instead of one from Balenciaga.

Eighteen-year-old Tenley shoplifts to manage her anxiety. The dopamine doesn’t hurt either. After all, there are so many curated boutiques in Sienna Hills, Tenley’s hometown, that it’s easy. Sienna Hills is only a few exits from L.A., which means endless stores for Tenley and her best friend, Amy Wagner, to lift from.

Most of the time Tenley is the one behind the camera, while Amy is in front of it, posting on her YouTube channel. Behind the scenes, though, they work on a different kind of content: Amy’s lifter hauls, which she anonymously posts on Tumblr.

Tenley has always sat shotgun, but she’s shoved into the co-pilot seat when Amy gets accepted into an exclusive online community of lifters. The group, The Collective, takes orders from someone known only as Magpie.

At first, Tenley is happy, and her anxiety finally quiets. Then Magpie asks her to steal something worth more than her entire lifted collection. Tenley pulls it off, but when Amy freezes during the job, Tenley tells Magpie, not because she has to, but because she’s sick of being Amy’s assistant.

Soon, Tenley is fielding not only Magpie’s texts but Amy’s wrath. All of a sudden, Tenley wishes she had stuck with the boutiques: Amy has already committed multiple felonies, so what's one more when she wants payback? Tenley has to get out of The Collective and away from Amy before she winds up memorialized in an Instagram post.

[Bio]

Sincerely,

Me

*I originally had the comps and everything at the bottom but now it seems the style is to put them at the top. My last agent was okay w short word counts I’m hoping this one is too.

Dear [Agent],

Jewel Laurent clawed her way up from nothing and finally had everything she was told to want: a thriving law career, a wealthy, handsome husband, and a child—just as the world began to unravel. When Peak Oil hit, and the industrial order collapsed, a new plutocratic regime stripped women of their rights and concentrated power in a seven-member ruling council. Jewel’s husband’s status buys them entry into the largest of the newly formed city-states, where his everyday cruelties harden into sanctioned abuses that quietly rewrite her life.

Five years in, Jewel crosses paths with Simon Knox, the regime’s brilliant, ruthless technocratic leader, a man who helped forge a world he now despises. Once a celebrated prodigy, he’s addicted to hard drugs and sliding into madness, while partners obsessed with bloodlines and eugenics demand an heir he secretly cannot give.

Under pressure from the powerful men orbiting him, Knox turns his wealth into a weapon, demanding that Jewel bear his child and forcing her to stake her own body to protect her family from exile. The fertilization sessions get off to a rocky start, and two months in, they have still been unable to consummate the agreement. When a grainy photograph of their embrace leaks, her husband’s barely caged fury detonates. Despite signing the contract for her to carry Knox’s child, he beats her horrifically and abandons her to face the conception term alone in a world where women depend solely on men for survival.

Suddenly unmoored yet strangely unbound, Jewel is drawn into Knox’s gilded shadow and the dangerous pull of the resistance, determined to destroy him. As the uprising ignites, she alone stands at the fulcrum, able to end Knox or save him. For the first time in a decade, Jewel chooses herself and the illicit, uncertain love growing between them, wagering that it might be enough to crack a system built on domination and fear.

A LETHAL RELIANCE (90,000 words) is a dark dystopian romance told in dual POV and will appeal to readers of Ariel Sullivan’s CONFORM and Dani Francis’s SILVER ELITE.

Raised in a remote Alaskan village that often felt like the start of a dystopian novel, I ground my writing in that landscape and in careful research. I am currently pursuing a BA in English with a minor in Creative Writing.

Thank you for your consideration.

______________________________________________________________________________
*First attempt was too short, I thought the entire document should be under 300 words. As such, it was vague. Now I worry that this is too long.

* Received feedback that the romance did not seem compelling. Tried to make it clearer why she may choose the villain over her husband.

*Was fortunate enough to present this to an agent in person this weekend. She doesn't work in my genre but was shockingly complimentary about the query. Has also been reviewed by my developmental editor.

*I originally had a comp that was self-published before being picked up by a trad publisher (DAGGERMOUTH). Was told via PubTips that this isn't a good comp, but my editor and the agent I spoke with did not share this view and think I should use it because it's brand new.

(Greeting),

Fox and Paige were never meant to heal each other…only survive a semester together.

Think: 10 Things I Hate About You meets Bend It Like Beckham.

Here’s my steamy sports romance, CHASING THE DREAM. It’s approximately 80,000 words, told in dual POV. It's comparable to The Write Off by Kara McDowell and Puck You by Flynn Novak. 

Paige Blake is one psychology course away from landing her dream internship—if she can impress the professor who holds her future in his hands. Enter Fox: her annoyingly charming spring-break mistake, now her assigned partner, and the one person who can tank her final grade. Determined to keep things professional, Paige tries to ignore their undeniable chemistry and stay loyal to her on-again, off-again British boyfriend, Jay.

Fox Bolding, also a Brit, has ambitions of his own that don’t include distractions from the opposite sex. The Georgia U soccer team needs him to lead them to their first-ever national title. But the lines between competition and obsession blur when his need to win Paige over outweighs his need to win games. Fox witnesses his arrogant teammate and rival, Jay, cheating on Paige. Telling her could destroy their delicate friendship, but staying silent means he has to watch Jay make her and the team look like fools.

When Fox learns of his mom’s death and that his father had no plans of telling him until after he got his team to the final match. Fox makes a series of poor decisions that lead to disastrous consequences, both personally and professionally. Paige is perhaps the only person who can pull him from the depths of darkness before he takes more permanent measures, as her brother did after suffering an injury that cost him his professional soccer career. CHASING THE DREAM is a contemporary forced proximity/second-chance romance that’s about having the courage to be vulnerable no matter the cost. Think Elle Kennedy’s Off-Campus series, but with hot international soccer guys.

This is my debut standalone with series potential. (BIO/SignOff)

ANY advice would be helpful. Thank you in advance. :-) ~SB

Long time lurker and first time poster, and it's a bit terrifying, so please be kind!

Dear Agent,

I am very excited to share with you my multi-POV Southern gothic horror novel, YOUR EYES ARE OPEN WOUNDS, complete at 82,000 words. It will appeal to fans of Witchcraft for Wayward Girls by Grady Hendrix, The Caretaker by Marcus Kliewer, Sundial by Catriona Ward, and Just Like Mother by Anne Hetzel, steeped in the eerie mysticism of the song Season of the Witch by Donovan.

Margot has spent decades building a life for herself as an author in Los Angeles, far from the abuse she endured at the hands of her mother, Iris. Then her younger sister, Wendy, calls with the news Margot has been waiting twenty-five years to hear: Iris is dying.

Returning to her childhood home in rural Louisiana, Margot plans to stay just long enough to make sure Iris is truly gone, and, if possible, repair her fractured relationship with her estranged sister, who remembers a very different mother – one who wasn’t brainwashed by a violent cult.

But when Wendy’s children, Max and Emma, move into Iris’s house, they begin behaving strangely. They are seeing things, hearing footsteps, and are visited by a terrifying man covered in bees. As Margot begins recognizing unsettling parallels between their experiences and the fragments she remembers from the cult, she is forced to dig into the trauma she has spent decades trying to bury. If nothing else, the truth might be enough to reignite her declining career.

But Iris’s death is only the beginning. As the children’s experiences grow darker and Emma begins displaying impossible abilities, Margot is forced to confront the truth she has spent her life denying: whatever followed her out of that cult has never let her go. The horror didn’t end when she escaped, and if Margot can’t stop it now, the cult is coming for the children.

[Bio/sign off]

FIRST 300

CHAPTER 1 - Margot
Every morning, my first thought was always the same: will today be the day my mother finally dies? It consumed me. I would think about it while I got my oil changed. While I did my taxes. While I looked into the eyes of the man I loved. 
Soft rain pattered against the window – the first time we had rain in Los Angeles in almost a month. The sun lifted itself out of the ocean, spilling gold across the water all the way to shore. The world felt suspended in that in-between moment, where the street lights were turning off as bedroom lights were flicking on. People starting their day. Jogging, making smoothies, walking their dogs.
Imagining their mother’s death.
“So you see the problem, right, Margot?” Joanna, my agent, crackled through the phone. It was eight a.m. in New York, but she knew I’d be awake. Still awake. 
“Sorry?” I replied. The knuckles on my left hand bloomed white as I gripped my pen, clicking it open and shut in a pattern that soothed me. 
“You haven’t earned out your last two advances. The publisher is hesitant about picking up your option,” she said with all the tact of a battering ram “Please tell me you have something I can show them that will change their mind.”
I spun my chair back and forth, slowly, still staring out the window. The rain had picked up, so the glittering expanse of the city at dawn had been reduced to tiny pixels. 
Click. Click. Click. 
“And for the love of Christ, can you stop clicking that pen?” she huffed. 
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Jo.”
“I want you to say you have pages to send me.”
“I just need a bit more time,” I replied.

tl;dr - I signed with Brent Taylor of Triada Literary and we we're on sub!

STATS

Total Sent: 47

Fulls: 12 (7 before nudge, 4 after nudge, 1 partial to a full)

Partials: 3

R&R: 1

Offers: 3

Query Rejects: 22

First query to signing: 1/28 - 4/30 (13 weeks)

QUERY LETTER I am reaching out because you mentioned you [personalization]. I am seeking representation for CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR FAKE BOYFRIEND IS EVIL, an 85k-word standalone adult paranormal romance. It will appeal to fans of the cozy, enchanted-house magic and found family of A Witch’s Guide to Magical Innkeeping by Sangu Mandanna with the witchy romcom vibes of The Ex Hex by Erin Sterling.

Mackenzie Fisher’s life looks ideal on paper: a thriving career at a Seattle tech firm, a SoulCycle coven of very fit witches, and a textbook-perfect boyfriend. When she inherits an old coastal Victorian, she can almost hear the patter of little baby feet on oak floors.

But a crushing breakup leaves Mac alone in a decrepit enchanted house with no internet and her aunt’s grimoire. In a grief- and Midnight-Margaritas-fueled haze, she conjures a man to be the partner who’ll finally make her happy—attentive, protective, and completely devoted. Her creation is harmless, until the house’s wards unravel and an unsettlingly charming demon possesses him.

Desperate to repair the wards, Mac turns to her new coven mate Jamie. His helpfulness and friendly magnetism (and, yes, a strong jaw and broad shoulders) make her feel seen in a way she hasn’t in a decade but trusting him with her demonic mistake feels riskier than anything creeping through the wards.

If Mac can’t woman up and get vulnerable with Jamie, her home—and the future she desperately wants there—will crumble around her.

As a Seattle-based geologist and National Board Certified science teacher, I’ve combined my love of the natural world with a passion for approachable fantasy world-building and swoon-worthy romance to write this novel.

TIMELINE

Early Dec 2025 -- posted my query letter here for a [QCrit]. Had a literary agent reach out in the DMs to give me her solicited query link.

Late Jan -- a big 5 editor reached out in the DMs and said that she loved the pitch and would read it and possibly connect me with an agent. I vetted her contact through the publisher and shared the manuscript.

Jan 28 -- sent a batch of 7 queries to fast responders. One was Brent Taylor. Got two partial requests and a full request from Brent within a few days. That confirmed my query package was working.

Feb 2 -- sent another batch of 22 queries

Feb 8 - April 17 -- sent another 18 queries as agents opened up

Mar 25 -- heard back from the editor that she loved the book and wants to set up a call to chat about it. Set up the call for mid-April. Nudged all the agents that had my full to tell them I had this call set up. A few agents responded that they'd fast-track reading my manuscript.

April 10 -- got a request to set up THE CALL with the agent who had reached out on Reddit

April 15 -- got a request to set up a call with Brent

April 16 -- met with the first agent, got a request for a call with a third agent, gave the first agent a two week deadline and nudged all the outstanding queries

April 17 -- met with Brent and the editor

April 29 -- met with the third agent

April 30 -- signed with Brent

May 6 -- received editorial letter and started edits

May 15 -- finished edits (added about 4,000 words to make the romance more earned and make the evil boyfriend more evil) and sent them back

May 19 -- edits passed muster and we're starting the process of going on submission!

RANDOM OBSERVATIONS

• I was much more likely to get a CNR on an email than a QM submission
• I included that I had 2 offers and editorial interest when nudging the outstanding queries, and a few of those turned into fulls but I also got a few full rejections that said "it looks like you have someone who can be a strong advocate, and so I'll step aside". It's impossible to know if including the number of offers and interest helped or hindered getting more fulls and offers.
• I got full requests from a huge range of query packages (letter only, 5 page, 10 page, 3 chapters, 10k words)
• I had multiple partials and fulls that cited the book title as the reason they were requesting
• I sat in the "maybe" pile for a number of agents and those DID turn into fulls eventually

Thanks to everyone who gave feedback on the initial query letter. Let me know if you all have any questions!

Hi everyone,

Please see below my query and the first 300 words. I am a little nervous since my story touches on mainstream political topics (even though obviously it's entirely fiction), but curious to see the reactions / feedback. Would welcome any critique and thoughts :)

Query:

Dear Agent

When a rare 4th-century Persian manuscript is stolen from the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York, Dr. Leila Karam expects to help recover it. Instead, she becomes the prime suspect.

An Iranian-American curator who helped authenticate the Codex Seraphim, Leila watches her career collapse overnight as her past criticism of American foreign policy is weaponized as evidence of loyalty to Tehran. Her only path to clearing her name runs through FBI Special Agent Daniel Mercer — except Mercer isn’t there to help her. He wants to know why she shared her research with a designated extremist organization in Iran, an accusation that a horrified Leila vehemently denies.

With nothing left to lose, Leila offers Mercer the one thing that might make him listen: the Codex was secretly altered before it ever reached the Met. Someone planted something inside it. And whoever stole it must already know what it says.

With the American invasion ultimatum to Iran set to expire in four weeks, what follows is a race across Manhattan’s museums and churches as Leila and Mercer uncover a chilling conspiracy to stage a catastrophic attack in Tehran and provoke a U.S. military response. At the center of it all is a powerful Iranian-American philanthropist who intends to use the Codex — and Leila herself — to manufacture public support for war.

As Washington and Tehran edge closer to open conflict and innocent lives hang in the balance, Leila has mere hours to stop the coming attack by uncovering the Codex’s true meaning: not a call for holy war, but a warning about the devastating cost of weaponizing faith in the service of empire.

The Met Heist is an upmarket thriller complete at 84,000 words that explores the themes of immigration, faith, and the political consequences of fractured identity. It will appeal to readers of Katy Hays’s The Cloisters, and Paul Vidich’s Beirut Station.

{bio}

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Yours sincerely,

First 300 words:

It was usually said that nothing beat a first experience, and Special Agent Daniel Mercer found himself reluctantly agreeing as he stood just inside the Medieval Treasury Hall at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Even though he was a man of combat, he still hadn’t expected his first MET visit to begin with gunfire.

Guests who had arrived draped in diamonds and couture only half an hour ago now clustered in confused knots, clutching handbags and pearls with equal desperation. A man who looked like a CEO, dressed in a sharp suit, argued loudly into his phone; a middle-aged woman, dangling an oversized Chanel bag, dabbed mascara streaks from beneath her eyes; a European minister’s wife sat rigid on a chair, as she enquired from her husband about the latest updates in a thick accent. This was the who’s who of New York power, stripped of polish and reduced to spectators of a crime scene at the world’s leading museum. 

Special Agent Daniel Mercer’s plan had been precise: attend the unveiling, observe Dr. Leila Karam, and speak with her after the exhibit concluded. However, hell had broken loose the moment Dr. Karam had taken her place on the stage next to the glass vault encasing the Codex. “Good morning,” she had begun, dressed sharply in a peach pant suit, the hint of her pink blouse just visible beneath her collar.

“It is my profound honor to present, for the first time in modern history, the Codex Seraphim. A relic that has survived crusades, empires, and centuries, to be with us here tonight in the very heart of New York.”

Mercer had listened attentively, already framing his questions. But then a sharp fire rang through the air. Mercer had turned to see a man, dressed in a sharp tuxedo, his arm raised, as he fired another shot at the ceiling, and the plaster rained down on the guests.