Got a partial request from a lovely agent. After sending, I immediately got a message along the lines of "actually, this might be a better fit for my colleague X, send it to her". Great, if I hadn't gotten a form rejection from said colleague months ago. Awkward! Normally, I'd treat this as a "rejection is a rejection is a rejection" case and would never resubmit... but my query package six months ago was significantly worse. The pitch was worse and the sample pages started with a (bad) prologue that everyone hated (including me). I suspect a referral and better pitch would change things a bit, but also do not want to behave like an idiot. What do you think, would resubmitting be a big no-no right now?

Hi all! Sharing my querying stats and timeline bc those who have shared before me taught me so much.

• Total Queries Sent: 20
  • Full Requests: 5
  • Rejections: 10
  • Closed / No Response after stated time window: 1
  • Didn’t hear back within 2 weeks after nudge: 3 (classifying these a bit differently than CNR because they didn’t have my OG query for more than a week before I had to nudge them due to my other agent’s offer and I suspect I am still buried in their inbox.
  • Offer: 1
• Pitch Events: 2
  • Both on Bluesky
  • Resulted in 4 agent likes —> queried 2 of them —> 1 became the offering agent

Why So Few Queries?

I researched publishing for about 18 months while writing and before querying, including a Publisher’s Marketplace subscription to track which agencies actually make deals in my subgenre (spoiler, not everything is on Publisher’s Marketplace, so don’t treat it as scripture). Once I filtered for reputable agencies (I will be honest, I mostly looked for big names and popular boutiques) without Writer Beware warnings, checked deal histories, and cross-referenced current MSWLs, there simply not a ton of agents were a genuine fit, imo. I am not sure how people are finding 150+ agents who are a good fit with a good reputation to query…but maybe I’m missing something.

Note: I had 8 more dream agents on my target list, but they were closed to queries when I launched. When I knew my agent was setting up “The call”, I checked and none of the 8 had reopened, so I couldn’t query them. If they had been open, I would have shot off those queries, as I didn’t have an official offer in hand at that time. If you aren’t aware, it’s considered bad practice to send more queries after receiving an offer (from what I’ve read).

The Book

• Genre: Upmarket fantasy with a literary lean, 100k words
• Drafting/Editing Timeline: August 2025 to July 2026, began querying in July 2026, Got offer in August 2026
• Beta Readers: One trusted reader (my partner), who did two rounds of substantive feedback. You don't necessarily need a 10 person beta committee if your reader is sharp, well-read, and honest imo

Resources I Used During Writing/Querying

A lot of authors from the below resources have background like: ”I have a masters in Creative Writing”, or “my dad was an English professor at a top university”, or “I’ve been writing since I was in the womb”. That is not me. I think I won a creative writing contest once at the local library in middle school when I wrote a short story on a whim. I didn’t write in HS or college or after. But I have always been an avid reader and have really tried to continue to consume more challenging books, even as the world burns and I am tired at the end of the day after work and just want easy, mindless fluff. I really think continuing to read books with a higher reading level has helped me as a writer. Additionally, I am a pretty good learner. I’ve adopted a “just google it” and “I can learn anything on YouTube” mindset, which has helped me a ton. Once you start seeing a craft as something you can learn with certain steps you can write out in a list, everything becomes clearer. I am also very lucky/grateful many writers have shared info on the craft for free online.

• Podcasts / Newsletters: The Shit No One Tells You About Writing, No Write Way (V.E. Schwab), Jane Friedman’s Electric Speed newsletter
• Craft Lectures: Brandon Sanderson’s university lecture series (On Writing), Sabaa Tahir’s Skillshare class
• Industry Research: Publisher’s Marketplace deal tracking and reading everything on r/PubTips, looking at agency websites, social media, etc.
• Prose Mechanics: Breaking down paragraph structures from my fave comp titles, intentional practice with rhetorical devices (I felt like I was back in school leaning terms like “anaphora” and “epistrophe”…I’m sure I learned them at some point but I’m 30 now and didn’t remember any of that shit), and tightening punctuation (mastering em dash, semicolon, etc). This may sound silly, but being able to put textbook definitions to things helped me use them more, and helped me recognize them in my prose so I could make sure I wasn’t using them too often

Preparing the Next Project & The Call

Before the offer landed, I started Book 2 backwards: comps —> query pitch —> 1-page synopsis —> outline. Building marketability and story structure into the foundation has made writing way easier, guys. Cannot stress this enough. You should do it from Book 1. I wish I had done that.

Having Book 2 outlined and Book 3 conceived was a major asset on “The Call”. My agent appreciated that I approached writing as a possible ongoing career rather than a one-book gamble. Take a moment to look past the “prestige” of being published you want so bad and realize a realistic career for you is NOT fame and fortune. Imagine writing for 5 years after a long day of work and make sure you want to do this. The possibility of fame and fortune is there, but this is NOT a good industry to get into if your goal is a lucrative side hobby. On “The Call“, I made sure I had (and communicated) realistic expectations about keeping my day job and balancing submission timelines…which seems like 1 book/year from what I can tell in most writing circles.

Keeping Receipts

Given current anxieties around AI detection tools (which often flag stylized, complex prose and have given my prose a non-zero AI score which makes me very nervous and mad), I kept complete version receipts. This includes dated digital version histories and red-pen physical manuscript drafts. TBH, this actually can’t disprove AI use, nothing really can, but they are better than nothing. FWIW I don’t believe publishers are asking for receipts just yet. IMO they should be doing their job and recognizing AI tells + just buying good books. This shouldn’t be on me, the author. But what do I know!!

Parting Thoughts

I am happy I have an agent from a good agency with past deals and a strong interested in the types of books I like to write. However, it’s very likely a book will die on submission to publishers. I read a stat (I think on this subreddit, I’m not sure) that 30-50% of books are picked up by publishers. I’m not sure if that’s high or low, but it’s NOT 100%, so the journey is far from over and there is a strong chance I will fail.

Given all that, it’s easy to move the goalposts on yourself (like obsessing over why only one offer materialized instead of five…lol this is me rn), but from what I can tell publishing involves an enormous amount of subjective timing. It’s also totally possible my first book (or yours) isn’t all that great and that’s fair. The second will be better, as will the third, then those agents might be kicking themselves for not signing us (lol I know this is petty but we must persist via a little delulu). We will all keep writing and learning as we go, hopefully.

Control what you can, try to be as realistic and disciplined as possible, and get started on your next book.

I'm back again, however humorous that might be. I think this will be my last attempt - I mainly want to know if things are progressing in the right direction, finally. Attempt 11 is here

More than anything, I want to know if I've finally cracked making Magalan an active participant in the story. Anything else is welcomed to be pointed out.

If its helpful to know (as I've pointed out before) the query letter will come with a synopsis attached, as is the norm in my country, so I'm not trying to get bogged down in the finer details of, for instance, what a 'grisly magic system' is beyond the mention in paragraph 5.

Also, I don't need it pointed out that 12 attempts warrants a look into the manuscript or to push it aside, I'm aware of these facts.

Thanks again for sticking around, and thank you enormously for any feedback that is given.

Query:

Dear [AGENT],

I’m writing to seek representation for my first novel, TYRANTLAND, a 110,000-word fantasy novel inspired by the history and culture of Congo-Kinshasa. It is a standalone novel, with series potential, that combines the anti-colonial fantasy of C.L. Clark’s The Faithless with a grisly magic system like that in K. M. Enright’s Mistress of Lies.

In the blink of an eye, Okessio Magalan’s life is upended. His legendary winning streak at the card table is snatched away by a humiliating deception he recognizes only too late.

Magalan is a Markiman, a second-class citizen across the nation, and unwilling to give up on the life of fame and luxury that few Markimen can attain. The only person who can restore it, however, is the man who defeated him: influential explorer Carel De Vilaume. Vilaume offers to help Magalan reclaim his former life if he joins him on a dangerous expedition to a distant colony, where they will seek an ancient magic capable of curing Vilaume’s mysterious ailment.

But in the land of the Markimen, Magalan refuses to ignore the brutality he witnesses. His criticisms antagonize Vilaume and attract the attention of the powerful tyrants who wield control over the colony. Determined not to jeopardize his chance at returning home, Magalan continues to support Vilaume on his journey, even as he learns that nothing is as he was told; Vilaume is not just another explorer to the colony, and the cure is far more than simple medicine.

When Magalan’s investigation leads to an attack on their airship, he embraces the colony’s most ancient – and bloody – magic to survive. Vilaume sees Magalan’s newfound powers as a means of seizing the cure by force, but Magalan refuses to harm the Indigenous people who have supported him; so Vilaume betrays him to the colonizers to gain a head start on the cure.

Rescued by his Indigenous allies, Magalan learns that Vilaume is the progenitor of the colony’s submission – and that the cure, capable of far more than healing one man’s disease, will never be given willingly. Burdened with his new magic, Magalan sets out to stop Vilaume from reaching it. If he fails, the cultures, languages, and friends he has encountered will fall under the control of a rejuvenated explorer with a long history of choosing profit over peace.

It may cost Magalan his only way home, but the path is clear – Vilaume must be stopped, no matter the cost.

I graduated with from ____ in 2024. There, my academic focus in colonial and postcolonial literature helped me to assemble the first draft of ‘Tyrantland’ during my time teaching in ___ during 2025.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

OP

Hi there,

It's my first time posting a question here, and it's mostly due to having reached a point in my querying journey at which I really need some support / thoughts of others who have been through the same. So I thought I'd just shoot my shot :)

I've been querying for about half a year at this point and it's been a rollercoaster to say the least. To cut to the important part, after countless rejections and CNRs, I finally had an agent I'd nudged request my full manuscript. Two weeks of me trying not to think about it passed - and then they sent me a message on QT saying they'd like to jump on a call with me and asked me for my general availability.

(Note: The message was definitely intended for me, they stated my name and signed differently then they did in automatic responses.)

I was (of course) losing my mind a bit (positively). I responded the same day. However, this was a week ago, and there has not been any response by them since.

I am not posting this to complain, and I know one week is little time in the publishing world, but to someone having to spend it waiting for a chance at their dream it feels like a lifetime. What I am looking for is some experience of people who've signed with an agent - how long did it take for them to call you? Is such a "delay" normal? Is it a red flag? I can't help the thought of "if they were so interested, shouldn't they be trying to sign me before someone else does"?

I am just very confused and frustrated and honestly don't know how I can go on querying if this ends in me being ghosted. It's just very demotivating. I thought I'll send them a follow-up in the next few days, but I'm afraid this will come across as pushy - but I also think it's valid to expect a response.

Thank you all in advance for sharing your thoughts.

Below is my first attempt at a query letter, followed by an example essay from my manuscript. I'd appreciate any and all feedback or advice!

QUERY:

Hi [Agent],

I am seeking representation for poems i wrote instead of killing myself, a 62,000-word memoir-in-essays about a woman trying to understand how she became someone who wanted to die--and what happened after she tried.

This is a book about suicide, but not really about suicide. It is about everything that happened along the way: growing up with a blind, mentally ill mother, an absent father, death, grief, bad decisions, self-sabotage, obsession, love, heartbreak, and the creative ways I found to cope with it all.

The essays move through childhood, adolescence, adulthood, relationships, and the aftermath of losing my parents, ultimately arriving at the suicide attempt that gives the book its title.

Some of the stories are devastating, some are embarrassing, and some are just outright ridiculous. My half-sister was sold to her adopters for drug money. Allegedly. My mother’s ashes were stolen from the trunk of my car. I faked my own kidnapping. I was unhappy in my career as a social worker, so I thought I wanted to become a mortician. I became a taxidermist instead.

The circumstances of my life may be unusual, but the feelings underneath them are not.

I am interested in the places where contradictory things can be true at the same time: loving someone who hurt you, grieving someone whose death brought relief, being both victim and perpetrator, wanting to die while still finding things worth living for.

It is essentially a girl’s diary about wanting to die.

The poems and essays in this book are what came out instead.

poems i wrote instead of killing myself will appeal to readers of I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy and The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls, particularly readers drawn to memoirs that are dark, irreverent, intimate, and unwilling to make pain pretty.

[Bio]

Thank you for your consideration.

Cheers,

[Name]

EXAMPLE ESSAY:

i faked my own kidnapping

I used to lie a lot as a kid.

Small lies, like telling a nice lady at church that it was my birthday when it wasn’t.

She would pick me up and drive me home each week because my mom didn’t drive.

She didn’t have a license. Or a car.

I told her my parents didn’t get me any birthday presents, so she took me to the Dollar General and let me pick out a few toys.

I walked up to my front door, shiny new toys in hand, and the nice lady standing next to me.

It’s not her birthday?

My mom was so pissed at me.

I never got gifts on my birthday. That was true.

It just happened to be August and my birthday is in November.

One evening, when I was particularly bored and restless, I went to play outside and didn’t tell my mom where I was going.

There were a few empty houses on our street.

I went to one of them and sat in the carport, playing with my new Barbie.

I later heard my mom calling my name and I ignored her.

Shortly after, I heard a lot of people calling my name.

And I ignored them, too.

It’s dark now and the street is lit up by police cars.

They’re looking for me.

I don’t want to be found.

Eventually, one of my neighbors finds me hiding in the carport.

I pretended to be scared.

I didn’t want to get in trouble, so I told them a strange man tried to hurt me.

I had run away and hid from him.

And that was true.

Except that it had happened a few years earlier and I never got to be dramatic about it.

Hi all,

Thank you so much for your help last week. I took your advice and cut the manuscript from 128K to 115K words. I had thought there wasn't anything left to cut (I had already cut from 154K) but it wasn't too hard; it turns out I really love filter verbs, ha.

I also got rid of the prologue and am now starting the story at the wedding in 1308 rather than the invasion in 1326.

Finally, I revised the query pretty heavily.

Looking forward to your feedback -- thank you all again for your sage advice.

Dear [Agent Name],

[Personalization]

I’m thrilled to submit to you my standalone upmarket historical novel, SHE-WOLF, complete at 115,000 words.

Married at twelve to Edward II, Isabel of France arrives in England certain that if she is good, God and her husband will keep her safe. But Edward has little interest in his new bride, and would rather dig a ditch or thatch a roof than rule. Worse, his heart belongs to his dazzling favorite, Piers Gaveston, whose rapid rise at court has enraged England’s barons. Isabel quickly learns that being yoked to a weak king is not only humiliating — it is dangerous.

When Gaveston is murdered by the barons, Isabel sees her chance to stabilize the realm and win Edward’s affection. She learns to outmaneuver Edward’s opponents, bears England an heir, and forms an alliance with Roger Mortimer, the capable, ambitious Marcher lord who is everything her capricious husband is not.

But when Edward elevates a greedy new favorite, Hugh Despenser, war quickly breaks out. Isabel begs Edward to exile him, even while knowing it will make Despenser her eternal enemy. She is not wrong. When Despenser returns, he robs her of her freedom, her income, and finally, her faith.

Isabel faces an impossible choice: be the good wife she was raised to be and stay with a husband who let her be stripped of everything — or raise an army with Roger Mortimer and depose her husband, thereby losing her son’s trust forever.

SHE-WOLF combines the intimate medieval POV of Elizabeth DeLozier’s ELEANORE OF AVIGNON and the mounting dread of Maggie O’Farrell’s THE MARRIAGE PORTRAIT with the ruthless court politics of Annie Garthwaite’s CECILY. It will appeal to fans of Philippa Gregory and Elizabeth Chadwick.

[Short bio about me here]

Thank you for your time and consideration.

First 300 words:

BOULOGNE-SUR-MER, FRANCE, JANUARY 1308

The first time Isabel saw her bridegroom, she was reminded of one of her father’s hunting dogs.

From far away, he had looked handsome: tall, broad-shouldered, with sandy waves to his collarbone, richly dressed in a dark-blue surcoat and a cloak that shimmered with tiny jewels.

Up close, he had a long, mournful face with large, downturned eyes. She knew a little about him — that his name was Edward, of course, and that he was the king of England — but beyond that, he was a stranger. A stranger who, in a few moments, would be her husband.

The priest began reciting the vows in Latin. The nave blurred around her. She repeated the words carefully, voice trembling, the ring on her finger cold as Edward slid it into place. When he kissed her, his cropped beard bristling against her cheeks, she felt numb, like someone else had briefly inhabited her body. The congregation erupted in applause.

Edward proffered an arm. As they walked down the aisle, Isabel realized that it was done. She had been promised to King Edward since childhood, and now, at last, she was his.

At the threshold, he offered a wide smile. She drew back, daunted by his happiness when she felt none of her own. Before the wedding, she had worried that she would not measure up. That her husband would find her wanting, and send her back, and she would be humiliated before all Christendom. That even her own father would turn her away.

Now she worried that her husband would like her, and she would have to stay in England forever. She would never come home, and Paris would be lost to her.

She pressed her free hand to her temple. Her crown was far too small, but her father had given it to her that morning as a wedding gift. She would have to endure the discomfort. Just as she would have to endure everything else.

So, I got my first ever full request (cue adrenaline rush), and she wants to have a call. What sort of questions should I be asking? I’ve heard things like, “This is you interviewing the agent” but really have no idea what to do next!

Dear [Agent],

BLUE FISTS. PAVEMENT. DEATH ON TAPE.

Ian’s a scrapper. 5’2” and feral.

Son of a hoarder, he knows how to fend for himself—even when he lands in juvie for killing a classmate with one punch.

Mag’s a ride-or-die. She’s Ian’s seventeen-year-old sister, timid and loyal to a fault. She has no problem duping social workers to paint him as a saint, all while CPS forces her out of her home.

Now, everyone wants her to testify that Ian was always violent. She lies for him, even when they show her the death tape. So, she’s haunted. Ian too.

In juvie, he dreams of cracked skulls and blue fists, then wakes to his bunkmate muttering about ghosts. He declares himself a real-life One-Punch Man and buries his grief in games, trying to charm his judge and fake depression for perks.

All his life, he’s protected Mag. Now, he needs her. But the closer she gets to her relatives, the more the questions rise: Where’s Ian’s remorse? Does he have any?

As the trial uncovers a history of violence, Mag must decide whether to fight for or against Ian.

With his fury turning on her and brutal evidence coming to light, she begins to wonder: is her brother even worth saving at all?

Told in dual POV, WINDPIPE is a 74,000-word literary adult drama in the vein of Bullwinkel’s gritty HEADSHOT and Lamb’s emotional THE RIVER IS WAITING.

Hey everyone,

After almost a decade of incessant editing, I figured it was time to take the next step.

I’m aware 50k is on the low end for adult memoir. Setting that aside, I’d appreciate feedback on the query itself and whether the pitch is clear and the voice comes through.

Thanks in advance.

-----

Dear [Agent Name],

When my business partner asked what I'd do if I had six months to live, my honest answer was: anything but this. I was twenty-three, building someone else's dream, while the life I actually wanted sat on the far side of a wall I'd spent years politely declining to climb.

Then my best friend, a half-feral ex-Medieval Times knight with a gift for talking me into things, dragged me downtown to meet Jess, a tarot reader who seemed to know me better than I knew myself. That night, the three of us, plus a shirtless yogi with a knack for defying gravity and a weakness for petty bread theft, chased a trail of pizza-shaped omens through Toronto until two in the morning. The next day, we were crossing the border in a rented Kia Rondo, following the pizza to California.

FOLLOWING THE PIZZA is a humorous travel memoir that chronicles what happens when a neurotic overthinker hands his life over to a string of absurd coincidences and three people who need even less convincing than he does. Our destination was Mt. Shasta, a mountain that allegedly houses a fifth-dimensional city. This seemed like the kind of claim worth verifying. Along the way, we chanted naked on the Bonneville Salt Flats, broke into a chocolatier's bungalow at her own request, and picked up a fifth passenger none of us could see.

By the third day, I was hearing a voice that introduced itself by name, which I found presumptuous, if not troubling. I also fell for Jess, who happened to be falling for my best friend. The trip was supposed to end in San Francisco. Instead, broke, jobless, and well past the point of reasonable decision-making, we busked outside the Ferry Building for a one-way flight to Maui. 

Complete at 50,000 words, FOLLOWING THE PIZZA combines the self-aware road-trip transformation of Blythe Roberson's AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL? (2023) with the absurd, food-fuelled adventure of Jamie Loftus's RAW DOG (2023).

I’m a writer, musician, avid road-tripper, and co-founder of a digital media agency based in Canada.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Thanks so much for the comments on my first attempt! The main criticism there was that my query was too vague, so I tried to be more specific about the plot here.

Dear Agent,

I'm excited to share WHERE DREAMS BEGIN, an adult fantasy retelling of Sleeping Beauty.

Thea is putting her children to bed when her world literally collapses, the walls of her home blowing away like dust. In an instant, everything she knows is gone and she is somewhere else, surrounded by strangers who call her by another woman’s name. They tell Thea that she is really Princess Aurelia, cursed by a Fairy to sleep for 100 years until she was saved by True Love’s Kiss. They say anything she thinks she remembers – her husband and children, her home – is a fantasy, conjured up by her own mind as she slept. 

Thea doesn’t believe any of this. She is practical, rational. She can cook, navigate through the woods, and treat injuries – skills even Aurelia’s mother must admit her daughter didn’t possess. She knows what’s real and what’s not – or, she thought she did. Because here in the kingdom of Lyramore tea brewed from weeping willow brings a man to tears and all that’s needed to travel from place to place is to step through a mirror, events Thea struggles to accept even as they happen before her eyes. She’s desperate to get back to her family and the small village she left behind, where she never quite fit in but life at least made sense. With the help of a kind prince (who definitely isn’t her True Love), Thea sets out to find the doorway that will bring her back where she belongs. But the longer she’s in Lyramore, the less she can deny the connections between her life and Aurelia’s, and eventually she’s forced to accept the truth: Lyramore is the real world, and everything Thea has ever loved was all just a cursed princess’s dream.

But Thea knows she doesn’t belong in Lyramore either. She can’t make herself fit into the space Aurelia left behind, and she doesn’t want to. She wants her own life back, whether it’s real or not, so there’s only one thing she can do: find the Fairy who cursed Aurelia all those years ago, and make her do it again.

Complete at 107,000 words, WHERE DREAMS BEGIN is a re-imagining of a familiar fairy tale that will appeal to fans of The Summer War by Naomi Novik and A Curse so Dark and Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer*, and to anyone who’s ever thought that Sleeping Beauty’s awakening should be the start of the story rather than the end.

*I realize this title is likely not recent enough (2019), but I'm having a hard time finding more recent (and/or non-YA) portal fantasies that are similar to my book in ways other than just the portal aspect (this one is at least both a portal fantasy and a fairy tale retelling). If anyone has suggestions I'm happy to take them!

have had a few personal rejections on this query. have been posting to qtCritique, which has been super helpful. looking for a little more help :)

Dear AGENT,

After I turned sixteen, the strands of my life began to braid into one another, portrayed as a ginormous rat’s nest. It took a sexual assault by a classmate for the strands to interlace. I learned that I had accepted this path for myself long before I was born. I agreed to it. 

This is a lyrical coming-of-age memoir about a highly perceptive girl in which childhood gifts for seeing beauty, danger, and patterns in the natural world become both refuge and burden after sexual trauma, forcing herself to reckon with memory, faith, the body, and the long path toward naming what happened. 

In my completed 68,000-word memoir ALL MY BIRDS LOOK TO THE LEFT, the narrative focuses on the theft of innocence that persists long after the sexual assault. When I think I have come to terms with my lived experience, I start having seizures and am diagnosed with temporal lobe epilepsy at age twenty-one. 

This memoir is comparable to themes in Chanel Miller’s gritty and beautifully raw Know My Name: A Memoir met with Michelle McNamara’s investigative and obsessive, yet irresistible writing style of I’ll Be Gone in the Dark: One Woman’s Obsessive Search for the Golden State Killer. It is driven by an angry and answer-seeking voice. The very same emotion is buttered thick around survival of the wound, and aches in every word several young men and women can recognize.

I was born and raised in a small town in Indiana without so much as a traffic light. I graduated with a Bachelor of Science in aeronautical engineering and earned my certification in the Cornerstone Integrated Liberal Arts Writing Program at Purdue University. I now work as an engineer at an aerospace company in Ohio that specializes in production of turboprop engines.

I look forward to connecting with you.

Sincerely,

Hi! First time posting here.

I think it'd be best if you read my query first and see my notes later.

-----------------------------

Query: Dear [Agent],

“What would happen to my novel if I died before finishing it?”

Some writers try not to think about this question. Others face it head-on. In my 97,000-word debut thriller novel MR. GREEN, top English student Diana Silva meets an author who wishes he’d prepared better.

In Brazil, returning to her apartment one night, Diana becomes the sole witness to a fatal hit-and-run. The victim’s dying act isn’t to call for help, but to press a smartphone and password into her hands. On it, she discovers three things: the man’s name was Matthew Greig, he was a world-famous (yet incognito) English author publishing under the pseudonym Richard L. Green online, and he left a simple request: if anything ever happened to him, someone should continue his work. The smartphone contains all the information his successor could need.

Diana’s old-sealed passion for English writing is reignited. She secretly takes on the role of Mr. Green, a paper she enjoys at first, but the deeper she dives into Greig’s unpublished material, the more dangerous it becomes. Soon, she realizes someone is watching her, and that Matthew Greig didn’t die in an accident that night: he was murdered because of the story he was telling.
Diana finds herself in a hunt against her new pursuers, who will do anything to stop her from releasing Mr. Green’s final and greatest book. With the help of Gabriel Cavalcante, her "acquaintance" from Computer Science, she’ll learn that, for better or for worse, no one can stay hidden for long in our current digital world.

For this novel, I seek your representation. For comparative titles, Verity (Colleen Hoover) shares a similar opening with my work, although The Girl on the Train (Paula Hawkins) or Yellowface (R. F. Kuang) are stronger comparisons.

I myself am [name], an engineer from Brazil with a lifelong writing passion. My inspiration for this novel, in fact, came while I wrote a different novel and asked myself this query’s opening question. The answer became MR. GREEN, an upmarket thriller that explores merit, technology and legacy (and as a computer engineer, I assure you all of its technological details are accurate and realistic).

[Optional paragraph I sometimes include] I'd also like to clarify that yes, my novel is set in Brazil and Matthew Greig's books are in English, but the story does not revolve solely around Brazil nor does it limit potential readers from other countries (it's in English, after all; I wrote it with the American and English public in mind).

Thank you for your time and consideration. Warm regards from Brazil

-----------------------------

So, the first point I'm worried about is the language: I'm from Brazil and an ESL author.

In my first draft the story took place in the USA, but I've been told there could be many interesting twists if it happened in Brazil instead (and I really liked how it turned out). But in your opinion, does that make the story more interesting? Less? And does the optional paragraph (about language) in the query clears up what's happening? Should I always include it?

As for my credentials, I have none yet (as an author), so I included that paragraph about "writting passion" and my credentials as an engineer. Should I drop it?

And of course, what about the story itself? Does it have a good hook? Is it confusing somewhere?

Thanks for any input.

Hi all.

Writing on behalf of my Dad, who I've been helping with proofreading and editing. So far, he's had 21 rejections, so we'd appreciate your input re the query/cover letter. Thanks so much.

Dear ***,

I am seeking representation for Beyond the Ashes to the Stars, a 114,000-word adult science fiction novel that could be compared with Kim Stanley Robinson’s The Ministry for the Future and Adrian Tchaikovsky’s Children of Time.

In 2318, Captain Jim Champion returns from his final mission to Mars knowing his next assignment will outlast his lifetime. He has been chosen to lead the Interstellar Voyager 1 on a 1,700-year journey to Terra Genesis, a distant terraformable world that offers hope to a climate-battered Earth. But when engineer Molly Champion learns that her partner, Zac Wong, has failed the ship's selection process, they face the prospect of being separated forever. Determined to stay together, they make a decision that will shape not only their own lives but the lives of generations yet to be born.

The self-sustaining vessel carries an entire ecosystem across the stars, from cryopreserved seeds to apex predators, alongside a multigenerational society creating its own traditions and sense of home. Families grow, elders pass on hard-won knowledge and ordinary people learn to build a life in deep space, finding purpose in a voyage that will outlast them all.

Watching over the voyage is AI 2533, designed to safeguard both the ship and its people. As generations are born, fall in love, raise families and die aboard the ship, it develops unexpected attachments to the community under its care. What begins as observation slowly becomes empathy, forcing the AI to confront emotions it was never designed to experience.

As Terra Genesis draws near, the future of two worlds rests on decisions made by generations who will never reach the destination, and on an AI that has developed something it was never designed to possess: empathy.

I am a retired GP with a long-standing interest in sustainability and the consequences of human actions. Beyond the Ashes to the Stars, my first novel, was inspired in part by conversations in my medical practice about climate change, particularly around whether to have children. I am currently working on a companion novel set aboard the second ship in the fleet.

 Thank you for your time and consideration.

I'm a little unsure about my comps. It's tricky to find recent non-romance books, and this story is purely a found family, so I got the best ones I could. This is my first time trying to get anything published.

Dear [AGENT]

THE WIND WIELDER is a dual-POV YA science-fantasy standalone with series potential, complete at 99,000 words. It combines LEGENDBORN’s underdog entering a secret magical society on modern-day Earth with AURORA RISING’s irreverent found family of misfits thrust into a galactic conflict.

What you feel is how you kill.

Aether magic is the most powerful weapon in the galaxy, and the trigger that fires it is emotion. That’s a problem for Simon, who feels nothing. It’s a nightmare for Fidelia, who feels everything.

Simon endures his junior year of high school marked by abuse, bullying, and if he’s lucky, video games. One day a mysterious teacher gives him Aether magic to protect himself, and to recruit him to a cult called the Impelled. Finally able to fight back against his abusers, Simon instead becomes one. Devastated, he joins a secret spacefaring society that protects Earth from the Impelled and promises to teach him the control he needs.

Fidelia was inducted into the Impelled military at the age of nine, surrendering her childhood. Now fourteen, she wants out, an act punishable by death. She says goodbye to her stuffed animals, pulls up her boots, and enacts a daring escape plan, succeeding but at a cost—lighting the fuse to the powder keg that is the galactic cold war.

Simon and Fidelia meet at a space military academy. Their classmates reject them for their ties to the enemy, their unstable emotions, and because they wield the two weakest elements ever seen—light and wind. To prove themselves, they enter a deadly school-wide tournament where they overcome their weaknesses by fighting for each other.

Before the tournament ends, war begins. When a desperate distress call reaches the school that no soldiers can answer, they do. Untrained and barely armed, they'll have to stop fighting their emotions—and start wielding them.

[BIO]

Thank you for your time and consideration.

[NAME]

I am on submission, and my agent told me that I can expect to hear from her in eight weeks. At that point, she will share objections. And if there’s any bites, she will let me know sooner. Otherwise, sit tight for eight weeks. Is that common? I kind of feel like we should have more communication going through this process?

Hello,

I got a very lovely, very lengthy personalized rejection on a full today and I wanted to thank the agent for sending the feedback. When I go on QueryTracker though it doesn't allow me to send any messages as the "query has been finalized"

Would it be weird to send an email to this agent thanking them, as we've only communicated through QT ?

Also, the agent mentioned if I made some significant changes to the manuscript later on then I would be welcome to send it her way again. She also mentioned sending whatever I write next.

I'm just not sure what the etiquette is on this one...

Hi everyone! Thank you as always for your honest and kind feedback! Here’s my next attempt at the query for my book about dead teens competing for a second chance at life.

Dear Agent’s Name, 

I thought you might be interested in ROSES ARE DEAD, a 75,000-word YA speculative thriller with mystery elements, blending the ‘solve your own murder’ premise of Holly Jackson’s Not Quite Dead Yet with the deadly competition of IV Marie’s Immortal Consequences, and the sapphic romance of Tanya Byrne’s Afterlove.

After a fire kills sixteen-year-old Alexandra, her siblings, and the girl she loves, they are given a choice. Return to earth the month before the fire and compete against each other for a second chance at life or stay in the afterlife forever. Only one of them can survive their past. The rest will be erased from existence forever. 

As the Rebirth Trials begin, Alexandra’s second chance is determined by her ability to identify and fix the worst mistakes she made the month leading up to her death; mistakes caused by her raging temper. Each mistake she repairs brings her closer to the truth about the fire. Falling back into old habits means elimination. But someone is rewriting the past to rig the competition. If the culprit succeeds, she’ll stay dead forever.

Alexandra is sure there’s already a grave with her name on it. Her temper has already cost her a basketball scholarship, ruined friendships, and convinced her father she’s a destructive mess. But dying again means losing the chance to redeem herself, and winning means losing her siblings and the love of her life.
As a bisexual graduate of Fairleigh Dickinson's creative writing program, I’m excited to explore LGBT+ themes in this novel. I currently work as a teen librarian at Darien Library. 

The full manuscript is available upon request.

Thank you for your consideration,
Haley Patricia

First 300:

In exactly thirty minutes, my first life will end.  

No one thought to warn me? Seriously? Because, listen, if someone had just come to me with this information, I would have said, “Yeah, that tracks.” I would have skipped this damn party. 
But they didn’t. So as of now, I’m still living my first life in oblivion, the December air freezing my hands off as I practice for a scholarship that won’t matter anyway. It’s my own fault, honestly. I should see it coming. A month of making every bad choice in existence led me here. Led us here. 
   I line up to shoot my twenty-fifth basket for the day. I glance at my phone, propped on the mailbox, recording. It doesn’t matter if I miss now. I can just record again. 
But it will at my game tomorrow. When dad’s eyes are on me the whole time, waiting for me to screw up. 
I’m sorry did I ask for his opinion? Didn’t think so. I glance at my phone again. The evidence that shows I’m practicing. So if I screw up tomorrow, at least I can tell dad I tried. 
“I don’t care.” The words taste funny on my tongue as I bounce the ball harder than I need to. 
After mom died, it was like dad put me on trial. He began policing everything—my grades, how well I played at basketball games, whether dinner was burnt after I cooked it.
I miss the version of him who taught me how to shoot a free-throw.
But hopefully earning this scholarship will smooth things over.

Hi, this weekend I attended a writers workshop. I sent my query to one of the agents teaching. She is a really well known agent. I told her that I took her advise and revised my query based on what she had taught. She wrote back with her version of what my query should look like. It was slightly off from my actual story. So, this version is basically almost identical to hers just with correct story info put in. I feel like having an actual agent tell me what they wanted was amazing. Please give me your opinions as I am deep in the query trenches and need to make this great! Thanks so much for your help. This time I also listed my first 300 words below the query.

Dear (Agent Name),

[Personalization.]

In Aethera, children are not born. They are woven from a living Loom spinning magical threads that run through everyone and everything. Lily was woven in Aethera but grew up in New York City, unaware she had been hidden from the Choir, who have hunted her because she was woven illegally.
 
The Loom grants seventeen gifts, one to each of Aethera's seventeen magical factions, overseen by the seventeen members of the Choir. An ancient prophecy foretells that fire, shadow, and thread will change Aethera for eternity.

When Lily's sister Vespera's power starts to threaten not only Aethera but Earth, too, Lily picks up the mantle and, along with friends from both sides of the veil, returns home to save both worlds and everyone she loves.

[Bio]

Sincerely,

Derek Bellerose

300 words:

Lilly looked up at the sun and the moon as they continued to fight their eternal daily battle over who would get the morning. At six thirty, the block was lit only by streetlights. She stood on the sidewalk outside her building, one heel braced against the cold step, folding down into the stretch she did before every run. The cars along the street sat empty and dark. A glowing thread appeared in the air in front of her face. Before she thought better of it, she reached out, and her fingers closed around it. An electric charge ran up her arm and into her chest, filling her head to toe before dissipating. Her hand hung empty in the dark, her heart beating hard.

For a moment, she was shaking. She turned her palm over, telling herself she hadn’t slept enough. Her brain did strange things at this hour, or maybe she was losing her mind. She ignored the thoughts, started her watch, and began her run.

She took her usual route, west toward the water. Around the third block, she glanced uptown out of habit, at the Empire State Building, lit the same as always. As she passed an alley, hands grabbed her from behind. One clamped over her mouth. Before she could struggle, two more pinned her still. She thrashed, trying to break free. The fingers were cold and soft against her skin. She wrenched her head around, looking at her attackers. All three men were identical. They had short purple hair and black eyes with no white showing. Together they lifted their heads and opened their mouths. Shadow poured from them as black smoke. It gathered into an oval in front of her, a mirror made of shadow. A woman appeared at the center of the mirror. Even through the fear, the face stopped her. It was her own, a few years older, the resemblance close enough to be off-putting.

Hey y'all! I know this market is saturated and everything, but I really am a fan of this story I've written, so I want to at least try. I'm curious to know if this sounds new enough, or if I should continue to try and differentiate it. Thank you!

Dead [Agent],

Rikaln loves the princess. Eldina loves her knight. Neither know it, and even if they did, nothing could be done. It is improper and contemptible among the nobility in the kingdom Edlina is preparing to lead, and she has enough people after her throne as is; and after Rikaln’s many escapades in the kingdom, he has made his own coterie of enemies, all of whom would love to use Eldina against him. Both must simply remain content that they will always have the other, if not in the way they want.

This is quickly changed when a warlock with an unknown magic invades the castle. As Rikaln intervenes, a spell in mid-cast is fumbled and ends up targeting both princess and knight. It’s a transportation spell, and Rikaln wakes up in an underground country, his sudden appearance a political opportunity for many of the vying generals at the top of the caste. Eldina, however, wakes up in the midst of a battle, a soldier in a war she knows nothing about. 

Roles reversed, the princess and the knight now must play the soldier and politician if they ever hope to find each other again. Eldina works with malevolent spirits and shady soldiers to traverse haunted forests, deep dungeons, and plague-stricken conflict in search of her magical assailant. Rikaln, an already silent man, must lie, convince, and research his way back into Eldina’s midst. Though when tensions rise and conflicts inflame, both lovers must face their reality: will they ever make it home to each other? Will their new roles end in death? Or, worst of all, if one of them makes it home, will the other be waiting? 

HEART OF THE MATTER is a dual perspective, 98,000 word, standalone adult fantasy romance. It would be perfect for those wanting a sword-and-sorcery setting akin to The Second Death of Locke by V.L. Bovalino while also featuring the dual perspectives of Immortal Rose by Alexandra Bracken. [Bio]

Hello PubTips! Thanks in advance for your unvarnished thoughts and critique. This is my first time writing a query letter and I'm sure I have a lot to learn.

Dear [Agent],

I’m excited to pitch my adult contemporary romance, THE MIRAGE, complete at 79,000 words. Set on the Broadway stage, it will appeal to readers who loved the behind-the-scenes access of ROMANTIC COMEDY by Curtis Sittenfeld along with the warmth and whimsy of Cara Bastone’s HEARTS OF NEW YORK series.

Sabrina Yazzie’s to-do list is one item long: get on Broadway.

After nearly a decade paying her dues at a regional Shakespeare company, she’s arrived in NYC with the requisite “three bucks, two bags, one me.” (That is, the pitiful savings of a 29-year-old, a place to crash, and a juicy new memoir by Broadway’s own Chrissy Marlowe that she’s already read cover to cover. Twice.)

When Sabrina gets cast in a workshop for a promising new musical, she has six weeks to prove that she’s star material. The show is still being written, which gives her a fabulous opportunity to shape its story, refine her role, and become so essential that they can’t imagine doing the show without her. Then, when The Mirage makes it to Broadway, Sabrina will make it, too.

There’s just one problem. Sabrina’s co-star is Andy Tauben — Chrissy Marlowe’s ex-husband. Chrissy’s book, gossip blogs, and stage door fanatics dispute the finer details, but it’s clear that Andy has broken up shows and marriages with his notorious charm. After their memorable chemistry read, Sabrina is sure of this much: his focus is addictive, his two Tony Awards are infuriatingly well-deserved, and their immediate spark will not turn into a real-life romance. Though he offers to help Sabrina navigate the unspoken rules of Broadway, she knows better than to rely on him.

When an industry-wide shutdown leaves their show in limbo, Sabrina needs to maintain her sanity and her starring role — and learning to trust Andy may be the key.

Like Sabrina, I am a queer woman of color who loves theatre so much that I moved to New York City. Unlike Sabrina, I am an attorney who specializes in [niche and maybe doxxable civil rights specialty :)], and my stage is the courtroom. THE MIRAGE is my debut novel.

-----

*300 word excerpt ^(*288 actually)

I close my book, crush it to my chest, and silently hate Andy Tauben.

Just then, a new awareness prickles at my skin. The man across the train is finally looking at me.

I noticed him as soon as I got onto the 2, three stops ago. This is something I do now, apparently — daydream about every interesting stranger on public transit. Minimally attractive bystanders, beware. But in this man’s case, it’s hard to make out any distinctive features, bundled up as he is. It’s his book that makes him interesting. I think it’s about The Music Man, based on its title, and I want to know more.

I’ve spent the past decade knee-deep in Shakespeare. If I’m going to make it on Broadway, I should probably engage with some serious literature about the next 400 years of theatre. Gossip blogs and message boards probably won’t cut it.

My idle fantasies have gone like this: He looks up. Our eyes meet. I ask about his book, and he asks about mine. Turns out he lives in a beautiful pre-war apartment with bay windows that overlook the park. I spend the rest of winter thawing on his upholstered window bench with a stack of Broadway nonfiction. We discuss the books over excellent coffee and single-origin tea and live contentedly ever after.

I smooth out the crinkled corners of my paperback.

Nat always bristled when I treated books poorly, folded them back on themselves, dog-eared pages. Maybe my stranger across the train feels the same way, and that’s why he’s so stiff in my periphery — I doubt he’ll want to lend me all his books now, if this is how I behave.

But this book deserves it. It’s killing me.