u/Radsmama

[QCrit] Adult Dystopian Romance A LETHAL RELIANCE (92,000 Words/Attempt #2)

Dear [Agent],

Jewel Laurent clawed her way up from nothing and finally had everything she was told to want: a thriving law career, a wealthy, handsome husband, and a child—just as the world began to unravel. When Peak Oil hit, and the industrial order collapsed, a new plutocratic regime stripped women of their rights and concentrated power in a seven-member ruling council. Jewel’s husband’s status buys them entry into the largest of the newly formed city-states, where his everyday cruelties harden into sanctioned abuses that quietly rewrite her life.

Five years in, Jewel crosses paths with Simon Knox, the regime’s brilliant, ruthless technocratic leader, a man who helped forge a world he now despises. Once a celebrated prodigy, he’s addicted to hard drugs and sliding into madness, while partners obsessed with bloodlines and eugenics demand an heir he secretly cannot give.

Under pressure from the powerful men orbiting him, Knox turns his wealth into a weapon, demanding that Jewel bear his child and forcing her to stake her own body to protect her family from exile. The fertilization sessions get off to a rocky start, and two months in, they have still been unable to consummate the agreement. When a grainy photograph of their embrace leaks, her husband’s barely caged fury detonates. Despite signing the contract for her to carry Knox’s child, he beats her horrifically and abandons her to face the conception term alone in a world where women depend solely on men for survival.

Suddenly unmoored yet strangely unbound, Jewel is drawn into Knox’s gilded shadow and the dangerous pull of the resistance, determined to destroy him. As the uprising ignites, she alone stands at the fulcrum, able to end Knox or save him. For the first time in a decade, Jewel chooses herself and the illicit, uncertain love growing between them, wagering that it might be enough to crack a system built on domination and fear.

A LETHAL RELIANCE (90,000 words) is a dark dystopian romance told in dual POV and will appeal to readers of Ariel Sullivan’s CONFORM and Dani Francis’s SILVER ELITE.

Raised in a remote Alaskan village that often felt like the start of a dystopian novel, I ground my writing in that landscape and in careful research. I am currently pursuing a BA in English with a minor in Creative Writing.

Thank you for your consideration.

______________________________________________________________________________
*First attempt was too short, I thought the entire document should be under 300 words. As such, it was vague. Now I worry that this is too long.

* Received feedback that the romance did not seem compelling. Tried to make it clearer why she may choose the villain over her husband.

*Was fortunate enough to present this to an agent in person this weekend. She doesn't work in my genre but was shockingly complimentary about the query. Has also been reviewed by my developmental editor.

*I originally had a comp that was self-published before being picked up by a trad publisher (DAGGERMOUTH). Was told via PubTips that this isn't a good comp, but my editor and the agent I spoke with did not share this view and think I should use it because it's brand new.

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u/Radsmama — 1 day ago

[QCrit] Adult Dystopian Romance - A LETHAL RELIANCE (93k/First Attempt)

Dear [Agent],

After a lifetime of clawing her way up, Jewel Laurent finally reaches the life she always thought she wanted: successful attorney, wife to a wealthy, handsome man, and mother—only for the world to start coming undone. When Peak Oil hits and the industrialized world collapses, a new plutocratic regime rises from the ruins of the Constitution, stripping women of their rights and concentrating power in the hands of seven former titans of industry. Jewel’s husband’s status quickly secures their place in the largest city‑state. The price is her autonomy.

When Jewel crosses paths with Simon Knox, the regime’s brilliant and ruthless technocratic leader, he becomes dangerously obsessed. Using his wealth and power, Knox demands she bear his heir, forcing Jewel to gamble her body and safety to protect her family. But humans aren’t lines of code Knox can rewrite, and their struggles with rage and the ghosts of their pasts expose what remains of love in a world built on domination and fear.

A LETHAL RELIANCE (90,000 words) is a dark dystopian romance told in dual POV from Jewel Laurent and Simon Knox. It will appeal to readers of Ariel Sullivan’s CONFORM and H. M. Wolfe’s DAGGERMOUTH.

While this is my first foray into fiction, I am currently pursuing a BA in English with a minor in Creative Writing. Growing up in a remote Alaskan village that often closely resembled the start of a dystopian novel informs my craft, which I enrich through research into historical power structures, thought leaders, and emerging technologies.

Thank you for your consideration.

****My first try, so be easy on me. I'm proud of the length (I'm a wordy writer), but I feel very insecure about the em dash; it doesn't work as well with a comma there. Maybe a semicolon? Grammar is not my biggest strength. Thanks in advance!

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u/Radsmama — 10 days ago