Is asking someone with autism to "work on their tone" a fair request?
Someone I love just told my level 1 autistic son that they are working on accepting that my son's tone isn't always going to sound appropriate and may come off as rude when he doesn't mean it, but they would appreciate it if my son would work on being aware of his tone and try to make improvements towards not sounding rude. Is this a realistic goal for my son, or does this loved one need to readjust their own expectations? I know that autism is a spectrum and will be different for everyone. I also know that tone is a difficult thing for people with autism. My son is making excellent progress recognizing after the fact that how he said something doesn't match what he meant. Then apologizing if it sounded wrong and clarifying. I know my loved one is struggling with fully understanding autism, but is also worried about the "rude tone" offending future teachers, employers, and friends.
So I ask again, is this realistic and something someone with autism is capable of getting to, or is it a potentially impossible task that is putting unnecessary stress on my son? I plan to discuss it with my son's therapist in the next session but was interested in some community feedback.
Thank you for your thoughts!