am i overthinking?
Hi all, I told myself id never post on here and just seek advice from other peoples posts, but i feel as though i desperately need some personal advice.
A few years ago I dated a guy with a serious PA that he’s had for years which eventually led to us breaking up, and I started dating another guy a couple years later (who I am currently with). I have made it clear from the very beginning that I am totally against Porn and have SOBBED multiple times to my boyfriend about my ex’s terrible addiction multiple times.
My boyfriend has literally 0 imperfections, aside from the fact that he watches Porn. I have caught him a few times watching Porn, one time when we were looking at his phone after we were looking at places to eat and when he went to swipe off the tab there was Porn on his screen. I pretended not to notice but when he went back to his house I confronted him, he promised to never do it again.
Then I had seen that one time after we were hooking up he said he’d be back and he went to the bathroom for about 15 minutes, and when he put his phone down he had the video symbol on the lock screen but it had no title which I assume was Porn.
And finally a few weeks ago I had come back drunk from a night out with my girls and we had started to do things when I got home, but I explained I wasn’t feeling the best and he is extremely understanding, he has never pushed sex or anything onto me so he tucked me into bed and I fell asleep. When I woke up about 30 minutes later I could feel him touching my bum so I rolled over to face him and put the blanket over my head, and could see through the fabric him watching Porn, and I could obviously feel the bed shaking a bit, and I said “What are you doing” and I heard him turn his phone off and reassured me to go to bed. I screamed at him and sobbed on the edge of the bed and barely slept a wink that night. I looked thru his phone and his hidden folder and found heaps of hidden photos of my bum in underwear when laying down that I had no idea was taken of me.
Overall I’m just asking for advice on what I should do? Has anyone had a similar experience because I feel so lost? I have spoken to my mum about it because we are super close and she dismissed it saying “it’s his body”, well yes, but I have set boundaries and he BROKE them, and next to me aswell hurt me terribly. Am I not good enough? I’ve seen people say that Porn has no “emotional attachments” but why be in a relationship if you don’t want that you know? And if Porn is so quick and easy then why isn’t looking at pics i’ve sent you easy too?
Sorry for the long post, any advice would be appreciated! 🙂