Hello, i would like some support or advice on how to control the urges to binge because of stress. In the past few weeks, i've made huge progress of not being able to binge eat. Like, i would only binge once every 1-2 weeks. Back then, its once a week, and now, its turning into once every 2 weeks.
But today, long story short, i cried because of a certain family problem that i can't obviously share. The last time i cried like i did today was about, 4-5 years ago. The crying was intense to a point where i pounded my face into a pillow, kept crying, while holding the pillow in anger and sorrow.
After an hour, i went to the kitchen to splash water to my face and wanted to go grab a glass of water in the fridge, and there i saw some desserts like sweet macaroni salads, snickers, dairy chocolate, and other homemade sweets and store bought desserts. I always have this rule of only getting to eat these desserts after a proper meal, like after eating dinner i have a plate of homemade macaroni salad. Long story short, i couldn't handle the emotions and just, slammed everything i see inside the fridge into a plate, added bread, bananas, sugar, and sweet powders to fuel my dopamine and maximize the discovery of "combinations" like adding snickers to a toast with banana filled with avocado slices and peanut butter, you know those stuff.
While bingging, i am quite in "control" like, im managing to put down foods, stopping, and kept walking in circles to stop. But, the main highlight of this is, my brain kept thinking "i deserve this" "its their fault" and " they made me do this", which, wasn't very logical to begin with and it fueled my bingging further and it used those reasons to continue the binge
The aftermath is that, i managed to stop because of a rule i applied to myself that i stop eating after brushing my teeth, and surprise to no one, i purged some of the food. Now, its quite a miracle i haven't been stressed like i did today and relapsed with a binge but, now i know what can cause me to binge, and its stress like i experienced today.
I want to stop bingging because of stress. I know it'll be hard because some binge eating patterns are difficult to control because its tied to emotions and such but, today, its a problem i NEED to get rid of as early as i can because in a future i know for a fact i'll get stressed alot due to college after summer break ends