Advice Needed: Cousins Trip but they want to bring kids
So like the title suggests I need some advice.
Background: I am in a group chat with all the cousins on my mom’s side of which I (28F) am the youngest by about 10 years. I have never been super close with any of them just due to the age gap and there have been a few spats of drama over the years. But, I finally feel like I am starting to build a relationship with them and would like to have one moving forward.
Current situation: They have been trying on and off for years to set up a cousins trip to New Orleans and this is the latest pitch.
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[Cousin Blue] “Hola!!!!! Ok was talking with Cousin Purple at Cousin Orange’s wedding and we thought it could be awesome to do a cousins trip!!!
What do yall think about getting together for a long weekend - maybe in NOLA since it’s semi 1/2 way and not a beach town?
Maybe like November this year?
Thinking significant others yes kids no? 💀💀👀
Thoughts? 🎉🎉🎉”
[Cousin Orange] “My son goes everywhere with me. Applegirl’s wedding will be the first time I am not with him.”
[Cousin Blue] “lol ok well we can bring kiddos or those who want to can?”
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The trouble is twofold, A) I can’t go this year because I am getting married several states away at the end of October this year and with all the prep trips going into that, I just can’t afford the time or money for a cousins trip this year, especially right after the wedding but I’d love to go another year. And also B) I would love to go on a trip especially with their significant others—I’ve always liked their SOs—but I would rather gouge my eyes out with a spoon than go on a trip with kids involved. I have no relationship with their kids, haven’t met several of them and that is by design. I do not like being around kids so I work very hard to avoid them at all costs.
Now here’s the fun bit: how do I respond to them without blowing up the delicate new relationship I’m building with them??? I’ve never expressly told them how I feel about kids, I’ve just avoided their kids or events where their kids will be like the plague. Also, just for clarity, it is my wedding that my cousin in orange is referring to, it’s a strictly childfree wedding and fortunately there’s been no drama with that. Oh and NOLA would be a flight + rental car for me while everyone else could drive. When they mention how it’s about halfway for everyone, that’s for the other cousins based in Alabama and Texas, but not me based in Washington DC.
TL;DR need advice on how to respond to cousins expressing interest in a future trip if and only if it were adults-only. TIA!! 🙏🙏