r/childfree

I work in a small office and the layout is similar to the office from The Office lol. Anyway there is a co-worker who is 6 months pregnant and she sent out an email asking us not to wear any perfume because strong smells make her "extremely nauseous" and also if possible to use "light or unscented deodorant"

I personally wear a very light fragrance and I honestly don't think anyone there wears any strong fragrance so idk wtf she's been smelling.

EDIT : Some of us use public transport or bike to work which is why perfume and body sprays are very essential to us lol. We also had two other co-workers last year who got pregnant and never complained about any smells which is why this came as a confusion.

To make an incredibly long story short, I'm 34 f, husband is 37 m. We've been married for 10 years, zero kids. I asked about six different OBGYNs for a bi-salp over the course of 5 years and was rejected every single time. Husband eventually volunteered to get a vasectomy so I can get off birth control. It's been 6 years since the vasectomy.

Anyway, we moved not too long ago and I needed to re-establish care with a new PCP. So I get there and fill out all the intake forms and one of them is listed as method of contraception. The options were abstinence, barrier methods, hormonal birth control, "rhythm timing." or none. There was no option for "surgical." So I wrote in next to it "surgical."

Well when I get to the room and the doctor starts going through the papers with me, she gets to surgical and shocked she says "but you're so young! Tell me you haven't had a hysterectomy or something." I literally laughed and said "no, unfortunately they wouldn't let me have a hysterectomy but I wish they would have. I hate dealing with periods!"

She has this stupid ass blank face it just looks at me and says "well then why did you write surgical?" So I said "Oh, because my husband had a vasectomy a long time ago."

This dumb bitch literally looks at me with a stupid ass blank face where it looks like there's not a thought behind those eyes and she says "...Why would he do that?" I felt like being spicy that day so I literally said "...you're a doctor and you don't know what vasectomies are for?"

There was an awkward silence before she sputtered out "well I mean I- I know what they're FOR but- when you're in your 20s and you don't have kids I- but- what doctor would agree with that??" I was sick of this conversation so I just said "a good one that listens to their patients needs."

She looked like I slapped her and just said "Well then. Alright." And we moved on. I finished the appointment. And I will definitely not be seeing her again.

Anything else is just a scam and setting them up for a lifetime of misery. They develop stress and health issues that just feed the system we are currently living through. Most the people I know from college who didn’t have this kind of support from parents, you could tell. They weren’t happy with their lives and they blamed society. When really, their parents should have thought about how to better support them. Instead of just throwing them out into the cruel world without help.

One of my favourite comedy shows ended season 3 with a pregnancy announcement for the side chick of the main character. Probably won’t watch season 4 if it’s all about the tropes of babies and parenthood. I’m just so disappointed.

I saw this on a tik tok post and it made me angry. Some mom was saying how after she had her baby, she grew to hate her dogs, to the point she would get so frustrated with them they would hide from her and be scared. Some comments bashed her, some are in support.

I understand that it's maybe hormone change or whatever, but I don't know why some moms just casually comment how much they hate their pets after having a baby! Your pets were there first. this is one reason I will never have kids. I couldn't even stand the thought of hating my pets after having a baby.

If you are going to be that hateful towards your pets after having a baby, rehome them to someone who will actually care for them.

had a kinda funny encounter at the grocery store yesterday- i was in the cosmetics/hair care area thats sorta sectioned off from the rest of the store, right. im looking at the different moisturizers since ive been running low, and this older lady starts shopping beside me, looking for her own stuff.

people in my state/city are very friendly and her and I start discussing certain brands and what all works best for the both of us, when we suddenly get on the topic of retinol and staying youthful looking as women. this lady is probably in her early fifties at most, and she's just going on about how "youre just a little thing", "wait until you hit your 30s", "this stuff stops working at this age' etc the works. i tell her "im actually 26, so 30 isnt too far off haha" and she's just FLABBERGASTED. starts going on about how she thought i was like 18 or 19, and how your 30s are some of the roughest years cuz of all the bodily changes, and how i should enjoy this youthfulness while it lasts.

so i kinda shrug and tell her, "i'll probably still look like this at 30 cuz I don't have kids."

and the vibe is just immediately off. she makes this face for a moment that seems like an epiphany. and then she kinda just ducks her head, shakes it, and then says "noooo" in a really drawn out, mom-reprimanding-her-kid kind of way.

she turns around and shops in an another area and i know the conversation is instantly over.

im just standing there completely at loss for words because how does THAT somehow destroy an entire interaction. oh you look great for your age, but it must be the skincare. or your diet. or or, or maybe just genetics! not because you don't have kids.... sucking you of your life force...... riiiiiight

God I swear every subreddit that has to do with marriage or relationships is full of women bitching about their partners who wouldn't help PRIOR to getting pregnant and now they're all shocked Pikachu face when she has to parent them both.

Do people not realize how much work babies are or something??? They all act like it's a total surprise every time they're exhausted from running the household while Kyle sits on his ass playing video games and not changing diapers.

Ridiculous.

It's so hard to find friends with no kids. I'm 35 and everyone I know has them. I even have 2 friends I grew up with (both 36) and they're already grandma's.🤢🫠

It's literally the worst thing in the world. I literally get nightmares about it. It's just so disgusting, pure loss of autonomy, leaking out of God knows where and then calling it the best thing is the world, yuck. The whole thing about women showing of their bellies and shit makes me wanna run away (not that I have anything against women that do through pregnancy, you do you, but the mainy I have pure hate for the ones who rub their pregnancy on your face.)

Like WHY in the world would I push myself through 9 months of terror, have my body changed forever (and for worst), and then handle a crying creature that's pure nightmare fuel.

It also seems like my ig knows exactly how much I hate anything pregnancy related that's why my suggestions are FULL of baby bumps 😭😭😭

Years ago, when a good friend had a baby and said she couldn't wait to visit my new home in a different country with “her entire family,” I remember thinking she might have been a particular case of an out-of-touch mom, said “HELL NO” and moved on…

Now, cut to this week, about 5 years after that awful interaction, which I told myself was one of a kind for my own sanity, and I have not one but TWO mothers making me even worse proposals ON THE SAME DAY. Like, what????

I ran a startup, and you might say the horrors start there, but I digress. A client asked me to visit a travel location AS A FAVOR during a meeting.

It is a beautiful place in the Alps that I’d love to visit under normal circumstances, but unfortunately, it’s also a 6-hour drive away. Well… I don’t drive, and my fiancé cannot take time off to drive me there himself in the middle of the week, so I apologized and explained why I couldn’t help at this time. That’s when she asked, “what about I drive us there with the kids then?”.

I’m sorry, but WTH???

You mean your 18-month-old and 8 or 9-year-old (I’m not sure) on a 6-hour car trip up the Alps????

Are you for fucking real rn????

That’s exactly what I said to my coworker and good friend on the 50% of the time her kid is with her ex, to which she replied, “what if I drive us up there instead? I can bring [insert her insufferable 5yo’s name here] because it’s my week, but we can have fun and make it a girls’ trip.”

Again, I’m sorry, but WTH????

Has everyone gone mad????

Why would I do that????

I’ve never before felt like I was being pranked before, and I swear the guys with the cameras are about to jump out any minute now because this can’t be serious, right???? Right????

Anyway, stay safe, people. It’s scary out there.

The moms have lost their minds.

I was out at a very nice tiki bar having drinks with my fiancé yesterday evening when a family sat down in a booth a few yards away from us. Not only did they have 2 babies at a nice tiki bar but they proceeded to change one of the babies on the vinyl booth even though this bar has multiple changing tables in their bathrooms.

god, I didn't realize how common this is. why are parents so fucking entitled sometimes?! I felt really bad for the waitstaff who had to deal with that. not to mention how gross that is.

That is all

For some reason, previous generations act like having kids is mandatory, not a choice. So they cranked them out, suddenly realized they couldn't afford or handle it, and then turned around and told the kids:

"Grow up."
"Stop being so entitled."
"Be grateful for what you have."

Grateful? For being dragged into existence with the bare minimum, then blamed for needing things?

Imagine someone breeds a dog, doesn't have enough food to feed it, and then tells the dog to go fend for itself, or be grateful for scraps. "Other dogs had it worse than you!" We'd call that insane. Maybe we'd call the police. Post that in animal rights groups and see their reactions. But parents do this to human children all the time.

Reproduction is 100% optional. Choosing not to gamble with someone else's life isn't selfish, it's being completely responsible.

Remember: YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE, NOT SELFISH.

I’m 49 childfree by choice, and honestly… I am tired of men and their bonus packages. 😂

Nobody is perfect, and yes, I made a mistake Nothing tragic—I simply dated a man with children. Specifically, two teenagers from the deepest, darkest circles of hell. 😩😂 That experience taught me a very valuable life lesson:

NEVER. EVER. EVER. DATE. A. MAN. WITH. KIDS.

Do I hate children? No. I deal with them from a safe distance. I’ll buy them presents, smile politely but far away thank you very much .

I have two nephews, and thankfully they’re adults now. One is gay and has absolutely no intention of having children, and he admires me for my choices. His brother is straight and also doesn’t want kids. My sister is convinced I somehow “changed their minds.” Girl, please. 😂 I don’t brainwash anybody. They simply watched their father abandon their mother, saw how he treated them, and apparently developed something called common sense.

About 15 years ago, I went to my sister’s house and witnessed firsthand how that man was treating her. My boyfriend at the time—bless his heart, he was the only man I ever dated who truly shared my childfree philosophy—was there too. Sadly, he later died in a motorcycle accident, and I still miss him terribly. 😢 The universe finally sent me the perfect man and then one day he was gone 😭

Anyway, we kicked that man out of my sister’s house. Never heard from him again. Never paid child support either. He simply disappeared into the wilderness of deadbeat dads. 🦖

Then, after five years of being single, I apparently suffered a temporary lapse in judgment and thought, “Maybe dating a man with two teenagers won’t be so bad.”

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Oh, sweet innocent me.

It was hell on Earth.

Those two teenagers had absolutely no manners, treated the house like a landfill, and constantly talked about their mother, who was another full-time headache. And the man? Spineless. Absolutely useless.

I left as soon as I could, taking my sanity and dignity with me, and I have never looked back.

Never. Ever. Ever. Dating. Men. With. Kids.

And you know what? I’m perfectly fine. I feel good, I’m in good shape, I travel, I have amazing friends—and thankfully, they’re all childfree too. 😂 I also have plenty of fur-nieces and fur-nephews because my friends have cats and dogs, and honestly? Those are the kind of children I can get behind. They don’t ask me for college tuition, don’t bring baby-mama drama, and their biggest offense is throwing up on the carpet. 😂

I am NOT lonely. My friends are always around, I travel, I have my freedom, and my life is peaceful.

Then I go on Reddit and read the AITAH, regretful parents, and stepparent forums and sit there staring at my screen like:

“WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING TO YOURSELVES?!?” 😳😂

I see people drowning in exes, baby mamas, baby daddies, custody schedules, child support, stepchildren, five different family dramas, and enough emotional baggage to require a U-Haul.

And then there are childfree women marrying men with multiple children and suddenly discovering that they didn’t just marry a man…

They apparently subscribed to an entire franchise.

Some people have five children, no money, no education, and somehow think adding another goblin will help

Meanwhile, I’m over here with my passport, my friends, my fur babies, my peace.

I chose the childfree life, and honestly? The older I get, the more I realize I made the right damn choice. 😂

You do you. I’ll be over here enjoying my quiet house and wondering why anyone voluntarily signs up for all that baggage.

Peace, freedom, and no baggage drama. Sounds like heaven to me. I relied on an app to assist with my spelling issues due to my dyslexia, but this is my true story.

This is what my mom told me earlier today; that my mindset will change in 5-10 years, it will be late for me to have kids then and I might regret it.

Overall she is supportive, and this was not said in a patronizing manner.

Well, I might regret it but I would rather regret not having kids than regret having them.

That's it, this is all I had to share. :D

edit: I’m 38!

I can barely go get my prescriptions without being pissed that I can’t just go straight home from work 😭😭 I won’t even go to the store if I desperately need something. I’m just like “ehhh it can wait until the weekend” 💀 The only thing I don’t slack on is getting gas because obviously I need to get to work, but…. THAT is lowkey a struggle 😭

I’m deadass acting like I’m late for home… I am though. I will never procreate!!!! On gawd.

So at first my Fiance and I were talking about it and it seemed we were on the same page; cute theme, small gathering and of course no kids.

Then his family didn't want to pay for a wedding planner, they were initially just like 'tell us a number' but they didn't want to pay for a wedding planner. It was already going to be a less expensive wedding because of the size and our personal tastes, I am making my own dress, I intend to do my own hair, nails and makeup. (I know no where I could afford that would do a good job on these things so I'll do them myself.) Well we couldn't get any of the venues we initially were interested in, no one was calling my fiance back and he's having to do all the planning because his job is more flexible during the day.

Well then his Aunt was like let me help you plan it and ofc we were like okay, because nothing seemed like it was working for just us. With her direction we thought we had a venue, food and guest list finalized. Well then his Step-mom heard we weren't inviting kids and she starts in on how that's inappropriate and wrong and that we basically have to invite them. She also took issue with the food we'd chosen and our gently suggested dress code on the invitation to help people avoid the same color as my untraditional wedding dress because I'd prefer if no one else matches my damn wedding dress. So now the guest list is exploding, including children we absolutely didn't want there in the first place, a bunch of his family who I honestly don't even know and he barely knows, our cute small venue won't fit all these people and we have to find somewhere else to host it, and different food and honestly at this point I don't even want to attend it!!!!

Figured I'd post this here because I knew people here would understand moreso the desire to not have kids at our wedding which truthfully kinda snowballed everything else being ruined.

I’m still young but I’ve always always wanted children. I’ve always known I wanted to be a parent. But as I grow older and see how the economy changes, how broken the world is, I’m wondering if I just romanticized everything. My question to you guys is, what was your moment where you were 100% certain that yes I don’t want kids and I’m glad and have no regrets about it.

ok for a bit of context, i was recently out with my friend and we went to a cafe to drink some coffee and catch up​ cuz she studies in another country currently and we're both relatively busy so we don't go out as often as we did before

and while we were just chatting and drinking, we hear this child screaming, throwing a literal tantrum so me and my friend just look at each other and discreetly look at the table near us just to see the mom of the child doing nothing to stop it, she was chatting with a friend and has told the child to "stop"​​​ but a child being a child doesn't simply just stop, he goes back to throwing a tantrum once again until he gets bored and shuts up eventually

like yes, i know it is hard to be a parent and that kids can't properly regulate their emotions but it's your JOB as a parent to control your child and be mindful of people around you in public especially in places like restaurants and cafes, not everyone can handle loud screaming and frankly, it's just annoying​​ 🫩

No, I didn't mishear them.

Some context:

The two hosts of my favourite long running podcast, that's been going on for about 13 years now, have recently both become dads. Now their podcast, which is mostly about news about the video game industry, have been invaded by them telling stories about their children. And these segments run on for faaaar too long. It's a podcast that's partially known for it's long episodes (they regularly run about 3 hours an episode, but have done 5 hour episodes in the past), but since they've had kids, the episode length has been cut down significantly, and a lot of the time is now taken up by them talking about their kids.

They appear to have heard some comments about people not wanting to hear about their kids. And in the latest episode, after one of the co-hosts finished telling their audience what their child had been up in the last week, this is what they had to say:

> Host 1: "Hit the timestamp for end of baby talk for you fucking psychopaths out there. <laughter> For you absolute monsters.

>Host 2: <Mocking tone> "I don't care for the fundamental properties of human life. <laughter> I just don't care for it I just- <mumbles>"

>Host 1: "Do you know- listen- do you know how I- I- my soft cope on that type of thing is- my- my steelman for that person is maybe this is just somebody who's had a rough personal experience that doesn't want- and need to just check out for things related to this topic for a moment"

I find it so incredibly offensive that these people think that if anyone doesn't want to hear about their kids, they assume it's because of a past trauma. That downplays the experiences of anyone who genuinely had a traumatic childhood.

The second host, in a previous episodes, has explicitly stated that he thinks anyone who doesn't think their child is cute has something wrong with them mentally.

I brought it up on their subreddit a while ago, after that comment, and got downvoted into oblivion. Their subreddit is usually open to criticism, and discussions are open, but when it comes to their kids, it seems the majority of the fan base just shuts down any objection.

It's so weird that their content and community is extremely welcoming for the LGBT community, they are massive allies. But when it comes to their kids, they immediately return to a heteronormative child-centric world view.

My apologies for a rambling, vague post, but I needed to get it off my chest somewhere where I wouldn't be shunned for not wanting to hear about kids. And after the last episode, I definitely wouldn't be recommending it, hence why I haven't explicitly identified the podcast in question. It makes me want to stop listening entirely.