u/ph0nese

had a kinda funny encounter at the grocery store yesterday- i was in the cosmetics/hair care area thats sorta sectioned off from the rest of the store, right. im looking at the different moisturizers since ive been running low, and this older lady starts shopping beside me, looking for her own stuff.

people in my state/city are very friendly and her and I start discussing certain brands and what all works best for the both of us, when we suddenly get on the topic of retinol and staying youthful looking as women. this lady is probably in her early fifties at most, and she's just going on about how "youre just a little thing", "wait until you hit your 30s", "this stuff stops working at this age' etc the works. i tell her "im actually 26, so 30 isnt too far off haha" and she's just FLABBERGASTED. starts going on about how she thought i was like 18 or 19, and how your 30s are some of the roughest years cuz of all the bodily changes, and how i should enjoy this youthfulness while it lasts.

so i kinda shrug and tell her, "i'll probably still look like this at 30 cuz I don't have kids."

and the vibe is just immediately off. she makes this face for a moment that seems like an epiphany. and then she kinda just ducks her head, shakes it, and then says "noooo" in a really drawn out, mom-reprimanding-her-kid kind of way.

she turns around and shops in an another area and i know the conversation is instantly over.

im just standing there completely at loss for words because how does THAT somehow destroy an entire interaction. oh you look great for your age, but it must be the skincare. or your diet. or or, or maybe just genetics! not because you don't have kids.... sucking you of your life force...... riiiiiight

25F. I wanna preface this by saying this coworker actively knew about my sexuality prior to any of this. I've brought it up multiple times in the past whenever we talk about everyday society/our lives/etc, so its not like he's in the dark about what I think of relationships and attraction as a whole.

Anyway, he recently confessed to me after work... because seeing the movie Obsession made him feel compelled to do so. (nothing against the film btw, i enjoyed it very much.)

I've been feeling this... UGLY sense of vitriol over the past few days because of his confession. He said that the film made him feel the need to "let me know" that he thinks I'm super pretty and that he's caught feelings for me.

spectacular.

that's super epic dude.

I rejected him obviously, but this is actively ruining my 9-5 because simply having to SEE him at work is now making me irritated. I feel like every past instance he's suggested we do something outside of work, was to butter me up into the idea of dating. I feel like not once did he ever respect my boundaries or sexuality. He thought he was an enigma or something great that was supposed to make me 'realize' what I was missing out on. I'm literally debating on whether or not I should even speak to him anymore unless its something work related.

Nothing would have changed between us if he just kept that all to himself.

hey yall-

does anyone know how to sorta cheer themselves up about pride...?

ya girl is going for the first time this weekend and i can't shake off the feeling that im going to get ostracized somehow. its happened to me A LOT online and i know IRL spaces are different obviously, but the fear is still there. the two friends im going with are lesbians, so i feel like ill stand out even more with my not-so-common flags and garb.

I don't hate sex, but i am very indifferent toward it, which is where asexuality is the sweet spot for me. the label is cozy and simple and i freaking love it here. (im still coming to terms with being aromantic, but honestly i don't think ive ever had the capacity to love someone outside of platonic/familial relationships.)

anyway, point is- i think my purple and green will just put a target on my back that screams "don't talk to me bc im obviously lame and sex repulsed", when thats the farthest thing from me. i consume queer media 24/7 and have like 2 million fictional crushes, trust me i can talk sex and love!!! i just don't want to partake in it IRL!!

hey guys, just looking for advice + tips until my arraignment. trying to stay positive yet realistic about all of this.

I got charged for the DWI of course, and then an illegal u-turn. First offense, DWI listed as common misdemeanor. my whole spiel is below

I'm 25F, and I got pulled over last Friday morning (1:30am). My friend and I were at a music venue and she immediately wanted to go home at about 1. She was pretty plastered, so I figured, eh, I'm in better shape than her, and she lives nearby. I'll take her home. I had 3 drinks between 9-12pm, whereas she had 7. I know that's not an excuse for anything, but I wouldn't get behind the wheel unless I felt pretty damn confident in myself.

We pull out of the venue, get her some food, and I head over to the left turn lane. A cop pulls up behind us as we're waiting for the green. I do a U-turn, and that's when lights flash on.

I pull off into the parking lot off to the right, and he lets me know that I made an illegal U-turn. Okay, that's fair, I wasn't paying attention to the signage at all. Cop shines his light at me, then my friend, sees that she's visibly drunk, and then shines his light back at me again.

I already know I'm cooked when the flashlight comes back to me again, so I agree to the sobriety tests. We test outside my car for about 10 minutes, before he catches me on the finger slide test. I was able to follow along but felt that my eyes were pretty jerky, so that was 100% grounds for failure I'd say. He cuffs me, gets an escort for my friend.

I breathalyze at the station and get a 0.10. That's about all the evidence they need right- except everyone and their mom at the station and the detention center are telling me that I'll probably get let off the hook since it's my first offense? I don't know if that's normal here in New Mexico, but I'm not gonna get my hopes up. I stay in the detention center all morning, get dropped off at 10am at the resource center that same day.

I already plan on calling firms around town, taking advantage of free consultations and whatnot, and basically begging for mercy where I can. The memorial day weekend kinda put me behind on my paperwork but I got my request in for a hearing with the MVD today, and started setting $$ aside for lawyer costs.

Any potential advice I should be aware of before my hearing(s) next month?