u/ApplicationLonely522

Okay so I’ve had emet since childhood, i’m in my mid 20s now and it’s never gone away.

Lately i’ve been rewatching lots of movies from the early 2000s, ones i certainly watched as a child. I loved movies, still do.

However it’s insane how many of them have scenes where someone v*. So many. Embarrassment and disgust in the most exaggerated ways is always linked to those scenes, too. Lots of kids movies have them.

It makes me wonder how much cinema can influence the mind for some of us.

Has anyone else come to this conclusion about themselves as well?

Dealing with severe anxiety is so incredibly frustrating. My family doesn’t suffer from it like I do, and watching them be able to live life without it makes me feel so mentally isolated.

My mind feels like a different planet most of the time. I can’t imagine willingly wanting to do most of the things people do for fun, because nearly everything triggers a somatically anxious reaction within me that sucks the fun out of everything. Maybe not even just fun, but normalcy… it takes away the normalcy of life too which is SO valuable.

It feels like they’ve cracked a code I’ll never get access to. I know everyone has their struggles, but why does that sentence still feel so isolating?

I’m struggling with how to cope with this reality, and accept that the people in my life will never fully understand. Sometimes I feel so judged and deeply misunderstood, despite doing anything I can to communicate my struggles.

They say I’m missing out on life by protecting my peace, and don’t understand that my life depends on protecting my peace. They make me feel guilty and shameful for struggling thinking that will help me heal from it somehow.

How do you guys cope with the mental isolation? I wonder at times if I should give up attempting to communicate with people and not set myself up for disappointment, stand firm in my boundaries, and push through the hard times, and suffer quietly. That seems easier said than done and unsustainable… but feels like my only option sometimes.