I haven’t had a true friend since i moved cities. I must be honest, I don’t have a bad life overall, I sometimes find someone to hangout with during weekends, this is the first year of school of my life I’ve actually made any “acquaintances” and people i can talk to in class. I’ve moved and everything is apparently better in the big city but I’ve lost my friends (a year and some months ago) when i moved. My (past) best friend (we were friends for years and years and supported each other always, we had a really strong bond) and I became really different people growing up, he was way to full of hate so we started being much less close to the point of having a big fight, where all of our friends chose him because of me changing cities.
The only connections I seem able to have aren’t strong at all and im nothing more than an extra “alone” friend. I am trying to strengthen the bond but it’s so hard and unnatural. Today i saw a post of my past friends all together hanging out with a girl who hurt me in a way I cant even express (false gr*pe allegations and months of manipulation and abuse) I’ve been stopping having any kind of social interaction unwillingly, it’s becoming always harder to talk, see, be in the same room as, anyone i know.
I don’t even know what i expect from this post. Its a random account on a mail rarely use. I have written all of this text while extremely detached so im unsure it will even be comprehensible. Ive not even said so much stuff which is affecting me so it may seem a bit random to have such a reaction to something so “minor” but i really needed to get it out and maybe talk with anyone. I don’t even know anymore i just hope someone could give me advice on how to feel like before: happy, capable of dealing with probles and motivated. Said all this I really hope for the best and will check this post tomorrow again to answer any questions if there are any from anyone.