r/helpme

Hello everyone. I'm 22 years old, and I live in a city and country I don't want to live in. There are serious threats to my life here, and things are getting worse with each passing month. I want to move to another country; I've already bought tickets, sorted out the paperwork, and prepared myself. I've already rented a hotel and will be looking for an apartment. I also have some income from home that will be enough for a normal life (if I find a reasonable price). But the problem is that I'm really scared. I've already flown once, and it wasn't the best experience. I'm scared to leave, I'm scared to leave my cat and my parents here. But living here is also very stressful for me. What should I do?

my soon to be bf just told me tonight that we wants to get back into contact with his exes (he had a mutual break up with both of them) and they both live far. apparently one lives in another country while the other lives in another state.

i told him how i felt (basically that i didnt like it at all). and he still asked me for me to trust him.

should i leave before we become bf/gf? i like him a lot and idk. he told me that if anything happened he wld ahut it down (like flirting). but rn we live apart and idk what cld happen and ik if he cheats id leave anyways. but im hurting bc he didnt listen to me and how i felt abt the whole thing and the fact that i hate his decision. but at the same time we r both grown and it ia still hia choice and decisions but its hurting me so bad rn. and i wanna leave him but at the same time i rlly like him and i cant wait to be his gf.

I've only started posting yesterday in a different subreddit because this is really the end for me. My best friend, who I've known for the better part of 10 years, graduates soon. I plan to end my life afterwards.

We should be graduating together. Instead, she is, and I'm not, because in middle school i made a choice to start being difficult. Ruined my life. Haven't been in school since then, wasted away alone in my room, doing jackshit. Everyone gave up on me. Nobody forced me to do anything, nobody helped, I isolated myself for years. I'm 18 now and all that time i spent thinking about killing myself has finally reached its tipping point. Everything in my life has been passively going, and now I'm making my decision.

Can nothing really be done? Did I truly ruin my life before it even started? The most I've done in the past eight years was get my government ID at the beginning of this year. I've been contemplating ending things after i turned 18 and reality really started setting in. Figured i'd try to post and see if literally anyone thinks there's hope. I don't think there is. I plan to od sometime soon after giving my friend and parents one last good memory.

How can i fix my self

Me and my parents always argue

When im alone i always think of it and hate it

And when i talk to them i always sound so rude and the way i talk is just so rude

So they get mad at me again and the cycle continues

Please i just want to live in peace how can i fix this problem of mine and have a good relationship with my parents

At first i thought it was about my sleep schedule because my sleep schedule is messy as hell and if I get woke up in a bad time I'm in a bad mood now i fixed my sleep schedule now it's about how i speak to them when i talk to my friends or with other people my parents says im quite polite but when i talk to them i always sound so rude much like angry to them i wanna know why too and change it tbh im quite angry for some personal reason and some light reasons but i really wanna fix this i don't wanna grow up like this im still a teenager

Are there any tricks to “erase”/ forget any bad memories?

I'm struggling with some things and I don’t have anyone to talk to about them. I wish I had a friend I could tell everything to. I have friends on irl, but I'm not close to them. I've tried finding friends online, but most people disappear after a day or two. Honestly, I don't know what to do

I have this strong urge to just off myself every few days after a few hours it just goes away and I'm back to normal.

I don't know what to do about it.

I really just wanna feel normal all the time or even if I feel sad i don't want to spiral myself into this suicide stuff.

My boyfriend can’t spell or say my name correctly, I’ve tried drilling it into his brain or plain leaving him to figure it out for himself. I usually go by a nickname, but shouldn’t he still know? And we’ve been rocky for a while, he keeps telling me what my future is going to look like instead of asking me. 6 months ago I expressed I didn’t see the relationship working out because I want to have kids later and he doesn’t, then he miraculously changed his mind and wants to have a kid with me when we’re older… suspicious right? He wants to travel the country for his job and I want to eventually settle down. He says being in a little bit of debt isn’t bad and we can pay it off but I simply don’t agree because we’re both going to college pretty soon and the college he wants costs a pretty penny and I’m going somewhere not as expensive and we would essentially share the debt if we got married. What should I do?

Help I’m 25F) am one of five siblings in a close family, and my sister (27F) has always had a pattern of conflict where she forms very fixed interpretations of situations and struggles to shift from them, even when multiple people explain things differently or apologise for impact.

Over time, this has created a family dynamic where people are have to submit to her and worship her and be a yes man and mould themselves to fit her If someone doesn’t want to, she tends to cut them off or reframe them as the problem and make lies about what they did to her and sob stories. This has happened across different relationships in the family, not just mine.

In the past, I’ve often tried to act as a peacemaker since me and my brother are good at acting like yes man, smoothing things over and worship being her just to keep the relationship so my mum doesn’t see us all separated with her, even if I didn’t fully agree with most of her lies she tells about other siblings and the outside world. Another sibling has also been in and out of this dynamic depending on whether they align with her narrative, while the older and younger sibling has also been cut off for not worshipping her.

What’s been difficult is that the pattern doesn’t really depend on what is actually said, but how it is interpreted and retold afterwards. It creates a situation where some of us end up trying to manage our behaviour and communication carefully just to avoid becoming the next target.

Recently, the situation has escalated further because it is now affecting her marriage. She is in the process of separating from her husband, who is emotionally exhausted by the dynamic and feels consistently misinterpreted and blamed. From what I’ve seen, a lot of the conflict centres around intent being reframed as harmful even after clarification, which then becomes a fixed story.

In a recent argument between us, I tried to de-escalate in real time, clarified my intent, and apologised for how something came across. However, she maintained her interpretation, the situation escalated significantly, and she is now saying she is cutting me off. I just couldn’t keep my mask on because I wanted her to know how she hurts everyone… bad idea.

What’s been hardest for me is that I now feel like I’ve moved from being someone who could mediate and “stay in” the family system, to being on the receiving end of the same pattern. That shift has been quite emotionally heavy because it feels like there’s no stable position in the dynamic. I feel sorry for my mum who she will never agree with her daughter and has to worship her daughter with all her abuse and rudeness and lies without us there to comfort her and now we are most definitely all separated.

I feel stuck between trying to support my family, not worsening the situation, and also protecting my own mental health in a system that feels increasingly exhausting and unstable.

I guess I’m trying to understand:

How do you deal with someone who consistently locks into a narrative and doesn’t shift even with apology and clarification?

Is disengaging instead of trying to resolve things in the moment actually healthier in situations like this?

How does she hate everyone and how my mum has to deal with this mean inhumane girl with a smile on her face when she’s separating the family

How do I protect my mum who’s just forced into this narrative and abuse verbal abuse and mental health who can never tell her daughter the truth about herself and just upset that she separates everyone because she doesn’t wanna not be a mum to her daughter?

And how do you protect yourself in a family system where people move in and out of “acceptance” depending on alignment with one person’s version of events?

I thought I was bisexual

When I was in class 11th I met a girl and we became bestfriend and I never felt such friendship before and we shared our secrets that we didn't tell anybody else , like this very strong friendship. She introduced me BTS . And when we're in class 12th I got to know she is bisexual . At that time we used to ship Jungkook and Tae from bts and we used to consider ourselves as them . Though I looked at this very casually as friendship. I used to get jealous if she prioritised anyone else than me and i wanted only to spent time with her alone .But then I started to think she might like me and is attracted to me . Then I also started wondering maybe i like her . At first she used to hold my hand i used to think as friendly affection but then I started to think maybe she liked me but I used to enjoy her attention. She used to suggest me manga and dramas where there were same gender couples. And i would also think maybe she thinks of us like that . Then when i used to see any such couple online in any drama or movie I used to think maybe it is us . I used to imagine her also in romantic songs but if i ever imagined kissing i felt uncomfortable and wrong . I never found her physically attractive and never wanted to have anything sexual . Sometimes i used to imagine her in love songs but it after sometimes felt uncomfortable and weird then I stopped. And then I got crush on a boy, who is my current boyfriend and we are in a happy relationship . I am straight and i also considered straight myself straight before also cause I only got crush on boys . And even now if i imagine being with a girl it grosses me out . I never got crush on my friend and never find sexually or physically attractive. But what was in that phase is making me overthink . Was I bi ? What do you people think .

31F. Four jobs in five years. Every time the same arc. Excited for 3 months. Fine for 2. Dread by month 6. Gone by month 8. Different industries, different managers, different work. Same outcome. I'm not getting fired. I'm choosing to leave. But I can't explain why and it's starting to scare me. I just can't get myself excited about work.

i've tried different industries, going freelance but it just doesn't seem to work. I know it's not laziness but my motivation slowly fades as the job gets comfortable.

I have not celebrated my bday in over 30 years because no one ever remembers it. What's some stuff I can do on my own?

I heard from one of my friends that most of my friends are talking bad behind me, he asked me if something was going on with me and then but I just said "nah they're probably just joking" but I still have doubts if they were or not. And he also said one of them was calling me by a name which I really really hate, because the nickname leads back to when a friend of mine said I should come to his birth day celebration, and the whole celebration they just kept making fun of me using that nickname they came up with until I cried, and they still haven't stopped until this day. So that's why I don't like when they call me that, now going back to the main point. After finding out that most of my friends have been talking bad about me behind my back, I felt absolutely lonely, because I never thought this day would come when friends I used to know since elementary school would make fun of me now. I don't know who to talk to about this because I'm not close with my family members either, and I can't talk to my other friends about it because I'm sure they won't care at all. But if you read until this point, I really appreciate it because at least I can tell someone about what I feel

*context*

Some time ago, partner got hair done and coffee after with hairdress who happens to be coworker. None of that information was relayed and i happen to find out bc they were just talking about their day. Mind you this is after i constantly seen tbe coworker texts keep popping up. This left me uneasy bc weather it was on purpose or not (they didn't think it was important information to tell me), it feels like the trust was being chipped away.

Fast forward to recently, i find something of the coworker in partners car. Partner says they were discussing a mutual topic of interest and nothing more. Again, information partner did not think was relevant to relay. I express same feelings as last time as what they might not think is important information, is. I trust my partner and we are great the rest of the time. But the lack of transparency leaves me wondering what else is not being brought up that should. They dont make me feel bad for expressing these things and says they understand what needs to change. But i fear we will be back here again, and i dont think i can handle a 3rd round of secrecy. Purposefully or not, it feels like secrets being kept

Im scared of what to do next I already tried contacting a homeless shelter near me but im so scared. My family are kicking me out of the house because they hate me and Idk what to do.

My dog has been out for a walk and slept this morning as normal, just come to check on him and his stomach/backside is sort of pulsing? Anyone know what’s causing this or why it’s happening?

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I (38f) am in a really tough spot right now and just need a safe place to vent, get advice, or hear from anyone who has survived something similar.

I have a 10-month-old baby girl and I am currently 32 weeks pregnant with my son. I have been trying to find pathways to get a reliable, safe car so I can work, but my credit is ruined from a past marriage where my ex-husband's missed payments were documented under my name.

The hardest part is that I am working through a case with CPS right now. To be clear, I have been 100% clean and sober since November 3rd, 2025. (Four days after I got clean, I found out I was pregnant with my son). CPS originally became involved because of a relapse after my daughter was born, but right now the pressure is because I am struggling to find work. It is largely because I don't have a safe vehicle to transport two babies under the age of one, and it is incredibly difficult to find anyone willing to hire a woman who is 8 months pregnant.

I am so terrified that CPS is going to use my current lack of employment and transportation hurdles as an excuse to keep my daughter away from me or give her to someone else. I just need someone to point me in the right direction of programs, non-profits, or consumer resources that can help.

I have 8 weeks left before my son gets here. I am 100% not ready, and I have absolutely nothing for him yet. This isn't my first rock bottom, and I know I have the strength to pull myself out of this because I’ve done it before. It’s just not happening fast enough, and the clock is ticking.

I just want to protect my babies. There has to be structural assistance or community programs out there for situations similar to mine. I am fully prepared to work from sunup to sundown, I just don't really know where to look. I was hoping someone on here could share some known organizational resources or advice on how to navigate this specific barrier with a caseworker. I just want the chance to give my babies the life I never had.

I can’t stop myself. I’ve lost all motivation. I’ve turned into a hedonistic pessimist. I drink energy drinks all the time and eat what I want when I want and however much I want. I’ve gained 50lbs in like 6 months. 170-225lbs. I’m 5’10. I used to be in great shape and have a decent outlook on life but something happened (idk what) and now Idgaf anymore. I can’t stress to you guys enough how literal I’m being. Apathy by definition is my experience in life for the last 6 months or so. Everyone sees it. Everyone is wondering and asking “what’s wrong” but I don’t fuckn know. Then of course me being the immature ahole I am…I get snappy with whoever is asking what’s wrong bc it reminds me of the horrible person ive been the past half year as well as reminds me of the fact that i have no idea why im being the way im being. If you strangers knew anything about me the first thing that would come to mind is you would know I have an answer/solution to everything. Not having an answer (especially a logical one) kills me inside. I know WHAT to do but I give up under the slightest stress. Eg Recently I was gonna begin a fast for a few days and within like 15 hours I said eff this and drank some coke. I get these random outbursts of motivation and I’m on top of the world but then everything comes crashing down. I legitimately feel hopeless at this point. Best way I can explain it is a midlife crisis but at 25 years old. Existential crisis I suppose. Maybe I should move out. (Yes I live with my g parents still but they said they like me being there. Honestly idk if this is good or bad for me).

I could go into more detail but I fear annoying or running you off. Thanks.

hey everyone,

pretty much what the title says. my boyfriend and i have been together since sophomore year of college, so almost two years now, and this whole mess just blew up. he’s always been very protective and loving to me. he makes me feel safe and cared for most of the time, but he also has a pretty bad temper. in the past year, he’s gotten physically rough with me a few times when he gets angry, like grabbing me too hard or shoving me during arguments. it’s never been a full on beatdown or anything, but it’s scary and it hurts, and i always end up making excuses for it in my head.

on mother’s day i went on his phone to set up a dentist appointment for him since he’d been putting it off. instead i opened snapchat and saw messages from this girl. i’m not going into all the explicit details, but basically he’s been cheating on me with her for the past six months, according to what he admitted. we never really go on each other’s phones because i respect privacy and i’ve always trusted him, but now i just feel so betrayed and stupid for not seeing any signs sooner. i haven’t told my mom and dad yet because they’ll completely freak out and probably make things worse. i don’t think he’s told his parents either.

he keeps saying he wants to work this out, that it was a mistake and he’ll do whatever it takes to fix things. but i’ve always had zero tolerance for cheating. the problem is i’m terrified of being alone again. even though i have good friends and a decent support system, the idea of starting everything over, downloading dating apps, going on dates, building trust with someone new, it all just feels exhausting and scary. i don’t know what to do and that’s pretty much why i’m here. any advice would help. thank you.

17M here so basically I've decided to stop watching p○rn because i didn't want to make my brain dumb anymore. But man because of watching that shitty thing my mind doesn't feel like me anymore, whenever I see a girl, I feel like a b¡tch because even if I don't want to, my eyes roll onto their privates and I don't want that to happen but it's not in my control, I feel TRAPPED in don't know what to do. Today when I met my good friend for the first time irl after chatting online, my eyes rolled there and I was trying to control it so hard, eventually I did but just even for once that feeling made me regret myself, what have I done? Have I become a jerk myself? I don't want to become one i don't want my friend to think that I am bad, I don't want this to happen again, I feel so miserable I don't want to but I can't control it PLEASE HELP HOW DO I CONTROL IT?

I feel like crying because of my disgustful habits that I've grown, I don't want to lose my one good friend whom I talk to alot because of some temporary desires, deep down I don't want all this i don't want all this, I want all this to stop! THE GUILT IS EATING ME RN I can't help with it, she knows that I am a good guy, but just one incident will ruin everything forever.