r/helpme

My husband and i got married last month. i have lived with my grandma for 8 years and he has lived with his dad for 3. weeks are looking for a place to live because we are having a baby early next year. He has 4 big dogs and i am deathly allergic to dogs, so it’s been made pretty clear i can’t live with them and they will have to stay with his dad. I have two cats who are truly my only source of happiness in the world. He was never against it but we got into an argument and now he’s saying if his dogs can’t come then neither can my cats. i can’t have dogs in my home for medical reasons, he always said he loves my cats but out of spite he’s telling they have to stay. i don’t know what im supposed to do as my grandma is getting older and i don’t trust her to watch them on her own. i hate feeling like i have to choose being miserable one way or the other and it just doesn’t seem fair. what should i do ?

okay this is really embarrassing but genuinely how do people kiss and actually enjoy it? i wish they taught this in sex ed class. everyone always says it’s one of those things that just come naturally but it’s not. i find kissing HORRIBLE, especially making out but i know that i am the one who made them such bad experiences. and i everyone seems to enjoy kissing and it seems to come naturally to everyone else but i just don’t understand HOW??

now im so embarrassed whenever someone tries to kiss me, i always just avoid it because i don’t know how to do it!

I’m 18 and had sex with my boyfriend (19) earlier today. We used protection (I’m in my violation phase but it says my prediction date for ovulation is Saturday). After we had sex, I found out he initially put the condom on inside out so he took it off and flipped it the right way and we had sex. There will have been precum on the outside of it (this went inside of me) and I’m terrified of getting pregnant. I will be taking the morning after pill tomorrow but don’t know how effective it will be given that I’m in my ovulation phase. Do I just take it and wait for my period (due on the 30th)??? Very scared rn and need answers

EDIT: I cannot tell my parents, they’d be so disappointed in me

I (23f) accidentally woken up by an elbow to the face from my partner (23m). He thinks I'm being dramatic for the way im going about what happened this morning. But without context how would you react if you woke up to an elbow in your face from your partner? For context there's a significant bruise on my nose and I heard a crack when it contacted. WWYD?

i am actually begging for help on this, I am scared to sleep anymore, they are feeding into my ocd and i have hardly slept, i am surviving off coffee and energy drinks, had 2 300mg monster coffee energy drinks today and i can still feel myself dozing off, I am having trouble remembering the days, and I am worried it will affect me worse if I dont get some type of sleep soon.

There is so much stuff happening in my head, i unfortunately live in my head, a better way to put it is im trapped in my head. I really need help, not just want, i need it, i feel like this time im actually on the edge..I feel so bad everyday, both physically and mentally, in the last year or two there haven’t been a day when nothing hurt or nothing about my body and how i feel bothered me, there haven’t been a day when i dont feel doom. But the thing is, i cannot even bring myself to at least write out how i feel, like my problems, the stuff that i need help with. I cant say it out loud, cant bring myself to write it out. I dont know why, it feels like i have no energy to do that, but i feel like at this point of life i am just so close to hitting the rock bottom, that i am in need of help, but if i cant voice what i need help with, im not going to get it, but i cant voice it..its just a continuous loop from which i cant find a way out. (Sorry for incoherent writing i just feel horrible my brain is giving out thats what it feels like)

Why am I always so angry and irritated I have so much anger inside me for no reason and I can’t stop it everything and everyone pisses me off like I am such a nice person I help everybody like basically im normal with everyone but there is this anger for no reason and it mostly eats me alive when I’m alone there is also another feeling it’s Kinde sadness but in anger form too if anyone understands please help me stop this

I'm really concerned for my gf and I don't know how to express it to her. She doesn't go outside, and last time I talked to her about it, I came off rude because I'm not the best at expressing my emotions. When I talked to her about it, she used the excuse that she 'went outside yesterday' (I'm assuming she was implying that makes it fine if she doesn't go outside much?? Don't know why she really said that). She even said she would walk my dog with me every morning and afternoon, but so far has not done it or used excuses not to. (Example: she didn't take a shower yet, but when she said that I said it's better to take a shower after the walk, but she still said no)

I have no idea what to do and how to bring it up without her shutting down.

If anyone has tips, I feel I should mention that she gets overwhelmed with repeated company, even with me. (Like if I slept over at her house for two days, hanging out afterwards is a no-go) it even makes me hesitant to want to go on dates with her.

We are both minors, if thats important. (Not saying the specific ages for privacy)

Does anyone have any idea what to do?

Edit: for anyone wondering, I'm concerned because I'm aware that going outside is good mentally and physically, and since my gf doesn't get outside much, I'm worried the isolation will cause depression and heighten anxiety when going outside.

Im going to go into a rant, i'm ending school in two years and still dont know what to do with my life, I can't even cook or do certain things for myself.

I also got into a spiral of what job I want to do in my life, I been thinking about this for around a month and for the past 4 days not been able to sleep properly. Im having such bad anxiety and need to sleep with my parents.

I dont know how to start sleeping by myself again and if should ask someone for help of regulating it. I already told my friend and parents the issue about not knowing what secondary school i want to go to or what i want to study.

Also i'm concerned if im going to fail school or not, I'm also worried about my study method and how it will work in upcoming years. I use this method for all subjects except for math and calculating,

so i read the word for the material over and over in my head till i remember it, then try to think of something else or forget it, then remember it again. If i dont remember it, i study it again and if i do then i add more words on and on and on.

Then after i study it all, i quiz myself during it and finally recap what i studied in the way im explaining it to myself.

Uhh i use this method for weekly tests since we have them like few days after the teacher annouces them and yeah. I forget the material afterwards. Now i'm asking, for all people who had problems with cooking or basic life skills, choosing what school to go after elementary, what job to do in the future, how to study? Where are you now?

Did any of you drop out of school or not? How did you study in secondary schools and colleges? Did you forget the material or still remember it? Did you change your career paths or how did you handle school? Did you fail elementary school or not? How does secondary school work?

I'm just so anxious and been for the past month but its gotten way worse for the past 4 days, i havent properly sleept these days, i did but needed to sleep with my parents and it isnt easy to fall asleep.

I just needed to get these thoughts out of my head, i really dont know what even my interests are. I just know that i like biology, study of humanity and thats it. 😅 and uhh im turning 14 soon...

I just feel like I’m on high alert all the time, but I’m supposed to be going on holiday to sweden in september and I don’t know how I’ll cope. I feel really guilty about it because I don’t want the holiday to just be me panicking in a hotel room with everyone miserable all the time, and what if it happens at the airport and we miss our flight?

I just can’t cope with life anymore- I just get so anxious about everything and then I worry about being anxious because it can’t be good to just be scared all the time. I can’t even tell my mum all the time because she’s getting anxious now as well and I can’t keep just shoving my burdens onto her because it’s not fair on her- she does so much for ne and I love her and I don’t want her to be stressed about me al the time

please someone help, I’m just panicking and I can’t stop and I don’t know how to. I’m doing breathing and it’s helping a bit but everything is just so much.

hello im 14 almost 15, english isn’t my first language but i’ll try my best. For context, i’ve been sa’ed everyday during the first 2020 lockdown by my older brother. I’m now in severe depression and actively suicidal. Only a few years after my abuse before even being 10 yo i fell into lust and it quickly became an addiction. I completely stopped a long time and recently got into it again. But now every time i do something i disgust myself so bad that i end up having huge panic attacks. I feel so dirty. Last night i promised myself to never do anything again but i genuinely know i won’t be strong enough. I’ve never told anyone about this addiction so i feel horribly alone.
Tbh all i want from this post is to be encouraged but random people online so i can maybe start quitting lust stuff.
I probably look miserable i’m sorry, have a good day.

My (24) mom (53) had to move out of her apartment due to not paying on time (property management agreed not to put an eviction on her record). She had to move with her 65 year old fiancé and two small dogs into a hotel room while she looks for another place. A few days later, their car broke down and is 4k to fix (more than it is worth). She is currently using everything she had for a deposit on this hotel, and now has nothing. Her belongings and furniture are at a friends house and a lot of it is in the broken car. Shelters all have waiting lists and she is running out of options. She currently gets unemployment but needs to find a job. I am very worried about her. I talk to her on the phone and she does not sound the same at all. Every resource I call they say they are full or there is nothing they can do. She is located in Northern California. I can’t take her in and I am hesitant to help her financially, since I have already so many times before and it never helps in the long run. She has struggled with gambling and alcohol addiction in the past. It absolutely kills me to think about her being in a shelter or on the streets, and I am worried for the dogs. What do I do?

My girlfriend is almost 3 days late for her period and we just started being sexually active and it’s actually freaking me out 🥹 we’ve used condoms every time but sometimes I don’t stop after I finish. Should I be worried

(19F) I am a super easy person to talk to and I make friends so fast, but I can never keep one. They always end up doing me horrible in some way or just stop speaking to me. I love to be there for people and be the shoulder to cry on, but looking back I’ve never ever had someone do that to me. Ill have a best friend and they’ll end up ghosting me for a boyfriend, sending my boyfriend nudes, just entirely stop speaking to me, talk crap about me, the list genuinely goes on and i can confidently say that i have been nothing but nice to everyone and cant keep a friend. But then i feel like the evil girls have one million friends and everyone loves them. Am i missing something? Do i even make sense? My mom always told me i was born with the curse of being pretty but i dont even think its that

I 16 F, have had a very rocky past with my mother, 32 F, and recently I have known for about a year or two that she has had a illness that we don’t know and don’t know a cure of as what she has told me I’m not trying to attack my mother, but my mother and I have had a very, very rocky pass and she is not the most reliable source and she had one of her lungs removed because they kept filling with fluid. I thought it was ammonia, but I’m not sure we had to talk yesterday and she sent me down and she’s already bought her tombstone and her casket and already paid for all of the funeral expenses and dinner as well for visitation of her body. She has mainly not been in my life because she has also caused that and I have tried to build a relationship and I feel like I will be missing more of what could’ve been than what was. She doesn’t have much time it could be tomorrow it could be a week. It could be a year. I have a very big pass with mental health issues and I’m not sure how I would carry myself or deal with the grief of my mother because at the end of the day, that’s my mother and I’ve always longed for her relationship and love. I’m making a list of the things I would like her to do when she passes and as well, as what are some things that you would’ve wished you could’ve asked your parents for that would’ve helped you a long life and dealing with grief. Im asking for a list and not just “time” “picture etc, i want big ideas, i wanna go wedding dress shopping with her before she passes, i dont know when she could pass, could be a year could be tomorrow, i really want someone to help and understand me. Im begging for help and ideas from my mother, I desperately wanna make this loss easy but also cope in the way i need.

Can someone please tell me how therapy helps ppl with suicidal thoughts like everyone tells me to go get help but I’m more terrified of speaking about it than death itself!

My girlfriend (20F) and I (23M) have been dating for 2 years. We started having sex only 8 months ago (she didn't want to have sex till we reached our one year) end ever since we started she's been acting strange she constantly drinks now uses her prescription meds to get high cuts herself even tho she was clean since we met she keeps waking up screaming she used to have those but they increased noticeably and during sex she goes blank and numb her eyes just go empty she doesn't make any sounds I try to talk to her ask her what was wrong ask if it hurts or stuff but she doesn't answer and gets mad when I try to stop the sex she yells at me saying she wants to continue (she gets really mad ) when it gets to that point i try to leave the room let her be but then she cries and panics begging me to not go that she needs me she has non epileptic seizures (were still not sure if that's really what those episodes are about but they don't show up on EGGS she has other symptoms too a whole lot of em ) and when she panicks like that i get worried about her having another episode (one time after i left she cried herself till she fell asleep and had 5 back to back episodes which causes her a lot of pain) when that happens we usually cuddle for a while then she asks to go back to fucking and cries if i don't say yes so we usually end up having sex again during those she clings to me insists on riding me and cries while telling me she loves me she feels nothing without me etc. And I try to act like I'm not enjoying so she'll maybe stop but that usually backfires and she just keeps going till I tell her it feels good or stuff. I try to avoid having sex at all I tell her that I'm tired i even tell her that this behaviour turns me off I say things that gets her mad so she won't want to have sex but again she either gets mad cries or goes blank so we end up having sex like 3 times a week i love my girlfriend with all my heart she is honestly the kindest person I've ever met and I love that she's still trying to be happy despite her past ( her parents were abusive physically and psychologically plus she was bullied and stuff she also started to cut herself at 8 years old and started to abuse her meds when she was going to 3rd grade but she does not mention any kind of sexual assault or rape but I'm starting to think that's the case) yesterday she got high again and tried to drink alcohol after I yelled at her and stuff we argued and she said that she needed it said that it helped her feel alive and bs which made me furious I grabbed her dragged her to the bathroom I tried to make her puke i acted like an asshole but the fear of loosing her made me determined to make her realize that everything she made make me sad, she didn't puke and kept shoving me away then she tried to cut herself telling me to let her be and that she needed these stuff and that was the last drop for me I dragged her to our bedroom and kept yelling at her i said if she needed to feel numb that I could fuck her if she needed to bleed I could fuck her til she bled and that made her sob but she was frozen like if I actually did those things she would just let me, that made me stop and I just pulled her close and we cuddled til she fell asleep around 1 am she woke up screaming then she had a big seizure it lasted about 3 minutes and her body trembled her spasms were horrific her waist twisted her legs locked up and her limbs looked like they were about to break when she woke up she was confused she kept saying weird stuff qnd eventually fell asleep and she woke up in the morning crying cause she was in so much pain I tried to take her to ER but she said it would cost too much and to be honest she was right so we stayed home we cuddle I made her dinner and stuff anyway I really need to find a way to help her get better or find out what causing this or a way to make her admit to me that she was raped or to convince her to go to therapy or anything

I'm gonna talk with her tonight and tell her that we're cutting sex from our relationship plus the drug use and sh and if she doesn't accept it that I'll break up with her (tho if we break up I'll be still in her life I will definitely not have sex with her but I can't just leave her when she's like this I'll stay as a friend even tho it hurts to even think about it sounds like the best thing i can do for her rn) I'll make an uptade about what happens

I am. 24 (f)

I live in a small town in Maryland Baltimore. Now I’m not the biggest or smallest lady confident I could defend myself but I’m still scared. I work in a doctors office sometimes I get creepy men flirting happens to everyone and that’s not the thing that bothers me. Everyday when I get into my car there’s always a ford truck parked in the top section of the parking lot, I get off around 12 am always. Now that doesn’t bother me much as one of my coworkers could have a ford but I have asked around and none do. Maybe they work in the buildings over, but why would they park in the doctors office lot? And the add on is I feel as im never alone and I always have something to back it up. There’s always someone near me, and it seems to be the same man every time. Tall, broad and a beer belly, IVE never seen this man’s face as I don’t want to get to close to him afraid of what will happen if I do. Now I live in a complex I have installed a ring doorbell and nothing unusual around my living it seems it’s only my work and places I go? Maybe he doesn’t want to get caught? I don’t know it feels like stalking but I don’t want to jump to conclusions. Not enough evidence to go to the authorities but I come to the internet hoping you all can give me advice.

Im tired, drained, and humiliated all in one

I feel like I have been bullied, pushed and isolated by the same people who need to be there for me

I cannot seem to discover anything to lend a hook for me, I am without interest of staying put but it doesnt seem plausible moving forward, without cue and knowledge to change i cant help myself but remain in this isolating cycle

Tryimg to reach out help either falls back on me or was never about finding solutions, nothing but affirmation of this nightmare

I cannot allow myself to stop now

I cant see a path away from this madness and i feel like am being pulled into my own skin, exhausting tears in the episode

All I fathom is possible will be hope, good vibes and perseverence, sacred resources I do not have and losing by time, empowering words, songs of abundance, all but temporary

Friends and contacts run their own lives, ghosting me, while im sinking with all the time I have.

In the event you think ill harm myself, I will not, i want to disbelieve so hard it is over.