r/helpme

So, I have been trying break my gooning addiction for 3 years now. Is there any advice you have to help me overcome my addiction?

I’m 17 in the uk.
Yesterday I found out my dad used to beat my mum, he beat me but I was too young to understand they have been split since I was 2 and he’s an alcoholic. My mum told me alot more he’s done, and now I’m angry, I left him last year and he’s emotionally blackmailed me every single day since. I’m so angry at him but he’s my dad but he’s never acted like it and I feel terrible for leaving, I’m scared he will kill himself and I will take the blame because if I didn’t leave he wouldn’t do it. He uses my little sister to get me to come over. And the worst thing is, he doesn’t even know how much pain he’s caused me mentally and physically, coming home to blood on the floor from when he fell, hearing my sister scream after he fell near her, he told me are car broke down but he was drunk and crashed it. My first real memory is the police at my door, my mum told me he pushed her and tried to beat my stepdad. I don’t know what to do, I want to leave but he’s making me feel horrible.

I have a girlfriend and she’s perfect, she only sees the good in people and she has a great family. But I see the bad in people I’m always on alert to see if anyone will try somthing. But deep down I almost hope it does I’d like to think I can handle myself in a fight as I used to do mma, and I have so much anger that I feel the need to take it out on someone, I never have which is why i want someone to do something to me first. I hate I feel like this like my dad’s anger is with me. I’m not like him and I never will be, Iv never touched alcohol because of him. But I think I should brake up with her as I’m holding her back, but she’s all I have I think if I did that’s the end for me. I love her I really do but I don’t want her to end up some place bad because of me she deserves the world and I can’t give that to her.

My best friend told me his dad straggled him the other day, I’m also trying to help him, no one knows what my dad has done to me or my mum so he has no idea. I want to get him out the house and he can live with me but I’m to sad to deal with his problems I have my own so I feel terrible about that to all I want to do his help him and my girl live a better life.
But how can I do that with all my problems Iv only said a little here and now I look back it’s not really “a little”

My next problem is my addiction, I’m deep in a hole with spice and Thc it’s the only thing to keep my mind with 1 thought, normally my heads like I’m in a room full of people screaming at me. I have night terrors and haven’t slept over 6 hours in 2 weeks now. I don’t know if dreams mean anything but, Im in my village and everything is black and white, my family is there but can’t see me or hear me. It’s horrible I feel alone I want to die honestly I’m not to sure why I haven’t yet, I’m holding onto this hope that I’ll wake up and everything will be fine. That will never happen and I think I’m started to let go, I started thinking about notes I’d leave and Iv got a way now. What do I do. Please please please help me I really don’t know what to do anymore

Im so sad. Im (f60) in so much pain - physically and mentally - and i can't stop crying. My husband (m61)is upstairs and can hear me but doesnt care.

I have back problem, fibromyalgia, and chronic pain, (since I was 10, I've had spinal surgery twice, 3rd is due soon as I've already had pre op assessment) he does too plus rheumatoid arthritis and i know he's in pain too but i dont think it's a reason to ignore anybody who is crying and in such distress.

My grandson (4) is profoundly autistic with learning difficulties. I look after him a lot even though im not really capable. Husband doesnt. Im on my own a lot with grandson such a lot and sometimes I can barely push his pushchair my body hurts so much.

Grandson bites me a lot - sensory seeking sometimes, or if hes angry - but nobody seems to care. He bit me earlier on my arm and the pain was awful, husband shouted at me and asked why I let him bite me so much. I dont let him, its not something I allow, he just does it so fast I can't move put of his way quick enough. He's bitten me on my arm, my breast, my knee, and my shoulder all in the last 24 hours. In the past hes bitten my face.

Daughter is single with grandson, and 13 year old adhd daughter. I help her a lot, im the only person who does. Her siblings dont, social services have let her down badly, the local authority says grandson can go to mainstream school even though he's non verbal, smears his own poo everywhere, and is likely to bite other kids, so daughter is very stressed.

For the past about 2 weeks I haven’t been doing anything I usually do and I think it’s taking a toll on my body and relationship with my girlfriend. For context: i 18M work a full time job at the moment, but work has been slow and I haven’t gone since 2 weeks ago. It’a not like I’m making the choice not to go, theres straight up no work for me at the moment. Me not going to work caused my dad to stop giving me my meds in the morning when I go.( I take meds for depression and anxiety and have been for almost 3 years now). I also stopped eating almost everything and now just imagining eating food and smelling it makes my stomach sick and my head nauseous. I lost 10 pounds over these 2 weeks aswell. My body has been cold even tho it’s usually 25-30c outside and in my room, I twitch and shake sometimes randomly. My emotions have felt blank and bland, weird thoughts off fucked up scenarios have been playing in my head( like different ways of me dying, losing my mind, trying to scare me, and stuff like that). More recent things are that my strength and energy are dropping, ive been short of breath a lot and my senses have been not as strong. Theres also just been a lot on my mind. The biggest thing is how my relationship is taking this.
This coming week I plan to start trying to do better like eating more, going to work, stuff like that.
I want some opinions from some of you guys and advice. Feel free to ask anything.

My ex and I were together for two months and in that time he took my virginity. He knew I was a virgin and that I had been sexually abused for 8 years and I trusted him with my body only to find out he was still in love with his opiate addict, cheating, long distance ex from 2ish years ago. We broke it off a few days ago and I genuinely don't know what to do or how to continue with my life. I regret it deeply and I wish I could take it back but I can't. I know I will never get to have that experience with another person, someone who only wants me, someone who isn't waiting on another person, and I hate it. I picked the wrong person and now that we're over I'm stuck at a crossroads and I need advice. Do I stay celibate until marriage, never risking the pain of letting someone else in like that again until we're both absolutely certain we want that but simultaneously giving him that importance of being the only man I consensually slept with, or do I start sleeping with other people and risk getting hurt like that again but removing that importance from him? (Not talking sleeping around and being a hoe just having sex with my next partners.) I genuinely don't know what to do and I'm fucking stuck.

I am going to kill myself. I have lost 60k in the past month. I need help.

I’m a failure of a man I’m 24 wanted to be a fre fighter but told my anxiety it wouldn’t be a good fit with anxiety so heavy i can’t be in stressful situations like that it makes me gag like I’m throwing up and I can’t have fun without alcohol involved to take my mind off it I’m in a bad spot financially spiritually mentally physically and all I’m working on dropping weight I’m like 5’8 294 i got so much in my life going wrong parents and family wonder why I don’t go places with them or dinners get together or functions my anxiety just stops me completely I don’t got much my job doesn’t pa much I got no experience no degree my house about to cave in from roof damage I live with my parents I see it in their eyes they’re tired as well my girl just broke up with me I’m drunk while texting this or posting this I’m just tired ion wanna be here anymore idk what to do

I saved enough for a gaming pc but my parents are insisting to buy a mac but I don't wanna and with increasing prices of ram apple just increased their prices I want to convince my parents to let me buy a gaming pc give me some ideas to make them convince they have counters for my reasons so I am losing there too 😔

it’s literally gradually killing me because it’s the sole reason for my fucked sleeping pattern which has been degrading my health for many years, it only gets stronger as you feed the beast.

My work starts early, I’m 16 m.

I’ll be shocked if anyone comments because I’m new to rebbit.

He’s such a nice guy… but I feel like in this relationship I’ve lost myself. I’ve stopped doing what makes me happy, I’m more irritated, more stressed, less finically stable, high sex drive but I don’t even want him touching me. I feel so guilty and I know I’d miss him because he’s a great person but at the same time I feel like we aren’t meant to be together long term and I don’t know how to tell him without crushing him… he makes me feel like not a good person and that my standards are too high when I’m just asking for the bare minimum. I love him… but I’m not IN love with him and I feel like it would be unfair to try and fix things if I’m already mentally checked out

How do you break up with someone in a nice way?? I feel like he’s gonna hate me and lie to people about me.

I don’t know if this is the right place to say this, I’m not new to all the incel stuff I’m new to incel Reddit
Anyway, I was a lonely depressed 13 year old at the time I wanted a girlfriend I met up with a girl, she was about 16, me and the girl knew for less then a week when she assaulted me I told my parents about it and they laughed about it this was about a year ago when it all happened to me I’m still deeply struggling with mental health issues and I’m still not okay, I tried suicide multiple times already and as you’d expect didn’t work, when I was 12 I made a video in case my attempt was successful, the video was 3-5 minutes long saying sorry to the people who cared about me I got real emotional in the video since I thought It would be the last thing remaining of me, and about the assault I asked people online and told them about details and they helped me confirm it was indeed sexual assault, I hope this doesn’t make me get fun of and I am not saying this for attention I’m saying this for anyone who experienced something like this and I hope they come out about it and openly talk about it.
Last thing is I didn’t get any help and I got diagnosed with depression multiple times by multiple doctors,I used and sometimes do harm myself,thank you for reading this

i'm not a suicidal person, but unfortunately, I don't see any changes happening to my life, and i do plan on killing myself soon. unfortunately my situation at home is a mess My mom is a grown ass woman and needs help paying everything and now i'm stuck doing everything. I make minimum wage as a medical assistant. Barely anything hits my pay. and not to mention I get paid twice a month. I have a lot of credit card debt. I don't drive. I don't have a car. I can't save up for a car. I Uber to work and it's so expensive. I'm stuck so if things don't look up in the next couple of weeks. this is my last goodbye I am not living a life that i don't want. It's not fair how other parents don't ask their kids for anything and mines to lazy to provide for herself. I've been fixing my résumé in a line of jobs but if by the end of the month, I don't see any changes i'm leaving forever.

My mother keeps bringing food to my home, I hate it, not because I dont like them, it's just that I hate to waste food. When she brings food i can only think that some of my food will go bad because she brought it.

I told her to ask me before bronging in food, but since i never give her the ok she has started to give me food without asking. And it's not reasonable to say refuse it, so I cant.

So now i cant eat because everytime i look at my fridge there's something i didnt want, that I have to eat so it doesnt go bad, and i just want to break something. This has happened before and it just ends with me going out to eat because its late.

This also happens with everything else, as in she'll see i dont have lots of trousers, and i'll say i will some later. And since It takes a lot of time for me to go buy clothes, i dont like it, she'll bring me some. And then I wont be able to buy what I want. I've ended up screaming to her about it, and I dont want to do it, but since I dont have a reasonable explanation for her to stop she just wont.

And I know it's not normal, but shoving food in my fridge or things i dont want, just because she thinks i need them it's not a solution. It just makes me bitter, and I have a hard time saying no, until i blow up, and this week i've been very on the edge

Hi friends. I am trying to avoid self harming tonight. I have been clean for a few months and I’m trying very hard to keep it that way.

I would really like to hear about good things about your day or week to distract and help me feel better about the world right now. I would really appreciate it.

Thank you.

Idk where to start but my whole life I've dealt with a lot of trauma, and eventually I met a girl who pulled me out of all that and showed me I could matter, but she ended up being toxic and for the last 2 years I've let her manipulate me and cheat on me and I feel like the worst. I tried to cut her off recently and my best friend introduced me to a girl to help, this new girl made me feel like I actually mattered for the first time in so long that it felt like meeting my ex but better, and i truly thought maybe id be ok, but it turns out she has a toxic ex like mine and the same night i finally asked her out, he did too before i did and i ruined everything, i hate myself so much for not being enough, he treats her terribly and i want to give her everything shes ever wanted but i ruined my only chance at happiness. I say all that to say I feel completely broken at this point, I hate myself every moment that im sober and I don't know what to do, i want to wait for her but I know ill never be enough for her and because of my trauma i put all my self worth into what the person i love thinks of me, so i always feel horrible, the worst part is i genuinely dont think im ugly or unattractive and i take care of myself the best i can every day but i still feel so worthless, will i ever be enough for anyone or am i just unlovable

Looking for advice normally when stressed j tend to automatically go to masturbation and sexual experience but my girl friend is in hospital and it's so bad I can't become aroused even at stuff that has always worked and end up not being able to sleep (got 5 hours off sleep in 3 days) how can j possibly deal with this when everything even the easiest isn't working

I’m 20 years old. I dropped out of school, not because I’m not capable but due to family stuff keeping my mind astray. Ik it’s a bs excuse. I work around 30 hours a week making close to 20-21 an hour. I don’t know what the hell to do at this point in life. And I need help and guidance on what I can do to progress my career

Hi, Im 17F and going into my senior year of highschool. I dont want to be in a commited relationship right now if it doesnt work out in the long-term so if you could please give me ways I can test if hes the one!

I am a very reactive, anxious, easy to react, often lashing out type of person. Although I have been trying to change, it's still hard and often it feels like I haven't changed at all.

Today, me and my girlfriend got into a disagreement, or a fight if you will— For context, It started when i woke up from my sleep after i came from school, i was really worried that she wasn't online because often she's always on when i wake up after my nap/sleep. When she finally did reply, i expressed my concern and worry towards her, but she was so happy that she had failed to notice my genuine concern and accidentally dismissed it with cheerfulness. But she did apologize after, after i expressed my displeasure with what she did and we resolved at that

And then a bit later, we said we'd play after my chores. I finish my chores then, i joined her. What i didn't expect was there was two other players with us was something i didn't expect, i grew uncomfortable because i don't handle well in more than one on one conversations/bonding. My game wasn't responding by luck so i used that as an excuse to leave, i did eventually say that i would like to be informed about that next time.

This part is where everything became a but complicated, she said that it was okay and she understands. I was very irrational and my emotions were really everywhere at that time, i took that as a attack, as dismissiveness even though it isn't. I end up crying over that thought, thinking that it's my fault and that i shouldn't have said anything and took back my words of wanting to be informed when there's other people joining us. She went along with my decision and said "okay, yes sure". I think that my brain took that really badly because i started to think she really really hates me. She doesn't she loves me a lot.

As i drowned in my thoughts of self hate and such, i said some really unsavoury words towards her. I said that I hated her, that i wish i would distant myself from her and that she distance herself from me to spare her the feeling of hate from me.

She expressed that, she just wanted to have a chill day, a day without worry. I felt guilty immediately after I sent that message.

I want to apologize to her, for saying all of those hurtful things to her. But I know it won't be easy at ALL. I really want to apologize to her, i really am sorry. I've done this a dozen times, i lash out then immediately regret it, I've been trying to suppress it but it just bursts out. I truly am sorry for how i have acted. This really could've just been resolved easily.

I don't want to leave her, I still want us to be together. If she doesn't want to be with me anymore after that, then it's fine i understand I have my issues that are complicated to handle for other people.

But i just really REALLY want to apologize to her. I don't want to lose her at all.