u/BYoninb

Im tired, drained, and humiliated all in one

I feel like I have been bullied, pushed and isolated by the same people who need to be there for me

I cannot seem to discover anything to lend a hook for me, I am without interest of staying put but it doesnt seem plausible moving forward, without cue and knowledge to change i cant help myself but remain in this isolating cycle

Tryimg to reach out help either falls back on me or was never about finding solutions, nothing but affirmation of this nightmare

I cannot allow myself to stop now

I cant see a path away from this madness and i feel like am being pulled into my own skin, exhausting tears in the episode

All I fathom is possible will be hope, good vibes and perseverence, sacred resources I do not have and losing by time, empowering words, songs of abundance, all but temporary

Friends and contacts run their own lives, ghosting me, while im sinking with all the time I have.

In the event you think ill harm myself, I will not, i want to disbelieve so hard it is over.

Is this a sign? That or im looking in the wrong places

Help needed, stamped: The Self

Signed: I AM

Print: Yog'Sothoth

Stained; Brahman

Honorable mentions; Azazoth

I have thought of this genius iDea that I would be able to train inner muscles neighboring the heart

to indirectly enhance my cardiac and bloodflow performance to exercise better

Yeah, that is it, I meant all of that word-for-word

I am also no big fan of outdoor exercise as a result.

If what I am asking for is impossible, just admit it.

So, are you creative enough to help me? I would like to have each muscle to have its own exercise for reference

I wouldnt want to hear, exercises that are prescribed in almost everything, kind of removes the point of asking.

With love and affection you would do good in the world and make me feel better if you do.

​

Im 20, and I have never being able to go out of my region let alone my home, the theatre, beach and other places I did not go on my own without my family

The world, my family, connection, health, everything is decaying all around me and I am yet to see the world and experience life fully myself, I dont know how to prove myself so I can be loved more or found

and to move forward as a person in a society and civilization how to do it is off the table, everyone simply refuse to help and or let me in just because and let alone spark interest in me

I cannot believe I have ever left square one in my life

Im seriously traumatized trying everything for the better of everyone and life doesnt recipocrate, im told to do crap myself, what is myself if not for recognition? It just hurts and im further unable to step closer to my mirror life

Events are turning in a way im only grieving i could not live a life without the world ending or worsening in the background, i treat the news simply as a confirmation things are over.

It was part of a tunnel slide or something similar and in a moment of truth, it was played the first few frames of the music video with the opening tune

Yah, now give me karma, then there was an elderly woman in the counter of the place which idfk what her role was

i dont know whether it was lucid since I dont know to tell them apart, felt a lil down before being flashed with it

For fact I remember it has probably something like that happened

Never gave it up, ig

Foe the last couple days I have felt my head, throat and my entire body completely charged and pressurized, it started in the afternoon yesterday and im still feeling it since and it is not a pleasant experience

At all, I cannot settle down not for once.

I can tell I have been suffering from this for a whole lot of time now and I cant brush it off now, even if its too late.

Coming here is the second part of the work, is there any device or Solution to this? I am completely averse to traditional advice since 1. It can be applied to almost any situation, 2. It requires huge discipline which I cant be trusted with in this state, 3? No imagination to it

No, NOT an offswitch, I am not asking for a magical drug or a quick fix, I need something which proverbially a surgical treatment for this matter.

You are not required to keep anything confidential if something for sure can help, i am familiar and still a beginner in vibrations and electric universe theory. But if you do have something confidential between the lines, I dont think you should comment here to begin with.

For note, I have also had in the recent past lots of sexually centered thoughts and lots of gastric issues over the past months, not necessirally a rationale for what is happening.

I have come to try oral health frequencies, cymatics, scalar, morphic fields and similar but to no avail I have experienced any significant sensation using them, that and making through the entire track uninterrupted does not yield results either

What am I doing wrong? I simply wish to observe an objective sensation or effect to guarantee it, I find a lot of alternatives but overall they fail to manifest physically or sensationally

I dont know if this topic counts as relevant in this subreddit but rest assured It must be