r/occult

I’m utterly exhausted and disillusioned with my life, feeling like I’m not living up to my potential. I’ve witnessed people living lives filled with sex, sex content creators, and sex workers, all seemingly content in their chosen paths. They travel to different cities, pursuing their desires without any regard for societal norms. I’ve also seen drug dealers, murderers, and individuals who are considered “bad” living the lives they want, even though they lack the resources and opportunities I have.

I’ve seen people who don’t even have what I have, yet they seem to be living the lives they desire. They don’t engage in the same rituals and practices that I do, and I’m growing increasingly frustrated with my own life. I’ve had moments of clarity, where I’ve realized that I’ve been stuck in a rut since I was 18, and I haven’t been living a fulfilling life.

I’ve tried everything to change my circumstances. I’ve moved to different places, tried various religions, and performed spells and rituals, but nothing seems to be working. I’m at my wit’s end and ready to sell my soul to anything that will give me what I want. I’m no longer concerned about the consequences or the moral implications of my actions. I’m willing to make any deal, even if it means sacrificing my values and beliefs.

I’m desperate for a solution, but I don’t know where to turn. I’m broke and alone, stuck in this small town with nothing but my own thoughts and feelings. I’m at a crossroads, and I don’t know which way to go. I need help, but I don’t know who to turn to.

I've been studying occult/esotericism for about 5 years now, mainly via Golden Dawn, though overall pretty eclectic. One problem that I ran into was that there was no centralized source of reference. I could copy diagrams/meditate/visualize, and add them to my magical diary, but then the next thing that I needed wouldn't be there, and finding the entries that *were* there would still involve a lot of flipping through pages. I also ran into some questions about where a lot of the information was originally sourced.

With that in mind, I started building a reference site for Western Esotericism, with one rule- I wanted every claim to say where it came from- and in the absence of sources, I'd like it to say so instead of sharing assumptions. I've limited it to primary texts as best I can, and solely to those in the public domain (both for legal and moral reasons). This was initially just for myself as a fun project, but I realized that it might actually be helpful to others.

esotericnotebook.com
It's currently up to seventeen sections across four areas.

* Qabalah (three Trees of Life — the Kircher/Hermetic arrangement, the sefirot-only Jewish tree, and the Gra arrangement),

* Solomonic magic (all seventy-two Goetic spirits with their public-domain seals),

* Enochian (Dee's alphabet, figures and the few attested words),

* tarot (seventy-eight cards across four decks, five spreads),

* astrology with a chart calculator,

* geomancy

*alchemy

* the magical orders

* reference section.

This is based on 80 texts, 96 editions, 2,138 citations across 1,804 claims, and a shelf of 336 source books with free-to-read editions linked wherever one was found and checked.

I think that this is a little different than most references; I'm attempting to include only cited claims, and to keep it in between readable and scholastically accurate.

Things you can actually use: a natal chart calculator (Swiss Ephemeris, real houses, proper time zones), a tarot reading that deals face down (and the shuffling method simulates real cards, not merely a randomized array) and makes you turn the cards, a geomantic cast you can watch being derived step by step, the Tree as an interactive diagram with overlays, a gematria calculator, an interactive associations atlas, and an interactive history timeline..

On privacy: readings and questions travel in the URL and are never stored. The site keeps no record of what anybody asked it or searched for.

It's free, there's no account, and nothing is for sale. Corrections welcome — particularly if you can source something I've marked unsourced, or show me somewhere I've got it wrong.

Quick Note on AI usage-
I'm a software engineer, but neither a great front-end developer, nor a great researcher. This means that I did use Claude Code for some help the front-end as well as moderate assistance with the web searching for sources. I verified all claims, wrote the backend and models entirely myself, and have updated/adjusted/verified any sources/citations found by AI. I'm hoping that this site will give users some enjoyable time looking items up and seeing them in context, instead of mere google and ChatGPT searches.

From the list, in comments, which one would people suggest as a first book to guide me into practical occult practice?

I understand they are very varied and cover a lot of different things, so let's get that out of the way.

I don't have a huge space to work in. I don't know which path/area will suit me best hence the question.

I know nothing of practical Magick and how to practice it so I'm looking to start from the basics, but also looking towards getting results.

Thanks for your help.

Hey so I have a question? Should I so this commission? I am an artist and someone reached out to me about creating a piece for them of a very. Beautiful goddess(Erzulie Freda. )But I am a little weary of creating art for someone don't know that well spiritually and don't want to get involved or be responsible if they decide to do something that isn't ethical magically. They are a really cool person but how do I tell them that im not comfortable?

This is going to sound strange, but I'm genuinely looking for some perspective from people who are experienced with occultism.
A few years ago, I was involved with a guy who was very interested in the occult. He openly practiced rituals and used to tell me that he had performed things involving me, including something involving a pentagram. At the time, I honestly didn't think much of it. I thought it was strange, but I didn't take it seriously.
We eventually stopped seeing each other, but he continued contacting me for years afterwards, until around two years ago.
The strange thing is that I've never really felt completely disconnected from him.
I can't properly explain it. I don't constantly think about him or miss him, but sometimes I have this very strong feeling that there is still some kind of spiritual or energetic connection between us. It almost feels like something was established between us that I never consciously agreed to.
I've also been feeling like my life has been unusually stagnant for a long time. Things don't seem to move forward, and sometimes I get this strange feeling that something is holding me back. I don't know whether these things are connected at all, but the feeling has made me think about him again.
He also still appears to keep an eye on my social media. More recently, he got together with a Brazilian woman, which caught my attention because I'm Brazilian too. I know that's probably just a coincidence, but combined with everything else, it felt unsettling.
I have no evidence that he has done anything recently, and I don't want to convince myself that something supernatural is happening when there could be a completely normal explanation.
So I'd really like to hear from people who actually practice or study occult traditions:
Do occult traditions have beliefs about spiritual or energetic attachments between people that can persist after a relationship has ended?
Do practitioners believe that these kinds of connections can continue without both people consciously maintaining them?
And if someone experiences a feeling like this years after a relationship, what would an experienced practitioner generally recommend doing about it?
I'm genuinely open to being told that I'm overthinking this. I'm not looking for someone to confirm that I'm cursed or that this person is secretly doing something to me. I just want to understand whether the experience I'm describing has any place within occult traditions, or whether it's more likely something psychological/emotional left over from the relationship.
I'd really appreciate honest perspectives from people with actual experience in this area.

i really wish i could feel like im always in my comfort zone in places where there are people i dont know is there anyone who can actually do this?

Hi,
So I’m brand new here and have been studying ceremonial magick mainly from the book by Damien Echols. I was wondering if the circulation of light must also be performed right after the middle pillar ritual daily; can it also be done a few times per week after the middle pillar ritual? And to clarify the middle pillar ritual must be down daily along with the LBRP right? It just feels time consuming when I add those extra 5 min of energy circulation after the middle pillar ritual if I do it daily

Thanks

I am reading chapter 1 and she basically says vampires believe they have a genetic or spiritual issue at birth. The only thing that comes to mind for me is they have a karmic debt from early on in life or from a previous life and or they have a cord attached to them siphoning their energy causing them to become vampires since they are conscious about their situation to an extent. has anybody else thought about this?

I found this book interesting "Tai Chi Fa Jin: Advanced Techniques for Discharging Chi Energy

by Mantak Chia"

Can you recommend me anything similar like this?

There seems to be a lot of books on magick that require extremely random things.