u/CaptainJackAubreyRN

I know little to nothing about Thelema, but what I’ve read of Crowley is enough to make me value very highly any Thelemite’s perspective. If I work with demons, will it aversely affect my afterlife? Will I be barred from any sort of paradise? I don’t mind losing a Christian Heaven, but I’m mortified of not being allowed into the Field of Rushes. I know in Liber Al Nuit says she’ll grant peace after death, but is that contingent upon anything?

I know these questions are stupid, I’m sorry.

Is working with Her and/or worshipping her necessarily a lhp devotion? Though I’m not interested in demonolatry, I feel drawn to Her, and am trying to understand Her better through the book She of The Night. I’ve heard that she’s fundamentally demonic, but this book conflates her with the “Darkness upon the face of the Deep” in Genesis, as well as with Tiâmat.
If working with/worshipping Her is inherently lhp/demonic, what will happen after death? I’m recently ex-Christian, so I know at least a tad of that is bleeding through in this question, but will I be allowed in the Field of Rushes/paradise/granted an ok reincarnation? Any guidance, input, and resources are incredibly appreciated, especially as these questions are probably very silly to more experienced folk.

Edit:
I know these are dumb questions. I know this post is longer than it probably needs to be. I’m new to this, I’m unexperienced. Clear, practicable guidance is what I need. “Read ___” “Meditate like____”, anything to get me out of inactive cluelessness