Any advice is needed
My girlfriend (20F) and I (23M) have been dating for 2 years. We started having sex only 8 months ago (she didn't want to have sex till we reached our one year) end ever since we started she's been acting strange she constantly drinks now uses her prescription meds to get high cuts herself even tho she was clean since we met she keeps waking up screaming she used to have those but they increased noticeably and during sex she goes blank and numb her eyes just go empty she doesn't make any sounds I try to talk to her ask her what was wrong ask if it hurts or stuff but she doesn't answer and gets mad when I try to stop the sex she yells at me saying she wants to continue (she gets really mad ) when it gets to that point i try to leave the room let her be but then she cries and panics begging me to not go that she needs me she has non epileptic seizures (were still not sure if that's really what those episodes are about but they don't show up on EGGS she has other symptoms too a whole lot of em ) and when she panicks like that i get worried about her having another episode (one time after i left she cried herself till she fell asleep and had 5 back to back episodes which causes her a lot of pain) when that happens we usually cuddle for a while then she asks to go back to fucking and cries if i don't say yes so we usually end up having sex again during those she clings to me insists on riding me and cries while telling me she loves me she feels nothing without me etc. And I try to act like I'm not enjoying so she'll maybe stop but that usually backfires and she just keeps going till I tell her it feels good or stuff. I try to avoid having sex at all I tell her that I'm tired i even tell her that this behaviour turns me off I say things that gets her mad so she won't want to have sex but again she either gets mad cries or goes blank so we end up having sex like 3 times a week i love my girlfriend with all my heart she is honestly the kindest person I've ever met and I love that she's still trying to be happy despite her past ( her parents were abusive physically and psychologically plus she was bullied and stuff she also started to cut herself at 8 years old and started to abuse her meds when she was going to 3rd grade but she does not mention any kind of sexual assault or rape but I'm starting to think that's the case) yesterday she got high again and tried to drink alcohol after I yelled at her and stuff we argued and she said that she needed it said that it helped her feel alive and bs which made me furious I grabbed her dragged her to the bathroom I tried to make her puke i acted like an asshole but the fear of loosing her made me determined to make her realize that everything she made make me sad, she didn't puke and kept shoving me away then she tried to cut herself telling me to let her be and that she needed these stuff and that was the last drop for me I dragged her to our bedroom and kept yelling at her i said if she needed to feel numb that I could fuck her if she needed to bleed I could fuck her til she bled and that made her sob but she was frozen like if I actually did those things she would just let me, that made me stop and I just pulled her close and we cuddled til she fell asleep around 1 am she woke up screaming then she had a big seizure it lasted about 3 minutes and her body trembled her spasms were horrific her waist twisted her legs locked up and her limbs looked like they were about to break when she woke up she was confused she kept saying weird stuff qnd eventually fell asleep and she woke up in the morning crying cause she was in so much pain I tried to take her to ER but she said it would cost too much and to be honest she was right so we stayed home we cuddle I made her dinner and stuff anyway I really need to find a way to help her get better or find out what causing this or a way to make her admit to me that she was raped or to convince her to go to therapy or anything
I'm gonna talk with her tonight and tell her that we're cutting sex from our relationship plus the drug use and sh and if she doesn't accept it that I'll break up with her (tho if we break up I'll be still in her life I will definitely not have sex with her but I can't just leave her when she's like this I'll stay as a friend even tho it hurts to even think about it sounds like the best thing i can do for her rn) I'll make an uptade about what happens