When does relating become self-centered?
The other day, a friend was venting to me and asking for advice about a situation at work. I said something along the lines of, “That sucks. I’ve dealt with something similar at work, and here’s how I would handle it…” I told them my experience - I said this how I would deal with yours. I also proceeded to continue talking about their problems after that.
To me, that’s not trying to make the conversation about myself. It’s my way of relating to someone, thinking through their situation, and offering advice based on my own experiences. I’m essentially putting myself in their shoes and thinking out loud about how I would solve the problem.
I see a lot of people on this subreddit describe this kind of response as self-centered, one-upping, or making everything about yourself.
I genuinely don’t understand why. Isn’t sharing your own experiences part of how people connect and help each other?
I’m curious where people draw the line between trying to relate to someone and making the conversation about yourself.