My GF disappears every time she hurts me or gets caught. She cheated in the past and doesn't value me. How do I get out/deal with this?
Hey everyone, I really need some outside perspective because I’m feeling completely drained and lost.
My girlfriend and I have been together for a while, but there's a recurring pattern that is destroying my mental health. Whenever she hurts my feelings, crosses a line, or gets called out on something, her immediate response is to completely disappear. She ignores my texts, won't answer calls, and stonewalls me for days until I’m the one crawling back to fix things—even when I did nothing wrong.
To make matters worse, she cheated on me earlier in our relationship. I tried to forgive her and rebuild trust, but it feels like she doesn't value me or respect the effort I put into forgiving her. Whenever I try to bring up how her actions make me feel, or express that I’m still hurt by the past, she checks out and disappears again. It feels like emotional punishment for calling out her bad behavior.
I feel constantly anxious, undervalued, and exhausted. I know deep down this is toxic, but it's hard to break the cycle when you care about someone.