r/ToxicRelationships

F25 M32
We've been together for about 9months, it went quite nice with some distance in between. Lately we had some problems about me digging in his past, since he had a very long relationship and some short relationships as well before and I found some suspicious things on his phone while he cheated emotionally ( texting some girls on instagram/ dating apps) but not physically during those relationships .

He said he is a changed person and will never do that again, especially that his past long term relationship was not functional to start with. Recently, my gut feeling was off, I went to the dating app where we met and I found he had an active profile there.
He claimed he was actually searching for me and its only very recently because I acted distant and threatened to leave the relationship, he blocked the two girls he was texting with, then when I figured it out he showed that it was nothing and meaningless discussions and he stopped texting back in two days because he felt he was doing something bad.

He cried for days and swore he was loyal to me the whole relationship , was devastated and invited me to couple therapy especially that has some unresolved childhood traumas with validation and feeling abandoned. He said he takes responsibility and will never do it again, and also he is saying he was loyal all the time to me until he did that stupid mistake. On social media, he has me in his bio and profile photos.

What should I do? I need help because Im still wondering if he needs a second chance

I’ve been with M 44 for 6 years , I’m F38 , he lives with his sons mother , and was intimate with both of us most of the time , now October 2025 him and I broke up , and I started seeing someone 2 days after we broke up and I ended up sleeping with him 2 times , turns out this man because obsessed with me and found out who my x was n sent him screenshots of our conversations and telling him we slept together , my x was furious, telling me I cheated on him, he was living with his son‘s mother and sleeping with her while I was single. Am I wrong for sleeping with somebody else and not feeling guilty about it, he wants me to feel guilty and tells me I have to do things how he wants me to do them that I have to show him that I’m sorry for what I did to him because that’s all he thinks about now.

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I’m looking for some outside perspective because I’m genuinely confused and this relationship has started to feel mentally draining for me.

My girlfriend loves me a lot, and I have no doubt that she cares about me. She’s also very attractive and takes really good care of her appearance. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that—I actually think it’s a good thing.

The problem is that I’ve started comparing myself to her.

I’d consider myself average or maybe below average looking. Growing up, I never really thought much about my appearance or felt insecure about it. But over the last 2–3 months, being in this relationship has made me think about my looks much more than I ever did before.

She has reassured me multiple times and told me not to think that I’m ugly or unattractive. But at the same time, I feel like she places a lot of importance on appearance, especially facial attractiveness and height.

For example, I’m around 5'8". I personally never considered myself extremely short because, in my experience, that’s around average for an Indian guy. But she has told me that 5'8" is short. She’s around 5'3", so this makes me wonder whether she actually finds my height unattractive even though she tells me she loves me.

Another thing that confuses me is that she sometimes compliments other good-looking guys, even calling them things like “handsome” while referring to them casually as “bhaiya.” I know that complimenting someone doesn’t automatically mean she’s attracted to them, and I don’t want to be controlling or jealous over normal behavior.

But combined with everything else, it gets into my head.

I’ve reached a point where I constantly wonder things like:

- Does she actually find me attractive?

- Is she settling for me despite being able to get someone better-looking?

- Does my height bother her more than she admits?

- Am I simply becoming insecure because I’m comparing myself to her?

- Or are some of her comments genuinely contributing to these insecurities?

The weird thing is that I wasn’t this insecure about my appearance before the relationship. I used to be comfortable with myself.

I love her and I believe she loves me, but lately the relationship itself is making me question my attractiveness and my self-worth, and that’s exhausting.

I’m not looking for people to simply tell me “she loves you, so stop thinking about it.” I’d genuinely like an objective perspective.

Am I being insecure and overthinking normal things, or are there legitimate reasons to be concerned about the way she views my appearance? And how would you handle this situation without becoming controlling or constantly seeking reassurance from your partner?

I woke up to an almost dead phone battery.. all my stuff packed.. and I am being broken up with because of my snapchat that i RARELY go on. He wouldn’t give me a chance to explain, have any conversation.. nothing.

Been n this relationship a few years. Have a kid together who is almost 3. We get along sometimes. Other times it’s straight torture. I feel weights Constantly. Constantly unhappy. Am i doing a good thing for my little girl ? Just keeping shit alive and holding it all together ? Should i put up with her just because of my child ? Isn’t life about sacrificing me for the ones i love ? I think about our past fights and things i found out that come to my mind every day even if it happened what seems like forever ago. Every thing always seems negative. Working my life away and unhappy for most of it just wondering if this is what it’s supposed to be like ? Feel a real man takes care of his family regardless of his own happiness.

I have been in love with a man for the last 6 years.

When we met we were young(16 years old) but he made me think he was serious about us. First date dinner date ect. But after few months he became cold because he felt that i fell in love deeply and after that i started losing my mind he started the cold warm tactic and i was just falling deeper into the state of unhealthy attachment to this man. Since then i never spent a day not thinking about him. We were together on and off for 3 years and mainly i was the one breaking up with him because i caught him cheating and lying and i forgave him many times until he stopped coming back. After I reached out few times but it was mainly a one night thing and then he would just disappear. Now after 2 years of no contact we met at a festival in our city. I was the first to say hi and i texted him that night and the next night we saw each other again and we spent the whole night talking. He mentioned that he has plans on going to a priest that week and I jokingly said: “take me with you” he laughed and after that night he disappeared again for 3 days and texted me again inviting me to go with him to the monastery to talk to the priest. We went there the next morning and we spent the whole day together. Then he disappeared again and he was texting me just one message a day then he would just randomly text me something nice like you are the person i trust the most then he would disappear again the he text bombed me that he bought an apartment and that i am the first one to hear about the news, then again disappeared. Few nights ago we met again randomly in a cafe and after that we ended up having a beer in a park with few friends and i asked him what’s the point of this contact saying nice things than disappearing and i started pushing him to explain himself he answered: i want you to be my wife and have kids with you, I laughed and begged him to answer seriously he said we will meet tomorrow and we will talk. We never talked he disappeared again. Now I’m ready to forgive for everything he did i’m really in love and i’m losing my mind i will never love someone like this and i will never be with a man if i don’t love him this much. I need help opening my eyes. Do you think that he would ever be serious about me? Or this kind of men never love fall in love with a girl like me?

28f, ive been with my bf for 2 years now.

the past couple months we‘ve been on/off and I finally got exhausted and to the point where I didn’t know him anymore. were also lowkey alcoholics and fight 99% only when we drink(I’m usually the problem)

anyways, I got fed up and broke up with him. regrettably I had a one night stand and my ex reached out a couple days after that. he‘s extremely pissed at me right now and I just wanted a third party opinion

Hey everyone, I really need some outside perspective because I’m feeling completely drained and lost.
My girlfriend and I have been together for a while, but there's a recurring pattern that is destroying my mental health. Whenever she hurts my feelings, crosses a line, or gets called out on something, her immediate response is to completely disappear. She ignores my texts, won't answer calls, and stonewalls me for days until I’m the one crawling back to fix things—even when I did nothing wrong.
To make matters worse, she cheated on me earlier in our relationship. I tried to forgive her and rebuild trust, but it feels like she doesn't value me or respect the effort I put into forgiving her. Whenever I try to bring up how her actions make me feel, or express that I’m still hurt by the past, she checks out and disappears again. It feels like emotional punishment for calling out her bad behavior.
I feel constantly anxious, undervalued, and exhausted. I know deep down this is toxic, but it's hard to break the cycle when you care about someone.

I’ll try not to make this too long but please read it all. I'm really sorry it feels like we've only been arguing and I hate it. I know you think I haven't changed, and I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm trying to do better for myself and for us, so I don't keep doing this to you. I know I act before I think sometimes, and I promise I'm working on it along with the other issues we have that I promise will be fixed. Clearly You're way better at handling stuff like this so hardly any of the blame can be on you and I’m sorry you've had to learn it the hard way. But I didn't go through what you did, and I wish I could take that from you because you’re the last person that deserved it. I'll fix these issues, I just need a little head start and some grace. If you can't be there for that, I understand, even though it'll be hard to accept it, I know this is hard on you too so if that’s what’s best for you please do it. All I ask is please don’t replace me because I know I can do better.

I’m looking for some honest, unbiased advice about my relationship because I’m struggling to see the situation clearly anymore.

My partner and I have been together for about 4 years. In the beginning, he made a lot of the rules in the relationship — when I could see him, when we spoke, when we were intimate, etc. At the time, I didn’t really recognise how unhealthy this dynamic was.

We have now been living together for more than a year, and I’ve started putting my foot down and setting boundaries. Since doing that, I’ve realised just how much the relationship has been affecting me mentally, physically and emotionally. I feel completely drained.

For months now, it feels like all we do is fight. I have tried to talk to him about how I feel and about the problems in our relationship, but these conversations almost always turn into arguments rather than productive discussions.

Another issue is that I’m not allowed to discuss our relationship with friends or family. He believes that talking about relationship problems with other people is a betrayal of trust. Because of this, I often feel like I have nobody to talk to or get perspective from.

I also feel like I’m not really allowed to do things independently. He wants us to spend all our time together, and if I want to do something on my own, it becomes an issue because he feels that I should be spending that time with him instead.

Recently, I also went through a very traumatic family situation and had to take on a lot of responsibility. Despite everything that was happening, I was still being accused of not spending enough time with him — sometimes being told that I wasn’t spending any time with him at all.

I’m starting to question whether I’m being unreasonable or whether these behaviours are genuinely unhealthy. I know relationships require effort and compromise, and I’m not saying I’m perfect either. But I feel like I have lost a lot of myself trying to keep the relationship peaceful.

I would really appreciate honest advice from people who have experienced something similar. Is this something that can realistically be worked through, or are these signs of a controlling/unhealthy relationship that I shouldn’t ignore?

Please be kind — I’m genuinely trying to understand my situation and make the best decision for myself.

My lover with whom I am on bad terms, put a photo of her and her husband in story, she only does it when we no longer talk to each other,

How should I react,

I chose ignorance, but it still hurt me

Last August me (21M) went with my mom and dad to Cabo San Lucas. At this time me and my girlfriend (19F) had been dating for about six months seven months, and I had broken up with her twice previously because I thought that I“ wasn’t ready” because I had never been loved like that and I was unsure abt the age difference was 20 and 17. Anyways, I did some cocaine and was really drunk and decided to kiss another girl and made a huge mistake and then I ended up getting addicted to cocaine and from time to time the paranoia would make me believe that she was going behind my back and trying to get me back so I would text a few people emotionally and she found out at this time. I was completely lost in my own head from doing that drug for so long we ended up splitting up in October because of me again and she started to talk to her ex he ended up coming over and she had sex with him and another dude but lied about it all until just recently, but in the very beginning, she even lied about her body count and just told me that as well which that doesn’t matter, but it’s the lying that upsets me because in my active addiction, I was the one lying all the time.

In a way I feel like she’s trying to keep me close enough to where she knows. She has access to me in my heart still and she knows that because I am a very big hearted person and I feel as if She kind of takes advantage of it. Since then, I’ve gotten clean and been the best man I can be for myself and never everyone around me and tried to prove that to her, which was dumb on my part because I really love this woman to death. We just decided to get back together despite all the bad and horrible toxic moments. I bought her flowers and her favorite food yesterday and paid for her nails and hair before she started school, and asked her to be my girlfriend to get today but for the past two weeks three weeks she’s still been calling me baby telling me she loves me and one night we hooked up but as “friends” ig lol BUT now it feels weird and like she doesn’t actually love me or is very interested in anything about me . Examples, we went to a rave/concert and on the way there we held hands, walking in we held hands, and even the whole day me finding an outfit she kept telling me how handsome I would love in this and that and I got a little drunk and try to give her a hug when we first got there and tell her” let’s get a drink and go dance” she didn’t give me a hug and complain about how she was hot even though I was too. She constantly looked at every dude but me and even went far to mention that she saw dude did she has on Snapchat and she’s never done that. We were having a good time until I started to apologize because she looked like she didn’t want to be there and on her phone texting her friends saying it was” awkward” because she’s just around a bunch of drunk people. We were having a good time I thought and I started to apologize again because she wasn’t paying attention and just said “ it’s fine” like I was a burden to be there she ended up getting mad and told me that I ruined the whole night and she wanted to go home. I had just explained that I was having a good time for the past three days she’s made plans and ditched and very time I bring up an small issue or problem that I don’t necessarily like she doesn’t take accountability blames it on me turns it around on me and it just says how “ oh well you do this or you’ve done that” and doesn’t say you’re right my fault I’ll be better at that. Doesn’t really answer. My calls is still a little dry and leaves me on read as well but always has an excuse for how she’s not wrong or just dodges it and reverses it on me. And for the past two weeks maybe a week and a half she’s been so on and off of how being rude or acting like she doesn’t care, but now that I asked her to be my girlfriend again today, still being distant, being manipulative and a little narcissistic and not wanting to talk as much and in some way still making excuses to not see me. I cried my heart out last night because she blatantly ignored me after born out and did the same thing tonight and didn’t really talk back on the phone just saying I need to calm down, that I never let her talk, screams and cusses when in reality, I’m just trying to tell her my feelings and how she doesn’t listen to any of my feelings, rather turn it around and throw my face and in someway feel like just keeping me around enough for the attention, but still keeping her options open we are “together”

Sorry, I know that’s a lot, but I genuinely do really love this woman and want her to see that I’ve changed and I’m still the man she fell in love with. I’m in desperate need Of some MUCH needed advice from people with more wisdom and who weren’t blinded by the love…

I am 100 percent sure my relationship is toxic. What I don't know is am I overreacting to leave it like you would an abusive relationship when he hasn't physically hurt me or my dog.

He has threatened. He has said awful things like he should have killed his ex when she left him. He can have a serious temper when he loses control. He has done stuff like hit me like he's seeing if I will hit back and put his hands on my neck NOT HARD to see how I would react.

One night he was upset over something and said that he hated sneaky people knowing what they are doing and playing dumb. It makes him want to be sneaky and play dumb too...he made sure I heard him by saying "ain't that right" when I tried to ignore him. Then he stands i. The mirror and says "you're a beast you're a monster they won't see you coming" I pretended I wasn't phased but I was afraid.

The next day I asked him what he was talking about and "didn't remember"...but it wasn't about me, why would I think its about me

I know he has hit previous girlfriends and onetime when he was mad he said that he didn't hit me or call me out my name but that could change. Like I was supposed to be grateful.

He makes jokes pretty regularly about black eyes and breaking my jaw.

I know its not great...toxic for sure but since he has never actually hurt me or my dog I feel like a straight up a-hole thinking about sneaking away. Especially since right now he has been so calm lately. Even now though he is super avoidance and it feels like nothing I say sinks in or matters so talking to him would be a challenge.

Any advice on if I should try to break up with him regular or "sneak" away?

Three months ago my ex broke up with me because he couldn’t handle me being mentally unstable from reacting to his emotional abuse. 7 months together. A year of performance from him until we started dating. I moved two months ago to my dream state. He’s been blocked on instagram two weeks before I moved and people I know who’s close with him are blocked. I didn’t tell my only two friends and my parents who are aware of everything that happened or anyone in general to reach out to him and they’ve avoided him or don’t have instagram. Both of us never contacted each other. I did unblock a few times before the move to see his posts (not his stories) then stopped because it was making my mental health worse.

I made my instagram public again to make new connections. I’m happy with where I live, the people I’ve made friends with, being active everyday, making goals for myself and self care. I’ve been through enough in my life before him I’m better at handling hard changes than harmful coping/distractions. I don’t post anything about him, not even hinting at anything being about him publicly. I only have a little under a hundred followers.

I see random private accounts with no followers look at my stories, girl who I assumed he cheated on me with has viewed my stories, all blocked. His other family members I forgot to block showing up in my suggested. Couple of days ago, a girl who lives in my state wanted to be friends and hang out. Just looking to meet new people! Her account has a few hundreds of followers, posts in multiple locations in the state, and tagged. She just so happens to live in the same town! What a coincidence! Found me following my town’s county official instagram page, that has a large following, and messaged me. She moved to the state 10 years ago. Oh so where are you from? Oh well she’s actually from the same small town in the state my ex grew up in and his family live in. Girl. At least she’s honest. Blocked and privated my account for good.

Why. We’re over. He and his flying monkeys can have fun making up assumptions about me. When does it get old. It’s annoying, not boosting my ego. I don’t miss him or want anything to do with him.

We've been together for almost three years, and our relationship has always been super messy with breaking up and getting back together over and over. Recently, we got back together, and a couple of days ago, I stayed over at his place while his roommate was there in the other bed.
Everything was totally fine in the morning. We were just laughing and watching reels together. I jokingly made fun of his hairline getting pushed back, and in return, he made a nasty comment about my private parts. That pissed me off, so I acted mad. He started trying to apologize super aggressively, which just annoyed me more. When I tried to push his hand off my body, I accidentally slapped him.
He lost it. When I tried to pack my bags to leave, he wouldn't let me go. He threw my bag far away and shoved me hard onto the bed and against the wall until his own knuckles were bleeding. Seeing him bleed made me feel bad, so I calmed him down, put cream on his wounds, and actually believed him when he promised he would never lose his temper like that again.
A little later, while we were getting ready to go out with his roommate, I playfully kicked him in the nuts as a stupid inside joke we always do. He didn't block it this time, and it hit him really hard. He stormed off, came back furious, and started pushing me onto the bed over and over again, even with his friend right there begging him to stop. Since he was being so rough, I slapped him in self-defense. That's when he slapped me back—hard—for the very first time.
After that, I was trapped, completely traumatized, and crying uncontrollably. He took my handkerchief and aggressively rubbed my eyes, acting annoyed that I was crying, and wouldn't let me leave unless I let him punch me in the face first.
Then he forcefully made me lie down on the bed and wouldn't let me get up. Every time I tried to rise, he'd pull me right back down. With his face hovering directly over mine in the dim evening light, I looked at him and got so terrified because I swear I saw a literal demon on his face. It was totally not him at all, since he was never, ever like this before. His face looked completely inhuman and evil, with two pitch-black button eyes and this wide, long, super creepy smiley face stretched across it. It lasted for a while, and it completely froze me with fear. Even he seemed to notice the weird vibe and got scared.
Things just got crazier. He was venting his anger by taking a knife and poking holes in a plastic bottle, and while we were talking, he started placing the knife right against his wrist. Seeing that scared me so bad I genuinely thought I was going to die. He even admitted that if another guy treated his sister the way he was treating me, he would beat that guy up. He finally let me leave just because he thought about his sister, but he still blamed my silly kick for setting off his rage.
I told him I could stop doing those playful jokes, but fights happen in normal relationships—does that mean every single time we argue, he's going to beat me up like this? I am so drained and terrified, and I really need some opinions on what I should do. Is it even possible that some kind of demon or dark entity actually took over him like that?

Yesterday I(F/21) found my boyfriend’s(M/29) sunglasses broken in the car and thought he broke them so put them on his seat. He found them this morning and flipped out continuously asking why they were broken and who broke them even after I said I don’t know. For context we’ve had a rocky relationship because he is extremely jealous and constantly accuses me of cheating and talking to other people. In the middle of the night last night he called me accusing me of calling someone because he saw a video on the camera we have in our room (there because he’s so insecure) but the whole time I had been on the phone with him he just didn’t remember. he did immediately apologize tho. And then this morning he came home and looked through my phone. Now I’m locked in the bathroom and am refusing to talk to him and he sees that as a sign that there was someone in the car. Should I break up with him because of this? He really has improved a lot but I think it’s still too much for me.

Story time! My name is Steph and I'm 25F looking for advice and support.

I met my husband when I was 17 on a dating app. I lied that I was 18. Stupid, dangerous, and toxic of me to lie about my age; I acknowledge this. I made the account because i was lonely and believed that my worth was tied to what men thought of me, and i wanted so badly for a man to find me attractive. He was 22 and had just graduated college while I was in my junior year of high school. We also lived in different states and our relationship was entirely online. We talked for a bit and really connected, mostly because he was extremely caring toward me and i was living with abusive parents and had never felt unconditional love before. I can't remember if it was weeks or months that we were talking for, but eventually I told him my real age and to his credit he stopped talking to me after that.

I messaged him on my 18th birthday to reconnect. I had been pining over him for the months that we weren't talking because he had been the only person in my life who had showed me real care. We talked and connected emotionally and were dating within a week. It was still strictly online but we video chatted for hours every day. My parents hated the fact that I was dating him because he was older and would constantly make attempts to put their foot down and stop me, and would take away my phone for periods at a time so I couldn't talk to him. I resented them for this because I believed I was in love.

After a few months of dating him, eventually I ran away from home to go live with him and completely cut my parents off. My dad had been berating me nearly every day and would purposely make me cry to feel superior, and I just couldn't live with the emotional abuse anymore. My husband views this whole ordeal as him "saving" me from my abusive family.

I was never physically attracted to my husband but at the time I was very religious and believed that sexual attraction was sinful and that love/emotional attraction was what really mattered. Yes, these toxic beliefs were further complicated by my contradictory need for validation from men and for them to consider me attractive. The daddy issues were strong.

We got married a few months after living together when i was still 18. I was living with him and his parents. He helped me apply to FAFSA for student loans so that I could go to college. During the first 3 years of my marriage, and getting exposed to more of the world in general, I deconstructed from my harmful religious beliefs and not only decided that sexual attraction is not in fact sinful but I also accepted in myself that I was attracted to women and not men. I discussed this with him and at the time I was still very much enamored by him and wanted to stay married but I also wanted to see women, so we opened up our marriage under the rule that we could both have sex with women on the side. I continued to have sex with him for his sake, even though he knew i was not attracted to him, but would watch porn and dissociate to cope with not being attracted to him.

Cue 4 tumultuous years of having an open marriage but every few months I would ask for a divorce, and sometimes he would agree to a divorce and we would briefly separate, but I needed him for emotional validation and a feeling of safety and support and he needed me for sex (during the open marriage he never found a single woman and was very lonely and jealous when I found women to have sex with), so we kept getting back together. To put it bluntly, I hurt many of the women I was seeing because during the periods of separation I would be "single" and dating seriously and then I would suddenly get back together with him and only be looking for fwb.

I could not keep friends during college and I largely suspect that it was because they clocked my toxic behavior with my husband and didn't want anything to do with me. I felt alone and isolated like he was the only person I could depend on to not abandon me, and he felt the same about me. I was also diagnosed with Borderline Personality disorder during this time. I sought therapy periodically and was in therapy for my longest stretch for about a year, but one day my therapist unexpectedly quit the company and dropped me as a client and I never sought out anyone else.

The catalyst of me falling out of love with him happened a couple years ago when I had sex with a trans woman without bottom surgery and he claimed I cheated on him because he didn't believe that I should be attracted to someone with a penis. I was actually really adamant about a divorce after this, even though during the periods of me wanting a divorce he would make my life miserable and constantly guilt me for abandoning him. Tragically, the trans woman I mentioned ended up dying of alcohol poisoning and out of grief and guilt I attempted suicide. After my suicide attempt I felt even more isolated and ended up getting back with him because he was my source of comfort, and we fell back into the same routine. I limped my way through college graduation at the age of 24 with a bachelor's, but had trouble finding a job for about 6 months and was extremely depressed and leaning on him because I felt like a failure.

In January this year I finally got a good job and opened up my own bank account. I still didn't have my own car but I was grateful for the freedom of having some of my own money. Fast forward to a couple weeks ago. My husband actually met a girl who was into him for the first time of our entire open marriage! He became infatuated with her and unexpectedly broke up with me because he wanted to be monogamous with her. He set me up with my own mattress in another room in the house and suddenly we were legitimately separated and he wasn't guilting me for not being with him.

However, about a week into his new relationship he met his new girlfriend in person for the first time and decided he wasn't as attracted to her as he initially thought and broke up with her. He then proceeded to beg for me back. He started guilting me saying I was abandoning him and that he was going to k*ll himself and that no one would love me the way he loved me and no one else would forgive me for me being a cheater. I refused to get back together with him for the first time and that's when it escalated. He has anger issues that he has never worked on, and the yelling got much worse.

I attempted to sneak out of the house one night to stay with a friend, but he caught me trying to leave and the guilting and yelling started. I just kept repeating that I needed space, and luckily the ordeal woke his parents up and they allowed me to leave the house. During the days thay I was staying with my friend, he was calling me constantly pleading with me to meet him and that we can work things out. I stopped answering his calls, and a few days in i get a message from his mom that I'm being kicked out and to come get my stuff.

After I got my stuff into a storage unit, I get messages from his brother that are pure harassment calling me a homewrecker and the worst things you can think of and telling me to k*ll myself myself multiple times. I was not expecting this from his brother, and when i screenshotted the messages and sent them to his family, no one responded save for his mom saying that he shouldn't have said that. But no apologies.

I am living in my friend's place getting divorce paperwork together and getting my finances sorted. His whole family is dead to me after what his brother sent me. There is so much more to this story but I tried to lay out everything in an unbiased light and this post is getting long.

So this is my toxic ex, let’s call him “Bradley”. He cheated on me, got caught paying for VIP memberships on Grindr and transgender dating apps, and instead of dealing with his own shit he’s now blowing up my email and trying to paint me as the toxic one.

Quick context on the phone drama that started this exchange:
He refused to release my daughter’s phone from his T-Mobile account and kept blaming me. I finally went into the store myself and T-Mobile told me He had to release it since it was on HIS account. He eventually did… but when I went back to switch the phone over to my account, he had already reported it as lost/stolen so it couldn’t be activated. I had to buy her a whole brand-new phone (and an Apple Watch) out of pocket.

Also important context on the “Chris” accusations:
Bradley has been accusing me of having a 3-year relationship with Chris. That is completely false. Chris is “Rhea’s” husband. Rhea and Chris are separated. Rhea has tried to set me up with Chris multiple times and I have refused every time for two reasons:

1. I have my man from church (“Rooster”) — a godly man who is leading me and my children to Christ.
2. Chris is just not my type at all.

I found out that Rhea and Bradley have been having a relationship themselves. So the two of them have been spreading rumors about me and Chris to make themselves feel better about whatever they’re doing. Not that I care, because they are both dead to me. Rhea WAS my best friend.

Here’s the full email exchange from tonight (Aug 15, 2026):

Me (4:58 PM):
Well, if you hadn’t reported the phone as lost then we could get it done.

Bradley (9:42 PM):
I did not report the phone as lost, TMobile blocked the phone when you tried to activate it on a different network. Second of all I saw your Facebook post, I see all of them. You are not a Christian woman, you are the toxic person not me, and why are you posting the bed I bought from Kevin for Mikey as your new bed? It was not purchased or meant for you. Oh and BTW that bed was at Kevin’s house when I was dating Leah. So you figure that out.

Me (10:07 PM):
It’s my Facebook account, not yours. 🤷‍♀️ And now the bed is mine and at my house while I’m dating Rooster. 💋 Figure THAT out. 🫡

Bradley (10:28 PM):
Oh I’m sure Chris comes by to finger you in the laundry room once in a while. Can’t help it that people you think like you send me your stupid shit. You are fake, a liar and a very toxic person. But I guess you got the rooster so anycockwilldo. I will keep paying for her phone since you can’t

Me (10:38 PM):
If I’m supposedly “so toxic,” you sure are awfully fixated on my sex life. 😂 You and Rhea need to stop spreading rumors about me just to make yourselves feel better about your own relationship.

And since you want to talk about toxicity, let’s not forget your little emotional-connection relationship with Sketchy Chef. 🤷‍♀️

Also, stop projecting. You’re the one living by the “any cock will do” motto, not me.

And since we’re apparently keeping score of what I can and can’t afford, let’s talk about that phone. I just bought Nikole a brand-new phone AND an Apple Watch, because I can afford it. Period. 💅

You don’t know my finances, you don’t know my life, and you definitely don’t know what I’m capable of providing for my kids. So maybe worry a little less about what’s going on in my bedroom, my bank account, and my life, and start worrying a whole lot more about your own. Because at the end of the day, my Rooster is all I need, baby. 🐓😘

Bradley’s final response:
K

He got caught red-handed paying for VIP memberships on Grindr and transgender dating apps, and now he’s projecting, name-calling, and trying to drag me through the mud because he got exposed. Classic toxic ex behavior.
(“Sketchy Chef” was a married woman he met on TikTok, by the way.)
I’m dating a man I met at church. Bradley is out here throwing sexual insults and calling me a liar while he’s the one who got caught on Grindr and trans dating apps, and while he and Rhea are the ones in a relationship spreading lies about me.

The projection is wild.

I’m done entertaining it. Just wanted to document the receipts.😉😎

So I had a boyfriend(ex ko na now) sa school ko. I was a “campus crush” and my ex had a bad image sa school namin dahil sa ibat ibang reasons like cheatings and other stuffs along with his friends na ang aasim din. Hindi kapogian ex ko, wala talagang itsura kaya naging controversial pa sa campus namin yung relationship namin. And nung time na nagbreakup kami, nilantad niya sa lahat yung reasons and other stuffs about me and our relationship. Chinichika niya sa iba yung mga bad sides ng rs namin at kung gaano raw lalala yung mga”ugali ko”. And then yung teachers ko na medyo close niya pinaguunfriend ako and I feel so bothered kasi why would they meddle with their students personal issues??😭😭

Tbh napaka manipulator niya and narcissist 😭
Bawal gumala with my friends, bawal thirst trap and even cute pictures bawal magpost ng anything kasi it would be considered “pagpapapansin” for him. Bawal din male friends and even sa school project bawal male partners kaya i always end up taking individual activities. He’s so insecure to the point na he want me to revolve his whole world around him. He wasn’t even treating me well, lagi niya ako binabarubal with his wordings and actions. Tas he has some guts to say na I didn’t really loved him and talk bad about me when I risked everything for him to the point na pinapalayas nako palagi ng parents ko and wala na ‘kong friend cus he wants more of me. I gave him my all naubos ako sakanya. There came a season where he kept breaking up with me and I kept begging cus i didnt know what to do without him. Tas all of a sudden nakipagbreak na siya ng tuluyan after ng on and off phase namin dahil daw hindi niya na kaya “attitude” ko and rn im having a hardtime to cope kasi I do miss him but it’s better off this way kasi im not growing when im with him

(I wrote this a year ago lol he ended up cheating on me twice and hugas kamay pa rin siya)