I’m stuck and i can’t move on
I have been in love with a man for the last 6 years.
When we met we were young(16 years old) but he made me think he was serious about us. First date dinner date ect. But after few months he became cold because he felt that i fell in love deeply and after that i started losing my mind he started the cold warm tactic and i was just falling deeper into the state of unhealthy attachment to this man. Since then i never spent a day not thinking about him. We were together on and off for 3 years and mainly i was the one breaking up with him because i caught him cheating and lying and i forgave him many times until he stopped coming back. After I reached out few times but it was mainly a one night thing and then he would just disappear. Now after 2 years of no contact we met at a festival in our city. I was the first to say hi and i texted him that night and the next night we saw each other again and we spent the whole night talking. He mentioned that he has plans on going to a priest that week and I jokingly said: “take me with you” he laughed and after that night he disappeared again for 3 days and texted me again inviting me to go with him to the monastery to talk to the priest. We went there the next morning and we spent the whole day together. Then he disappeared again and he was texting me just one message a day then he would just randomly text me something nice like you are the person i trust the most then he would disappear again the he text bombed me that he bought an apartment and that i am the first one to hear about the news, then again disappeared. Few nights ago we met again randomly in a cafe and after that we ended up having a beer in a park with few friends and i asked him what’s the point of this contact saying nice things than disappearing and i started pushing him to explain himself he answered: i want you to be my wife and have kids with you, I laughed and begged him to answer seriously he said we will meet tomorrow and we will talk. We never talked he disappeared again. Now I’m ready to forgive for everything he did i’m really in love and i’m losing my mind i will never love someone like this and i will never be with a man if i don’t love him this much. I need help opening my eyes. Do you think that he would ever be serious about me? Or this kind of men never love fall in love with a girl like me?