I cheated on my husband and now I don’t know if I should stay or leave
For context, we got married at 20 and have been together for 6 years. If I’m being honest, I wasn’t ready for marriage. I said yes because it made sense at the time. He loved me unconditionally, was fully devoted to me, and I did love him in the beginning.
Things shifted when his religious parents offered to pay our rent for a year, but only if we got married first. I saw it as my chance to escape a toxic home life, so we got married 8 months later. Looking back, that was one of my biggest reasons for marrying him, and I never truly understood marriage as a lifelong commitment back then.
Our first year was exciting, but later we got into the party scene and I reconnected with an old high school friend. That’s when I started questioning whether I wanted a different life entirely. I’ve always imagined myself living more independently, yet I got married so young. I still believe there is a deep love out there. I’m just not sure everyone finds it.
Eventually, I crossed a line emotionally and physically with another guy. I never slept with him, but I still betrayed my husband’s trust, and the guilt eats at me every day. Now I constantly question whether I truly love my husband, whether I should come clean and try to fix our marriage, or whether all of this is happening because deep down I need out. It’s even harder because he wants kids someday and I don’t.
I can’t tell if I’m just going through a quarter life crisis that I need to work through, or if these feelings are proof that this marriage was never right for me in the first place.
Has anyone ever been in this position? Would love to hear what happened.