Finding myself in this world
As the title states I'm currently on my explorative journey with poly. I'm still not really sure if poly fits my exact interests. But I'm posting here in hopes to gain some sort of insight on things I feel like I'm missing.
I split with my partner a few months ago who I was in a monogamous relationship with for quite some time. Mostly due to them being uninterested in the non monogamy lifestyle. As hurtful as it is, poly or non monogamy in general seems to be something I feel like I fit into. And I didn't want to grow any resentment towards them because of my interests. And I feel like because I love them so much they deserve to find their happiness in life too.
I haven't explored any relationships in person but have dabbled with it online and have found a few people who have been very comforting with my exploration into the poly world. But being single for awhile now I am a bit lost on understanding the best way to navigate this new experience.
How do you find your confidence in the poly world? Knowing I have to put myself out there as poly brings some slight fears of being judged without being given an opportunity to experience things.
How has your dating experience gone? Is it less intimidating or difficult to find people who have similar interests than I think? From my experience online so far most say they are understanding until it comes down to the understanding that I am not choosing just them all the time. This results in people being hurt and upset with me and cutting me off completely. I understand it's not for everyone I just worry I'm not being as clear as I should be maybe?
Am I poly or something else?
I know this is a generic question but for context, I thoroughly enjoy making new connections and getting attention from people. I have one person in particular I have been talking to for quite some time who is openly poly and we both are very supportive of one another finding other partners and have slowly grown a relationship together. I guess my concern is obviously there's no limit to the partners I'm able to make. But is there a difference between being flirty/sexual with numerous people without specifically making relationships everytime and poly? I definitely want to be committed to numerous partners but I also want to be available to flirt and fool around as well if that opportunity arises. And I think I'm questionable if there's a space for things like this when it comes to being poly? I find comfort in providing myself a form of a label, meaning I have something to understand for myself better so I can educate myself. So I'm curious if there's a label that falls into the poly world for something like this?
Thank you for any support and suggestions as I find myself in this world!