This helped me understand a lot
I (26M) dated a girl (21F) who I believe had a loud disorganized attachment style. I genuinely loved everything about her and we connected on levels I’ve never experienced with anyone else. She ended things because of her attachment issues, and even though I understand that now, I was never really able to get closure because of the inconsistency. Deep down, I know she cared, which made it even harder to let go.
It’s been 4 months and I still think about her sometimes, but after a lot of reflection I came across Adam Lane Smith’s attachment content. It honestly helped me understand relationship patterns, emotional triggers, communication issues, and explained the difference between avoidant vs loud disorganized. That's also the title of a video of his
Part of me wanted to send the content to her, but I realized there’s a chance I’d just emotionally reattach myself to the situation again. So instead, I figured I’d share it here in case it resonates with someone else going through something similar.
Not saying everything applies to everyone, but it definitely made a lot of things click for me. Watch him on Soft White Underbelly.
TL;DR: Adam Lane Smith’s attachment content helped me better understand confusing relationship dynamics and emotional patterns after a breakup.