u/Arisotura

In my last post: https://www.reddit.com/r/InternalFamilySystems/comments/1t7cf6k/reconnecting_to_my_inner_child_should_i_do/

I talked about my inner child part and the work I've been doing with him.

I seem to have reached a point where the kiddo is happy! It always warms my heart to greet him. I feel genuine love for him. It feels like I'm accessing qualities of myself I've never really seen before.

I'm also noticing the shift in how I feel on a daily basis. I feel happy, energetic, excited about certain things. I feel more of a desire to connect with the people around me. It also feels genuine, and not like temporary drug-induced feelings.

I'm also practicing checking in on my other exile/child parts. Most of them seem pretty happy now, there's still some work to be done...

I imagine there may be more stuff my psyche has in store for me, but I do see the possibility for stability and happiness.

I've had this part come up a while ago... a part I see as my inner child.

A part burdened with a lot of sad emotions and feelings. Feeling unseen and abandoned by everybody, even me (as at some point I constructed myself on the idea of moving past my child self, seeing him as cringe and bad, instead of integrating him).

But this part also has wonderful qualities. He's a little sweetheart, full of energy, boundless imagination and creativity.

The first manifestations of him started to feel a lot like my old depression breakdowns. This inner child part would take over and cry, desperate for some kind of attention... and eventually find himself in a fight against another part trying to silence him. I could distinctly feel the different energies those parts had.

But after a few days, I had enough Self energy to do more than just watch the tug-o-war. I note that when I'm able to muster some amount of Self energy, protectors generally trust me enough to let me negotiate some kind of deal where they let me access the parts they protect, and they stand aside - "you may intervene if this becomes too much".

Inner child part has a lot to say. I have been connecting with him on a daily basis since then, and most of the time, releasing strong emotions. This part seems to be realizing that the world around him has changed a lot: a while ago, he was mourning the loss of my grandparents, who have died several years ago.

Showing him my love feels genuinely heartwarming. We have even done some amount of unburdening (basically burying large piles of burden goop - we felt that burning it would produce toxic fumes).

I've been noticing an upward trend in how I feel in general, as if I was getting closer to my true self: energetic, creative, excited about things, not weighed down by emotional burdens.

I'm concerned because, on one hand, this week I've been starting a new job. It's been great so far, I appreciate the job and the people there are also super nice. It's also a lot to take in, though.

On the other hand, this process with my inner child is still ongoing. I might not have the mental energy or desire to get into IFS work when I get back home from work, but I also don't want to abandon my little sweetheart. I feel that he needs me to be reliably present in order to develop trust, after all he's been through.

As I write this, I've been releasing a bunch more emotions from him.

My concern is, am I doing enough here, or am I missing something? How should I go about balancing this IFS work with my job?