u/Aromatic-Prompt-9973

I staryed Bible college last fall. Its the place ive wanted to go since I was young, and the place I feel God has called me to. Yet here I feel ive never been more Luke warm. The lectures are good, some of the classes are tedious, I've had problems with some of the people there. Everytime I get home and try to pray or read the Bible, im just so bored and uninterested. Everytime I force myself into doing it it stays just as boring and unfulfilling. Its gotten to the point where I wouldn't even think about it when I got home. Theres no hunger or desire. The semester's over and i feel more inclined to read and pray, though it's still hard. Im confused as to why this is happening, most people ive spoken to say that they've been more hungry and on fire for God since they've started, but i just feel Jesus'ed out for lack of better terms. Ive had dry seasons, but theres this complete apathy and disinterest towards it all. I havent been sinning more or tempted more, so i dont know what's going on. If you have skme advice I'd love some.

Edit: I sat down with myself a few days ago and had to genuinely ask myself if i still believed in God since i was so spiritually inactive, and I do fully believe in Him. Theres not a doubt in my mind.

Basically the title. I met this guy online and we hit it off instantly. We were friends for a few months before he admitted that he was attracted to me, and we ended up talking a lot about possibly getting into a relationship. We ended with the understanding that we both do really like each other and want to learn more to possibly get into a relationship.

I have a lot of truama and mental health issues that im working through, and as such I have started to be open with him about it because i don't want to get into a relationship with secrets that will impact us. He asked me all sorts of questions, apologizing for being 'top nosy' but I didnt mind since it was the first time someone was genuinely interested and invested in learning about me. He likes to make dumb penis jokes, which are actually really funny. Hes never said something over the top thats made me feel unsure or freaked out, but i have some truama that has to do with sex so im fragile in that catagory. I haven't told anyone so I planned on just blaming it on my religion and saying i wanted to wait until marraige, but he ended up saying something that triggered me bad and I realized I needed to tell him. i dont blame him for not knowing. i ended up telling him we need tk slow down since sometimes thjngs he says trigger me, and he understood and told me skme things he was going to stop doing to intentionally avoid triggering me. he asked me head on if skmething happened to me and I addmitted something did. he said somethings a few days later that showed me how much he did care and remembers thjbvs about me.

Here's my problem. Its been eleven days since ge last texted me. Hes busy, and has been honest about it. Hes the oldest kid of single mother, so he has to step up a lot and help take care of them since his siblings are much younger. I dont really have a problem with this, as I am in the same boat, and honestly find it admirable that he would take care of them like that and take pride in it. He has had moments where he disappears for a few days, then comes back and we talk like normal. Usually hes been gone for only three or four days, and while it's annoying since I want to talk to him, I do understand. At one point I joked that he was disappearing on me and later that day he reaponded telling me he promises hes not and explaining his situation. I told him i understood and he told me he wants me to text him while he's gone if I want, and he'll respond later. Well, later ​has been eleven days of silence, and im starting tk get antsy. Hes from a different state, so i have no communication with him other than text. Its getting kind of annoying and worrying, and im starting tk wonder if he started to reconsider a relationship with me because of my truama. If that's the case, I do understand. To some people sex is really important and they dont want to wait a long time. I want to have sex eventually but definitely not anytime soon. If it is the case I'd rather him just tell me so im not standing in the dark like an idiot, but i dont want to ask him thereby accusing him of being that shallow. ​​​​

Im very confused, ive never been in any sort of relationship because ive never gotten along with and enjoyed a guy as much as I have with him. Hes been so open about his personal life with his family, vulnerable about his flaws and things he doesnt like about himself. Hes been so understanding and curious about me too, about my family and my struggles. Hes so funny and weird and I really do like and miss him. I want to know more about him and meet him in person one day. We've made plans of other things we can do together while we're long distance, and i am really excited to do it but hes just busy. I should also mention we're both very young, hes graduating this year and i finished my second semester of college. I can imagine senior stuff also has him busy, but i dont know since I had to drop out early due to my mental shit. We're at the end of the achool year so i imagine ge might be swamped.

Anyway yap over. Im unsure what to do. Im fine on my own but I get these spikes where I really really miss and want to talk to him. Its driving me crazy not knowing what's going on and not wanting to add pressure to his life with my possible insecurity (am I being insecure? Clingy?) He checked in around when he first disappeared and sent a small text a while back, but then its been eleven days of quiet. Any advice would be great, thank you.

Basically the title. I met this guy online and we hit it off instantly. We were friends for a few months before he admitted that he was attracted to me, and we ended up talking a lot about possibly getting into a relationship. We ended with the understanding that we both do really like each other and want to learn more to possibly get into a relationship.

I have a lot of truama and mental health issues that im working through, and as such I have started to be open with him about it because i don't want to get into a relationship with secrets that will impact us. I told him about my epicodes and what they're like, and he was super curious. He asked me app sorts of questions, apologizing for being 'top nosy' but I didnt mknd since it was the first time someone was genuinely interested and invested in learning about me. He likes to make dumb penis and sex jokes, which are actually really funny. Hes never said something over the top thats made me feel unsure or freaked out, but i have some truama that has something to do with sex. I haven't told anyone so I planned on just blaming it on my religion and saying i wanted to wait until marraige, but he ended up saying something thag triggered me bad and I realized I needed to tell him. Let me clarify, what he said wasn't bad but it triggered me, so i dont blame him for not knowing.

I stopped texting for like an hour or so to try and get my bearings, then I told him vaguely that I didnt want to go too far with the sex jokes since it triggers and episode. Once again, he started asking questions. Asking me if it was religious or personal, and whether it made me feel scared or gross. I explained a bit to him, then he asked if i had some sort of sex truama, then he quickly added that I didnt need to tell him if I didnt want to. But this was my opening do I admitted that yeah, I do and im working through it. He apologized for what I bad been through, and told me some things he was going to do to keep himself in check, and asked if there was anything I wanted from him. I told him it wasn't anything he could really help, and just asked that he try tk be aware and patient since I am in a trial and error phase. I told him ive never been in any type of romantic relationship so I didn't really know what teiggers it. He was very patient and understanding, and it made me realize I really do like him. We talked for a while after that then both had to go.

Here's my problem. Its been eleven days since ge last texted me. Hes busy, and has been very honest about it. Hes the oldest sibling of a single mother, so he has to step up a lot and help take care of them since his siblings are much younger. I dont really have a problem with this, as I am in the same boat, and honestly find it admirable that he would take care of them like that and take pride in it. Nothing is mkre attractive to me than a man who treats his family right. He has had moments where he disappears for a few days, then comes back and we talk like normal. Usually hes been gone for only three or four days, and while it's annoying since I want to talk to him I do understand. At one point I joked that he was disappearing on me and later that day he reaponded telling me he promises hes not and explaining his situation. I told him understood and he told me he wants me to text him while he's gone if I want, and he'll respond later. Well, later ​has been eleven days of silence, and im starting tk get antsy. Hes from a different state, so i have no communication with him other than text. Its getting kind of annoying and worrying, and im starting tk wonder if he started to reconsider a relationship with me because of my truama. If that's the case, I do understand. To some people sex is really important and they dont want to wait a long time. I want to have sex eventually but definitely not anytime soon. If it is the case I'd rather him just tell me so im not standing in the dark like an idiot, but i dont want to ask him thereby accusing him of being that shallow. ​​​​

Im very confused, ive never been in any sort if relationship because ive never gotten along with and enjoyed a guy as much as I have with him. Hes been so open about his personal life with his family, vulnerable about his flaws and things he doesnt like about himself. Hes been so understanding and cutious about me too, about my family and my struggles. Hes so funny and weird and I really do like and miss him. I want to know more about him and meet him in person one day. We've made plans of other things we can do together while we're long distance, and i am really excited to do it but hes very busy. I should also mention we're both very young, hes (18) graduating this year and i (19) finished my first semester of college. I can imagine senior stuff also has him busy, but i dont know since I had to drop out early due to my mental shit. We're at the end of the achool year so i imagine ge might be swamped.

Anyway yap over. Im unsure what to do. Im fine on my own but I get these spikes where I really really miss and want to talk to him. Its driving me crazy not knowing what's going on and not wanting to add pressure to his life with my possible insecurity (am I being insecure? Clingy?) He checked in around when he first disappeared and sent a small text a while back, but then its been eleven days of quiet. Okay so there's my story, does anylne have advice for me? Thanks.