Bi guys, what attracts you to another man - and what makes you lose interest?
So to clarify, I’m gay, and I’ve noticed a pretty consistent pattern in my dating/attraction life: I seem to attract bisexual men a lot. 😅😂
There have been quite a few situations where a guy seems interested in me, flirts with me, gives me mixed signals, or otherwise makes it seem like there’s something there, but eventually it doesn’t really go anywhere. I’m not asking about one particular guy here—I’ve just become genuinely curious about what bisexual men tend to look for when they’re attracted to another man.
Like specifically, what usually catches your attention in a guy in the first place? Is it primarily physical attraction, or are there specific personality traits, mannerisms, energy, confidence, humor, etc. that really make you interested?
And on the other side, what makes you lose attraction or decide you don’t want to pursue someone anymore? That can be physical, emotional, sexual, behavioral—anything.
I’m also just curious about whether things like masculinity/femininity make a difference for you. Do you tend to be drawn toward masculine guys, feminine guys, somewhere in between, or is that basically irrelevant?
And those of you who have actually dated men, or had situationships with men, what makes the difference between “I’m attracted to this guy” and “I actually want to date this guy”?
Are there things you particularly enjoy about dating another man? Or things that make dating a gay man feel different from dating women?
And if you’ve ever been really attracted to a guy but ultimately backed away from pursuing him because of your sexuality, uncertainty, circumstances, fear, social pressure, etc., I’d be interested in hearing about that too.
I’m genuinely interested in both the physical and emotional sides of this. I feel like I have a somewhat decent understanding of what gay men tend to look for in other men, but I’m much less familiar with how bisexual men experience attraction to men.
Basically, I’m curious what is a “yes” for you when it comes to another guy, and what is an immediate “no”? What makes you think “I actually want to pursue this guy” versus “he’s attractive, but I don’t think I want anything with him”?