Purpose of life
I got everything I dreamed of
Grew up in a below average middle class family, in a village. And I got whatever I or my parents could dream.
School, College? Good academic result. Became a doctor.
Had one romantic relationship and had amazing memories, better than I even imagined.
Post graduation? Yeah. Already enrolled. Not passionate about anymore. I hardly answer anything or try to draw attention even though I know.
I probably won't marry. It's not that I don't want, but not possible. So gradually I have accepted that this is not going to happen. Children? No.
Now at this point, i am searching what's the purpose of my life?
No active dream to chase. Nothing
Money?
I never wanted large sum of money. I already have some on my bank account and I am quite happy with it. Never chased money, never attracted to it. I would make some more within next few years. Very doable.
Love?
I would be happy to have , but I have accepted my fate to be loveless. It was a tough pill to shallow but necessary. I actually loved enough ! Happy and grateful. I never thought that someone like me would get the chance to love anyone of same gender. So yeah, quite happy and fulfilled.
Sex?
Been there, done that!
Career?
What's the point actually? Money or fame? Uhu. Serving? No way.
More studying? Research?
I am tired, boss. Academic glamour is overrated.
Travel and exploring the world?
Introvert. Tried. Didn’t get enough pleasure.
Serving other people? Charity?
Yeah, you might suggest that. Did that. I served,even did my voluntary humanitarian job. Enough of that.
Religious work?
Umm . Well, I am not a religious person and being a homose*ual person , I find it difficult to accept myself doing the religious works where I have been simply denied and told to be hated. But I do believe in God and I consciously don't do any harm to anyone.
I just wonder, what's the point of my life now?
Is it existential crisis?
Is it depression? No . I checked myself with various depression scale .
No purpose, no dream, no ambitions.
Why bother to live? For my parents? They had enough of me. For me? I lived my life fully.
It's not like I want death, but It's actually what's the meaning of taking breath?