Treatment without buying products and while being in repressive environment?
I'm still living with my very traditional Muslim family, so sex is super taboo in my household and something I'm expected to not really engage with. That extends to masturbation and anything related to penetration, including using a tampon. I've been struggling with vaginismus symptoms since middle school (I'm 19 now), but I really can't risk buying products to help like toys, dilators or even lube in case of my parents finding them. The fact that it's a medical issue won't change their views. It's worth noting though that I'm personally an atheist and have been at ease with my sexuality for a long time. So any religious guilt that's contributing isn't entirely conscious, and I don't know what to do about that while still being surrounded by religious doctrine in my daily life. I've tried exercises and breathing techniques but have never been able to insert more than one finger. If anyone else has found success while in a similar situation, how did you go about it?