Husband choosing his friend over me?
Trying to see if I’m over sensitive - long story . I 48, husband 54 have been together for 28 years. He has a friend group since he was in elementary school. One of his friends we will call “Bob” is on his second marriage and divorced about 12 years ago. I had remained friends with his wife. Approx 8 years ago we were at a function and Bob’s new wife started gossiping about his old wife to the friend group. Towards the end of the night I finally had the courage to approach her and ask her not to do that - that I also don’t let the ex wife gossip or speak about her. To make a long story short she told her husband an exaggerated story on how I called her “the second wife” and that basically I don’t like her. This wasn’t true at all, she completely lied and this is not the first time. Bob of course believed his wife and not me and Told my husband he will not hang out with me anymore - and for 8 years I have not seen him. My husband sees him from time to time
Fast forward 5 years ago- I email Bob as my husbands 50th birthday is coming up and invite him and his wife and said it had been 3 years and was hoping to move forward. He responded and flat out told me he would never speak to me again and that he already came to terms that only my husband would be on his life and not me. He did not attend the birthday party.
Now here we are - my husband out of the blue mentions that the old gang wants to get together. Fine whatever , my husband then says he would like to have them over for dinner and this will include John- kind of asked me- I was speechless I’m like well where am I supposed to go and eventually said I guess I can find something to do.
As we get closer to the day I’m getting more upset. He has also suggested he get a hotel for me! Wtf!
Am I being too sensitive ? Is it appropriate he is bringing this man into MY house that has clearly voiced not wanting anything to do with me? And why is Bob even coming to my house after all of this.