How to tell family I am not planning BD party
I come from a very large family, scattered all over the country. There has been a large birthday party for my parent every year for the past 15 years or so. Parent is now in their 90s. It has been only four siblings who have planned every birthday party. Other siblings pitch in, such as buying the cake, but that is the extent of any assistance whatsoever. Everyone else just shows up, eats, enjoys, and exits.
I planned the last two. It is a lot of work, invitations, RSVPs, securing venue, catering, etc.
I have decided to not be involved in the planning of the next party. The rest of my siblings wait to see who is going to plan the party, no one who lives within 10 miles of my parent has offered. It has been a few of us, all states away, who have taken on this Herculean task, a party for 80 people. The birthday is in the fall.
How do I preemptively strike, letting others know that I'm not involved this year? I feel like I know my siblings well enough that they expect someone else to do it. As it is, the siblings who live in the area where parent does, have never planned a party for parent, nor do they visit parent on a regular basis. These siblings live within 15 miles of parent, yet none of them have planned a party. One sibling does visit on the regular but has never attended any party, though sibling lives 5 miles away. l feel like everyone is sitting around waiting to be invited to a party, meanwhile having none of the responsibility of taking their turn.
It has been another sibling and I who have planned the party the past couple of years. Two other siblings have planned before with next to no help. I have already told two of my closest siblings I'm not planning a party this year, that it is someone else's turn, specifically the siblings who live in the area I feel this task should naturally fall to.
I will, if the topic organically comes up, mention to others that I'm not planning this year, but fall will be here before you know it, which would leave no time for anyone to step up.
Just need some advice for not wanting to plan another party for this parent, who by the way, historically has talked shit and has treated me like shit for most of my life, except the past few years when they realized I'm not the bad person they thought I was, or, more realistically, they discovered I could be useful to them. edited for clarity