Ive been with my bf for one year. He was always clear about one thing, that he needed a girl with a clean past.
I was never physical with anyone except him but I did approach a guy when I was 16, let's name him apple, and got together with him for a few hours then we both mutually agreed to just focus on studies. It wasn't even a real relationship.
So then I met my bf, I really liked him and approached him too, and we had a perfect relationship. I put a lot of effort for him. Travelled myself around 2 hours every time to see him, wrote him letters, stood for him in heavy rain on his birthday to give him his gift, unfollowed all the guys on social media except him, gave him flowers (which I never got), cleaned my home to get pocket money from parents so I could buy him snacks he liked, our parents caught using twice but i never left his side.
My mistake: hid the fact I did not propose to anyone. I knew I would lose him, and I was too selfish. So I lied.
Later he found out from apple that I did propose, and he lost his shit. He cursed me so much, said that I have a prostituted mentality. He verbally abused me for many days straight. According to him, not virgin = past experiences = used tissues.
He slut shamed me, said all women who are not pure are devils. And broke up with me.
I know it was my fault for hiding. All i ever did was be loyal to him, put efforts for him, and make him feel the most loved. But all he cared about was that one interaction that happened when I was 16. And his perspective changed forever.