Help, new dad!! Gf and 3 month bed sleeping advice.
My gf and I have a 3 month baby boy. He’s 16.25 lbs and 26 inches long. He’s a smart and strong healthy baby and very loved and attended to.
Im a stay at home dad and my gf works as a remote nurse. We r happy with our roles in the house and we really get shit done!! I love her a lot and she loves me a lot I know this as a fact! Our son was a bit of an unplanned surprise but we were “all in” when we found out she was pregnant. So everything that we been through during this pregnancy is something I 100000% signed up for. We had a pretty rough pregnancy but we managed and after a smooth scheduled C section we now how our healthy boy.
Sooo… the problem is now we have been struggling with this sleep pattern of his. He will not go to sleep unless he’s has contact or breastfeeding. He is also sensitive when try and transfer to the bassinet after feeding. He has been sleeping in between us and have blankets and sometimes rolls to sleeping faced down. She even occasionally will fall asleep breastfeeding him at night and her boob will be in his mouth while they both sleep. Now I know that sounds so scary and it is to me but in her defense we have the owlet and our boy is pretty damn strong. But my concern is that it’s gonna end up hurting him or he’ll even killing him. If I’m being completely honest a part of me wants to just be able to cuddle my gf again and maybe more chances at sex. But I know that is one hell of a journey for her and her sex drive is super low as well as her personal confidence of her body image. Her sex drive use to be high like mine (everyday if not every other day) but not we have only had sex 3-4 times since the 4 week doctor clearance.
Now before you start saying I’m in inconsiderate of what she went through I just want you to hear me out. I’m super aware that her libido levels are low if not 0. I’m aware she’s going through mental and physical change along with this new life form to take care of. I’m a big part of getting my partner back to health and taking care of our kid. I feel it’s not right to say it’s the “hormones” in pregnant or postpartum women and it’s an acceptable thing(rightfully so) and then turn around and not give same understanding about the male hormones. Anyway I’m not making excuses and I would never ever cheat on my partner. I thought she was hot asf during the WHOLE pregnancy including 9 months. I think she’s hot asf now, he’ll I’d make love to her every night right now! But we are just not on that level and embarrassingly I jerk off probably 2-3 a day. We have talked about all of this and the 2-3 times a day part is kinda out of the picture but she knows. I have had talks with her and she listens to me and wants to always work with me. I guess I’m reaching out to experienced people or just looking for some advice.
Recap
Is letting my son sleep between us ok? SIDS? anything I should be worried about?
Am I I dick for feeling the way I do about the whole sex thing? I just hope it gets better or something.
Yall go easy on me man, I’m just trying to figure shit out as I go and I’m taking the hits from life just like you. Good luck and have a good one.