So I’ve had two near falls in the past week as a 29M. I was practicing chastity for 3+ years but developed this subconscious habit where my hand would reach down because my seminal vesicles were full and I’d just leak all day. My mind wanted to ease the tension
That’s how my life was for 2.? years. 4 months of peace after taking chastity seriously and then 2.? years of the tight tension and being sexually crazed. I recently searched online to see how long I’d have before I returned to that state and I guess it takes weeks, not months this time around. So I’m trying to create new memories and new sensations like fraternal hugs that I can rely on and reflect upon for when my mind goes back to trying to satisfy itself.
I was a former masochist before all this. I’ve been aroused when it came to shame ever since I was young lad. But took my faith seriously when I wanted to go wife searching.
So now I’m considering wearing a cup. The last almost fall I woke up filled with fluid, wanting to release (chaser effect?) because of the other previous almost fall I was panicking because what if I accidentally did the habit and released. I ended up releasing anyways just from me searching for barriers to stop my hand. My mind did it with the images alone. An effect of my former masochist self I suppose.
So that’s why I call them almost falls, and my confessor was like, based on what you told me, you didn’t really fall. You went three years this way of trying to preserve yourself.
And now I’m here. I hope there’s good times coming. So, have pity on me. Here’s to what the future has in store for me. To new memories, I guess.
For more about what I was going through here you go. It’s a link of someone describing the type of scenarios people struggling with fullness go through.