u/ArugulaLoverrr

I (26F) have a close friend (25F) who got a little too infatuated with my bf (32M) this summer. She would ask about/talk about him with me all the time, only wanted to hang out gout with me if he would come, I had to ask her to stop talking about him, at on point she asked me if I thought home wrecking was an awful thing to do. One night she got wine drunk, demanded my "rich lawyer boyfriend" come pay for our group's dinner, and said she was in love with him- which was my breaking point. I love this woman she is truly one of my best friends, so I sat her down and confronted her about it in July. She was very apologetic and admitted she was feeling horrible in her own dating life, felt jealous I had bagged a great guy, said she started and SSRI and felt like she wasn't being herself at all, basically she had a lot going on at the time. She always kind been the "boy crazy" friend in our group and has admitted that she gets a little delusional when there's a man in her life. I ended up keeping her and my bf at separate events until she got over it, she got her meds adjusted, took a break from dating for a bit, and she's seeing someone else now. Things were awkward for a bit but went back to normal after a few weeks.

Well, over the weekend I was hanging out with my friends and she was talking about not feeling great with the current guy she's seeing. She said "I just get so delusional when I bring a man into my life. Like with the [boyfriend's name] thing, I was thinking "how far would I actually go with my friend's boyfriend?" which was crazy of me".

I get that she's acknowledging that her thinking was off, but when I initially confronted her she told me she loved our friendship and would never do anything to hurt me, our friendship, or my relationship. I believed her, and her comment is making me doubt that was true. Am I overreacting or was that genuinely a wild and concerning thing to say? How do I talk to her about this or do I just need to accept the end of our friendship??

tl;dr- one of my best friends was infatuated with my boyfriend, got over it, and now says she wondered how far she would have gone with him

Tuesday evening I (26F) went paddle boarding with my bf (32M) and a group of our friends. We were supposed to hit the water at 7, but didn't get in until 7:20 because one person as late and didn't have a pump.

The goal was to be out before dark. We like to paddle on the river, and the locations started at was at a popular local park. There's an island that's popular to paddle out to but the conversation beforehand was that there wasn't enough time to go to the island before it got dark.

We hit the water, and it's super windy. I'm usually a pretty strong paddler, but I couldn't get more than 50 feet from the starting point without getting blown back. At one point everyone was like 200 feet in front of me. I kept trying, but I was just getting knocked around. Eventually my bf circled back and I told him I was going to float back and watch the sunset because I didn't want to hold everyone back. He said okay, he was going to paddle out to our group and let them know what was going on, and then would come right back and find me. Okay cool, should take 15-20 minutes. No one's going to the island or staying out after dark, I float back in like 2 minutes and I get out around 7:45 probably.

I tell him sounds good, I'll be waiting by where we came in. I drag my paddle board out of the water and sit on a bench to watch the sunset. I realize my phone, clothes, and keys are locked in my bf's car- no problem, he's coming right back and it's not dark out yet. 20 minutes go by, a couple of people stop and ask me if I'm okay because I'm sitting alone on a bench with a paddle board. I tell them yes, just waiting on my group. Eventually 30 minutes go by, it's about 8:15 now, it's almost totally dark out, I can't see anyone on the water, and two men approach me. They ask if I'm okay, I say yes. They then ask me if I'm alone, I say no, and that my bf and friends will be back soon. They ask me why my bf left me alone. I ignore them and get up to grab my paddle board and move, and one of them says "Do you not hear him talking to you?". They were just heckling me at that point and yelling shit at me as I walked away. I drag my paddle board over to my bf's car. It's completely dark out now, I'm in a bikini, It's been 30 minutes, these men won't leave me alone and I'm worried they're gonna come back, not many people are around anymore. I sit on the curb and just start sobbing. I try to call my mom and some friends from my Apple Watch but it doesn't work. An older woman (who I think is actually an angel on Earth) saw me crying and came and sat next to me and asked if I was safe and what I needed. I told her what was going on and I was worried about the two men coming back.

I have an ex-boyfriend who drowned several months after we broke up, and it really shook me up when he passed. I was worried my bf had drowned at this point and was on the verge of a panic attack. She helped calm me down. I notice a group of people sitting by the water, I thank her for staying with me and tell her I'm going to go down there and see if I can see my group of people. It's about 8:35ish now. As I'm walking down, I see my bf dragging his paddleboard up. He sees me and drops his board and runs over to hug me, I'm still crying, he's apologizing over and over and telling me how sorry he is. I'm just crying because I'm so relieved at this point. I can tell he's really beating himself up, he's so apologetic and keeps saying how sorry he is over and over again. He says he lost track of time and didn't think about all of my stuff being locked in his car (that's fine, I didn't think about it either). Our friends got out of the water like 10-15 minutes later. He ended up taking me to get ice cream to cheer me up and we had a nice time.

I know part of this is on me, because I didn't have a dry bag for my stuff and didn't think to ask for his keys. I also felt like there were no clear expectation about what was going to happen so I can't be upset, I just thought we was going to come right back. When I got home that night, someone in the groups sent selfies on them on the island watching the sunset and having drinks- and my bf was in them. I got a little upset because that was never the plan, and I was sitting in the park getting harassed in a bikini while they were sipping on canned Margz, which is FINE. I'm not mad at them, but I wish my bf had come back like he said he would. I don't want to ruin the fun, but if he wanted to stay out I wish he had told me that instead of saying he'd be right back. I would have figured something out.

I just don't want to be overdramatic about this because I'm fine now. I know I was only alone for 30ish more minutes than planned, but a lot happened in that time. My boyfriend is such an amazing guy and makes me so happy, I know he's really be hard on himself over this. I don't want to make it worse, I just feel like I need a conversation to make sure this doesn't happen again. How would you approach this??? I just don't wanna rub salt in the wound.

tl;dr- bf accidentally left me alone, in the dark, without my stuff. I wasn't upset at first but now I have a lot of feelings. How do I approach this in a way that isn't just me lecturing him?

My (26F) boyfriend (32M) of six months has an ex-best friend/ex-FWB (35F, I think) who is currently about to get married. She cut him off a year ago because he didn't reciprocate her romantic feelings. Her engagement/soon to be marriage has recently been a topic of conversation because my bf asked me if I thought he should reach out to her and I said no, since she was the one to cut him off. I've talked to a couple of my friends about the whole situation because it's kinda baffling.

Last night, my friend sent me a reddit post that I think his ex-fwb wrote. In the post, this woman talked about still having feelings for her ex-bestfriend and said that she hates his new gf, despite not knowing her at all. She also said that seeing her on his Instagram makes her simultaneously feel sick and angry.

Th post identified the new gf as an 8th grade science teacher at an all-girls school. That is exactly what I do. She found that out by looking the gf's name. I go by a shorter version of my full name, my full name is on my school's website and my nickname is on my instagram. I googled myself using both just to see and my school website popped up both times. She also mentioned things about my relationship that seem way too specific to be coincidence, like the boyfriend frequently reposting stories she tags him in (true), and me drawing little hearts around our faces (true) and writing “cringy” captions (guilty as charged).

I know I can't prove that the account is hers, it looked like it was a throwaway/burner, but the number of details that line up makes me feel pretty confident that it is.

I'm really debating whether I should tell my boyfriend about the post. It's been deleted but I have screenshots. Part of me thinks he deserves to know she still has feelings for him and has gone as far as posting about me on reddit. I feel a little hypocritical saying that because when my boyfriend starting bringing her up I looked her up on instagram to see what she looked like, but I never looked up her job or dug for info on her. Another part of me worries that bringing it up will create a bunch of unnecessary drama, especially if it leads to a confrontation. She's getting married and I don't want to insert myself into whatever unresolved feelings she has. I don't want to mess with crazy at all.

I literally did not sleep last night. My only comfort is that she lives 10 hours away and will probably not put in the effort to ever actually confront me in person. What's the best way to approach this?

tl;dr- friend sent me a reddit post that I think was made by my boyfriend's ex-best friend/ex-fwb