u/ArugulaNo3978

Mineta: 🎶"I'm a b*tch, my name's 'Lander, such a b*tch, who's named Homelander"🎶

Homelander: For f*cks sake...

Mineta: 🎶"I'm a b*tch, yeah, i'm a b*tch, I'm such a f*cking b*tch"🎶

Homelander: Can someone tell him to shut up?

Mineta: 🎶"I have no hopes, and no dreams, and a tiny little peen~"🎶

Homelander: WAIT, WHAT?

Mineta: 🎶"And it doesn't even function anyway~, because i have a erectile disfunction~"🎶

Homelander: THAT'S IT, YOU'RE F*CKING DEAD- **gets bodyslammed by Deku**

Deku: You were right Minoru, it does feel nice bullying him, i mean i know i should be the last person to advertise bullying but with someone like him, It feels great

Mineta: Told you bro

(Based on the song: "loser, baby")

Homelander: **bleeding on the floor from all the crossover matchups**

Mineta: 🎶So things look bad~, and your back's against the wall~🎶

Homelander: Grr...

Mineta: 🎶Your whole existence seems f*cking hopeless~🎶

Mineta: 🎶You're feeling filthy~, like a divebar bathroom stall~🎶

Mineta: 🎶Can't face the world~, sober and dopeless~🎶

Mineta: 🎶You've lost~, your way~, you think your life is wrecked🎶

Mineta: 🎶Well let me just say you're-🎶

Mineta: 🎶CORRECT!~🎶

Homelander: Wait, what?!

Mineta: 🎶You're-🎶

Mineta: 🎶A-🎶

Mineta: 🎶LOSER, HOMIE~🎶

Mineta: 🎶A LOSER! GODDAMN BABY~🎶

Mineta: 🎶YOU'RE A-, F*CKED UP LITTLE WHINY B*TCH🎶

Homelander: HEY!

Mineta: 🎶YOU'RE A LOSER, WORSE THAN ME!🎶

Homelander: WELL F*CK YOU TOO, A**HOLE!

In the living room, Denki is sitting on a couch and stares at a cake really sophisticated

Denki: Ok, first question... Can I eat you?

Cake: (with Mineta's voice) No Kaminari, you can't eat me!

Denki: What if I gave you a hat?

Mineta(cake): If you eat me i will die!

Denki: Ok... Second question, WHY ARE YOU A CAKE?

Mineta(cake): I... insulted someone with a cake quirk

Denki: They do have funny hats...

Mineta(cake): That's what I said!... sooo, you're gonna help me?

Denki: *grabs a piece of cake* Yeah... Now how do I-

Mineta(cake): PUT ME DOWN!

Denki: Sorry, sorry! I didn't-... you look really good.

Denki: *licks his fingers* Wait! Maybe sciencie has the answer?

Denki then turned into a scientist outfit and a chalkboard appeared behind him

Denki: *writes on the chalkboard* If my calculations are correct, the only thing that can reverse quirk effects is a high dosage of potassium and sodium chloride, commonly found in...

Denki: ...Stomach acids, oh my goodness, Mineta...

Denki: ...Get in my mouth!

Mineta(cake): STOP TRYING TO EAT ME!

Denki then hit the chalkboard so hard that it fell down out of anger

Tsuyu then came in to the room

Tsuyu: Oh hey, that's a cake, can i have a slice?

Denki: Fine...

Tsuyu: *tries to reach for the cake*

Mineta(cake): Tsu don't! It's me!

Tsuyu: *pulls back her hand* Oh, Mineta's a cake.

Denki: Yup...

Tsuyu: Did you insult someone with a cake quirk again?

Mineta(cake): Ye-e-es.

Denki: And he won't let me eat him!

Tsuyu: What? Did you offer him a hat?

Denki: Yes!

Tsuyu: That's weird.

Mineta(cake): Guys, I really want to stop being a cake!

Denki and Tsuyu then sit down on the couch

Tsuyu: What if the person is a villain you have to capture?

Denki: Yeah, what if he has a goal against you?

Mineta(cake): Like what?

Tsuyu: Well, you're not very generous.

Denki: Yeah, you know, a generous friend would let me HAVE SOME CAKE.

Mineta(cake): The cake IS your friend!

Denki: *points at him* You're a liar!

Tsuyu: Hold on! I've got it.

Later...

Tsuyu: There.

Mineta(cake): *with googly eyes* Yeah, you just put googly eyes on me.

Tsuyu: Well you look more like you used to.

Denki: Oh, Mineta, you're back!

Mineta(cake): No! Still a cake!

Denki: Oh.

Mineta(cake): Any more bright ideas?

Denki then pulled out some candles with a smirk

Later again...

Mineta(cake): *with candles on top of him* Now i'm on fire! And still a cake...

Tsuyu: Okay. I've got this.

Later one more time...

Mineta(cake): *with a hat* Now I just have a hat on!

Denki: You look good though.

Mineta(cake): I feel good!

Denki: Good enough to eat?

Mineta(cake): No!

Denki hits the chalkboard that was behind them for some reason

Mineta(cake): Look, do you guys actually know how to turn me back into a human?

Tsuyu: No, ribbit.

Denki: No. (Is that what we were doing?)

Mineta(cake): Great, i'll just keep on being a cake...

Suddenly, someone was teleported into the room but was facing behind them

Cake quirk person: Yes! It is me- *realises they're facing the wrong way* Ah, damnit *turns around*

Cake quirk person: Yes, it is me! The one that turned your friend into a cake! And if you ever want to see him again, you must answer me, these riddles three! Number one-

The person was punched in the face by Denki and then knocked out

Then suddenly, Mineta turned back into a human

Mineta: ... I'm back. *really shocked*

Tsuyu: Oh, hey Mineta.

Denki: Hey man. (Where did the cake go?)

Mineta: How did you know that punching that guy would turn me back?

Denki: What? No, I just think that cake quirk people are dumb.

Tsuyu: He did have a funny hats...

Mineta: That's what I said!

Denki: High five dude!

Mineta tried to reach out his hand for a high five but then realised...

Mineta: WHERE'S MY ARM?!

Denki: *with purple blood on his mouth* I had like, ONE slice!

Mineta: *in pain* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHHHH!!!!