I've been working out for years now. I started going to the gym around 4 years ago and I've built some muscle. Not nearly good enough for four years but enough to not make me feel skinny anymore.
But even though I'm not skinny anymore I still hate my body maybe even more than before. I think I didn't really hate my body before but I do now. Let's leave aside the fact that I look nothing like a guy who's been working out for 4 years. I've failed nearly at every aspect of it except training hard.
Maybe I always had this much fat or maybe I gained it trying too hard to not be skinny but I can't stand it. I've tried every tactic in the book to try and stay consistent build habits lowering the bar extremely low. But nothing has worked.
I hate my body right now. Some nights I can't stand myself. It doesn't help that I'm failing at every other aspect of my life as well. I am still a virgin, I went to a psychiatrist I was diagnosed with dysthymia and adjustment disorder. I'll put an image of the prescription.
I don't really have a shirtless pic but I will attach the latest pic of myself so you can make out what I probably look like and how much fat I have. I don't know what I'm looking for from this post but I just couldn't bear this feeling anymore.
I am not doing enough to see results. I am not maintaining enough consistency to see my body change. I've been letting go very easily just eating junk, low protein foods, high calorie or processed foods. I don't have enough money to keep buying protein and because I'm Indian and don't eat meat protein is extremely difficult. I feel stuck and I feel like a failure. I don't know what to do.