u/Asaltydaniel

hello! this post might be long and all over but im gonna do my best to explain stuff.

around 2008-2012 I was trick or treating, and a house i stop at every year always does a huge haunted house.
i remember seeing an animatronic on the porch, I believe it was about 4ft-4 1/2ft tall.
it was sitting or kneeling, it's hands covering it's face, and was wearing a white outfit. I believe it was like a dress? very tattered looking and a bit bloody.
when you went up to it/activated the motion sensors, it screamed and moved the hands away from it's face, ripping the face off it.
it can't be the face ripper bride from spirit since spirit never officially sold it. spirit was around my area at the time so im suspecting it CAN be from spirit, but potentially from other places selling Halloween animatronics/props.

if anyone has any ideas, or any information on what this can be I'd absolutely appreciate it. im also going to be searching for information after posting this and will update if I find stuff lol.
thank you!

hello, this is a rant/ramble but has trigger warning because it will get heavy.
my name is Jules and I've been diagnosed with schizophrenia since I was 6 years old.
I've been on every medication they can give me and recently, I've been upped on my lybalvi to max dosage.
my schizophrenia consists of hallucinations (figures, people, items, bodily, auditory) and mixes with my ptsd.
I was doing great for a while!
I even got a job I like and have been holding good for a few months!
but now im feeling myself getting worse, and worse, and worse.
I was in trauma therapy starting age 13, then they took me out at 18. i tried normal therapy, and it doesn't help. it feels like catching up with a friend and I hate that. I'm in trauma therapy again, and they said im "too complicated to treat". so now im in group therapy and that honestly makes me feel even worse.
I am filled with thoughts to harm myself because the hallucinations are telling me to do it. and to hurt others. I NEVER act on these things, especially hurting others. I can keep those thoughts and feelings concealed very very well. but bottling things up is making me worse.
I feel myself slipping away more and more.
the stress I'm under right now with work, family, my health. it's making things worse.
i feel like I'm stuck in a loop all the time. wake up, shower, go to work, come home, pick at dinner, maybe play a game online, go to bed, repeat. it is a loop I repeat every single day and I can't do it. I feel trapped. everything in my head hurts. I'm getting piercing migraines again from everything. the hallucinations get in my dreams, they get so real.
im scared I'm losing myself. Im scared I'm going to do something I'll regret to myself. I'm scared. I do not feel in control. i feel like a puppet to my own mind.
I'm not the same as I was a year ago. I'm genuinely worse. i don't eat, I barely sleep, i don't socialize besides close friends and family. barely at work too. I'm always in fight or flight and always having meltdowns.
i don't know what to do.
im terrified.
and i want to get out of my head. i want whatever is happening to me to quit.
im sorry this is long, i just needed to let this out somewhere that maybe someone can relate to this situation or is understanding about everything.
my word slop feels like a long run on sentence and i apologize if it's too much.
thank you for reading