Thinking I might be non-binary
Probably a common post on here but honestly just need somewhere to express my thoughts.
I've always been a very androgynous person, I was very much a tomboy growing up (AFAB), and I reject every feminine thing offered to me (hated dresses, I can't stand makeup, I hate having long hair because of texture adversion). Once my mom stopped forcing me to shave, I felt very comfortable with being hairy. I don't feel like a man at all and hate being referred to as such, but I'm not sure if being referred to as a woman feels right, except for the following:
- Family/relationship terms (ex, daughter, girlfriend, etc)
- When accomplishing things ("she graduated!"/"she drew that")
- Pet names
But I tried labelling myself as she/they and that didn't feel right either. I also feel a very close connection to my sexuality (lesbian) so it makes things even weirder. I don't like labels such as butch or masc, but I know my style isn't feminine either, I think I thrive in feeling androgynous.
I have noticed I feel more comfortable when referred to as they outside of the stuff I listed above, too
I also both hate and love my chest. I enjoy the idea of binding but I'm unsure if I'd ever want to remove my chest entirely. But I also get envious of others who have flat chests and don't have to worry about it 😭
And the embarrassing thing is I think a video game character was my awakening towards all of this.
This is all so confusing and overwhelming