I hate that I'll always be kweer
The moment I tell any kweer person I'm transsex, I'm suddenly a kweer icon in their eyes. Means nothing that I'm heterosexual and have zero desire to challenge gender norms in any transformative way. They don't care. I'm "gender envy." I'm one of the girls. I'm supposed to understand Twitter discourse and use the right terms and take pride in my body's inability to cooperate with my soul's desires.
They expect me to be different somehow from any other heterosexual young man. When they realize that I'm not, besides the fact that I was dealt the shittiest hand imaginable biologically, they're uncomfortable. I was supposed to be one of the good ones! What about my wombanly past and deep, innate understanding of the XX plight? How dare I betray my sisters?
I'm sick and tired of this. I would just be your average mentally ill man if I didn't have to live with this stupid disability.
These people are almost always disappointed that my ideal relationship dynamic is hetero. I'm not doing my part to challenge the oppressive binary apparently. I only like women because they make me feel more manly. It's all just me trying too hard to "perform" gender.
Just misgender me at this point. I cannot. I give up. I will never be able to love a woman the way I want to. Everything I do will always be subversive or novel.