I don’t really know where to post this, but I’m hoping someone might relate or have insight.
Lately I cry before work and sometimes at work because I genuinely do not want to be there. What’s confusing is that the crying and depressed feeling seem to have really increased since starting clonazepam, while at the same time I’ve noticed a massive improvement in my anxiety.
Before clonazepam, my anxiety was severe and constant. When I was driving, I would get so freaked out that my whole body would tense up. If there was any unexpected sound, I would jump. I would have massive anxiety before entering rooms or walking into situations. I constantly second-guessed myself, questioned everything, replayed conversations, and ruminated nonstop. My nervous system always felt activated and on edge.
Since being on clonazepam, I don’t really do that anymore. The physical tension, hypervigilance, constant second-guessing, and nonstop anxious spiraling have decreased dramatically. In that sense, it has been genuinely helpful.
But even though the anxiety is much better, I now feel more sad than anxious. I cry more easily, especially before work or at work, and I feel emotionally heavy.
Before clonazepam, I may have been anxious, stressed, and overwhelmed, but I don’t remember feeling this depressed. That’s what is confusing me.
For a long time I looked “normal” and high functioning. I was upbeat, productive, smiley, and people probably assumed I was fine. But internally I was struggling and using being busy, successful, and pleasant to cope.
I also have a significant trauma history, and I’m wondering if years of survival mode are catching up with me now that the anxiety has quieted down.
Medication-wise, propranolol and bupropion helped in some ways. Then I started clonazepam, and while it has clearly helped my anxiety, I’m trying to understand why I feel sadder and cry more.
Has anyone else experienced this—less anxious but more depressed/emotional after starting clonazepam? Or when anxiety finally calmed down, sadness surfaced underneath?
I’m trying to understand whether this is:
- a clonazepam side effect
- underlying depression becoming more noticeable once anxiety lowered
- burnout after chronic anxiety
- trauma catching up with me
- work stress hitting me harder now that I’m calmer
Would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has gone through something similar.