u/AshamedPlan4919

I(F18)recently went to a tailor to get some clothes altered. I asked him to take all my measurements (bust, waist, etc.) so I wouldn't have to keep coming back for more alterations.

While he was measuring me, I expected him to measure my bust because that's necessary. But when he was measuring my waist, he pressed into my breast in a way that didn't feel necessary. It felt forced, and it made me really uncomfortable. I was with my younger sister, and I was so confused in the moment that I didn't know how to react. I just went home.

Later, I called my boyfriend and told him what happened because I was feeling really shaken and confused. Instead of acknowledging what I said or asking if I was okay, he started changing the topic. I told him, "You don't even care about what just happened," and hung up. Later, he texted asking what was wrong, and I said, "You don't care about my feelings." He replied that he was only trying to distract me and make me feel better.

I don't know how to share more things with him anymore

LET ME GIVE YOU NAMES FOR CONTEXT (THESE AREN'T THEIR REAL NAMES):

Friend A (18F): Nancy (the title)

Friend B (18F): Maxine

Friend C (18F): Missy

My Cousin (19M): Tyler

I've been friends with Maxine, Nancy, and Missy since kindergarten. Maxine and I have always been the closest, but we were all part of the same friend group.

During the pandemic, Nancy and I became even closer because she lived near my house. We used to hang out all the time, go to each other's houses, and spend a lot of time together.

Missy could be annoying sometimes—not because I hated her, but because she'd throw tantrums if we didn't bring snacks for her. Nancy would constantly complain about her, saying things like, "She's so annoying," but the second Missy showed up, Nancy would completely switch up and act like nothing had happened. We were only 12 or 13, so I didn't think much of it.

By Grade 8, Missy had repeated a year, and by Grade 9 she was a grade behind us. We had a big friend group, and I thought we had all moved past the earlier drama.

But then Nancy and Missy started ignoring the rest of us. They'd avoid us or barely talk to anyone else. Eventually, Maxine and I asked Nancy what was going on and whether they didn't like us anymore. She told us everything was fine.

Back when we were in Grade 10, I noticed something that really bothered me. Missy would always say, "Guys, please don't make me feel left out," but then she'd end up doing the exact same thing to other people.

Whenever Nancy and Missy were together, it felt like the third person was always left out. They'd get so caught up with each other that whoever else was with them would end up feeling invisible.

Another thing that bothered me was how Nancy would tell me about plans she had with other people that she knew I wasn't part of. I never expected to be included in everything—that wasn't the issue.

For example, one day she told me that Maxine had invited her over to make pizza, even though she knew I wasn't invited. Another time she casually told me that after we graduated from high school, she and Maxine were planning to dye their hair together.

Again, I wasn't upset because they made plans without me. They were free to hang out with whoever they wanted. It was the way she would tell me about those plans that made me feel left out.

I can't say she was intentionally trying to hurt me, but the way she brought those things up sometimes felt like she was rubbing it in my face. Whether that was her intention or not, that's how it made me feel.

The biggest reason I stopped talking to her happened last year.

At the time, we were living in the same area for our studies, which happened to be close to my cousin's house. Since my cousin, Tyler, is only a year older than me, I'd often go over and hang out with him. I was actually the one who introduced Nancy to my cousins, and she eventually became friends with Tyler.

I never had a problem with that. I don't care if my friends become close with my cousins, siblings, or anyone else in my family.

What hurt me was how she acted whenever Tyler was around. It felt like she completely forgot I existed. It's not that I expected all of her attention or didn't want her to have other friends. It was just that she'd focus entirely on Tyler, and it would feel like we were never even friends. I'd end up feeling left out around my own family.

Then I eventually found out that she'd been talking about me behind my back to Tyler. Hearing that really hurt because I genuinely considered her one of my close friends. I never expected her to speak negatively about me to my own cousin.

When I found out, I confronted her. I told her that the issue was never that she became friends with my cousin. The real reason I didn't want to continue the friendship was because she constantly made me feel left out, treated me differently whenever she was around my family, and, most importantly, finding out that she had been talking behind my back completely broke my trust. That was the real deal-breaker for me

THERE'S STILL SO MUCH MORE TO THIS STORY. IF YOU GUYS WANT TO HEAR THE REALLY CRAZY PARTS, I'LL MAKE A PART 2..(with details)

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