u/Ashamed_Assistant_70

I'm 23 and live in a pretty conservative country.
I have had fantasies of getting manhandled by men and taking it up my ass but I still like girls (both sexually and romantically). I'm so confused by my fantasies and everything.
Any ideas of what to do or what can I do?
(P.s I even bought a dildo for myself to try out but it kinda hurts taking it up there.)