r/askgaybros

Life just isn’t for everyone. It’s great for some people, alright for others, but I think there will always be people that would prefer to just not exist.

I’m not talking about people that are in a crisis, or sad about something that happened with their lives. But something a lot more “existential”.

And don’t even get me started with just calling something a “mental illness”. Historically even “hard science” has been influenced by our social existence, just look to see how women were diagnosed with mental health issues when they were cooped up at home essentially forced to be domestic slaves or how people from Africa were labelled to be “scientifically inferior”. The mouthpieces of institutions will say whatever will guarantee the survival of their institutions, even if it means throwing humanity under the bus. We live in a world dominated by capitalist social relations so the “experts” will say whatever guarantees the pursuit of profit. People choosing to leave this existence means no profit will be made.

Now, that’s not me saying that the majority of people will choose to leave anyway. I heavily doubt it. They will do what they will do. It confuses me but hey I’m sure what I say confuses them. Just a difference of opinion.

For people like me, existence is just not worth it. I find that this world is full of suffering, brutality, annoyances, and all really for nothing in the end. No guarantees of achieving happiness, world peace, or whatever we’re told to stay around for. It all outweighs any good feelings, or moments of joy, for me at least.

I don’t have kids. Never plan on having them. Existence is just too cruel. Plus, it’s a little weird to make something knowing that one day it will die by any random means. Do you think your parents thought of that before making you?

Anyway, this isn’t a cry for help or advice. Just something I figured I would write out and see if anyone has felt the same. I figure that some of them who had probably aren’t here anymore, to be fair. Alright, congrats on making it this far. So, the question is: have you felt the same or similar?

TLDR: Some people just don’t like existing and would rather return to nothingness. Are you one of them?

Top here.

Find it oddly satisfying when a bottom doesn’t want to cum. I’m pretty generous usually and will make sure they cum if they want to, but find it really hot when a guy says no, they just want me to finish. Even hotter if I can make them cum hands free without ever touching while I finish properly.

Any bottoms relate to this or have any feelings about it?

I’ve seen some people say that if a very masculine gay man prefers another very masculine gay man, it’s “internalized homophobia.” How does that even make sense? I think many people don’t actually know the definition of internalized homophobia.

Why should a very masculine gay man be with a feminine gay man if that’s not his preference? Why is it considered okay for a feminine gay man to prefer a very masculine gay man, but suddenly a problem when a very masculine gay man prefers another masculine gay man?

I actually think that mindset can be more influenced by heteronormative thinking. It’s like saying masculine and masculine cannot go together because it doesn’t fit the typical “masculine and feminine” dynamic.

Masculine + feminine = acceptable, because it resembles the traditional masculine/feminine structure.
Masculine + masculine = questioned, even though attraction and preferences are personal.

I’m not even very masculine myself, but this way of thinking bothers me

If someone thought I was straight, and another person called me masc, they would say not at all. But the moment someone finds out I'm gay, they talk about how surprised they were, and immediately follow with how masc I am. I wouldn't consider myself masc, just a normal guy.

Seems like the scale of how masc one is changes whether you are gay or straight.

Im just wondering

Hi 39M here. Most of the time when I bottom, I get hard and leak a little bit of precum. The times I actually cum are usually because I'm masturbating at the same time. A few times I've cum hands-free or while soft, and even fewer times I've felt like I was about to blow but it turned out to just be pee.
Yesterday, I got topped by two bears. One of them was giving me these super deep thrusts, and I felt like I was going to cum at the end of every single one. By the third or fourth time, a little squirt of what I thought was semen came out, but when I looked, it was completely clear. I thought it was precum, but it wasn't that thick, and when I tasted it, it had a slight semen flavor. What blew my mind is that it must have happened like 30 times like every time he thrust, a little more would leak out at the end of the push. I'm not usually a heavy leaker, but this time a lot came out, I left everything soaked. Afterward, the other bear topped me and nothing; I was still horny and could keep fucking, but he couldn't make me leak like that. When we switched back and the first guy fucked me again, he made me squirt liquid with every single thrust all over again.
I don't know exactly what it was. Based on how it felt, I assume it was coming out because of the pressure on my prostate, but this had never happened to me before. It felt like having 50 micro-orgasms, and later when I tried to finish by masturbating, I couldn't.
I don't know if this had anything to do with it, since I don't drink much and barely ever smoke weed, but yesterday I was super drunk and high.
Has this happened to anyone else, or does anyone know what this is? Obviously, I asked the bear to come over today to experiment some more.

Like be contented to wake up every morning with him beside you? As we grow old do we lose our standards and settle for the nice guy? I’m just curious.

Mine and my bfs anniversary is coming up, and I want to try bottoming for him. Normally I'm the top but he's recently expressed some interest in it so I thought it'd be a good opportunity. I'm about 10 inches taller then him, at about 6'6. Sex can be a bit awkard logistics wise when I'm topping, and I'm not 100% sure on this but I can see it being the same in a different way when he's topping. I really want do missionary, and any others that'd be intimate and not to difficult, so I'm wondering if any of you guys with more experience than us could offer some advice!

To be honest, I'm pretty nervous about it for more then one reason, so any advice about this and in general would be appreciated, thanks :)

I’m a 23 gay male, conservative background, never dated a girl or a guy before. Still a virgin. No one knows I’m gay, although maybe some people might suspect I am. I have a full-time job, live on my own with my own apartment and don’t rely on parents or anyone. I personally do not know anyone who is gay and I don’t have anyone to talk to about this. I have no interest in a hookup. I am not into the bar scene or am scared to use online apps like Grindr. I would like to meet/date another man who is around my age and serious about a relationship. I’m also shy, which probably doesn’t help. Any advice as to how to start? Thank you in advance!

The issue is I have always been a bottom, and derive almost no pleasure from topping. I can get a strong enough erection to penetrate but can't keep it once inside. It doesn't do me any good 😭

I get off on serving men, so I thought I could trick myself by doing this as an act of service but it just isn't working.

Does anyone have any tips for learning how to top? Or finding pleasure in topping/advice on how to proceed?

Just had a Grindr hookup with this discreet guy who wanted to stay blindfolded the whole time.

When I got there he was already naked on his knees waiting by the door like a slutty dog. Voice sounded familiar but I couldn’t place it at first.

Then during sex it suddenly clicked.

He is the senior guy from my previous company, different department but we definitely knew each other. Married, TO A WOMAN.

Pretty sure he still has no idea it was me because I left before he properly saw my face. but now he keeps messaging saying he wants a round two.

Would you tell him who you are or keep the fantasy going? feel bad for his wife but feel bad not fucking that tight slutty hole 😅

If a short time: do you douch again, are you sore for a while, do you do anything to revert “back to normal”, etc…

Ok just want to know if I’m overreacting or justifiably upset. I was in the phone with my other gay friend and we have hooked up with the same guy.

He apparently wasn’t into it, but I was, because the guy was really hot. So I said yeah “he had a great body” and he replied “well I have a great body too, but I still didn’t think he was that attractive.”

I made a self-deprecating joke and said “well my body isn’t that great, so makes sense I was more into it haha” To which he replied “yeah you don’t, so makes sense.” I was a bit taken aback and told him that was kinda crazy to say, and he said “well do you want me to be fake and tell you that you have a good body when you don’t?”

For context, I used to be super skinny and have always hated how I look, but now go to the gym and get compliments from my straight friends/family about how healthy I look. But I still have some body issues, especially with how high standards are in the gay community. So am I being overly sensitive right now? I get I kind of set him up with the self-deprecating joke, but wasn’t expecting him to co-sign it and double down.

Guys just can't help themselves and automatically start making homoerotic innuendos and they won't stop making it the butt of their jokes. Weeks can go by and all is normal then the topic comes back and teasing ensues. Many resort to saying "hell NAW, you like man ass, etc" to the other straight guys.

I know it's how straight guys or guys in general tease with no depth to it but they can get lascivious about it.

How does your workplace handle your big assets?

So I’m a chef and manager at a restaurant, we just opened a few months ago and we were doing some hiring for summer.

A couple weeks ago I get a message on Grindr from this guy I know around town , we’ve hooked up a couple times over the years but don’t really know eachother other than work interactions (both I the service industry) and running into eachother around town.

Well we’ve been flirting a bit then he asked me about how we were hiring. He’s good server so I told him if he was interested to come talk to me at the restaurant. He did, we hired him, and when I did we talked about keeping work stuff separate from personal. Anyway he worked a couple shifts with where I trained him, and would send a flirty text or after the shift or what not. Well Sunday after my shift he texts and wants to get together and his words ‘get nakeed’

We meet up and have a quick hook up , swap oral and fuck before he’s gotta go do something that night and we leave it with a see you at work on wends.

Well today’s wendsday and this morning I send a text “Hey J- will you bring in your id and social security so I can get a copy to payroll”

I get this response several hours later “ Hey man. Feeling pretty anxious about what’s going on surprisingly. I’m unsure if it’s good for me to be blending complex dynamics. Having some pretty bad anxiety “

My response “Ok no worries- can keep things professional , work related”

Him several hours later, 30 min before hes supposed to be there “i don’t think I’ll be able to make it in “ and stops responding

Seriously wtf. Then I had to call my boss and go over the whole thing and explain why the new guy I had been talking up isn’t going to show up this weekend and show her Grindr messages and texts to explain the situation and what happened. All this on a Holliday weekend

I hate men. lol the sex was not good enough for this stress

I’m 29 years old, and have recently accepted that I am attracted to men. (Whether I’m actually gay or bi is still being worked out) But despite acknowledging this within myself, I’m really struggling with the idea of ever admitting it out loud because……….I don’t want to prove everyone right.
All my freaking life, people wouldn’t just assume I was gay, they’d claim it as fact, when I never told anyone anything.
Growing up I would over hear my parents referring to me as “the gay son”.
I’m the youngest of 5 boys, all of which were athletic and cool growing up, and they would always torment me for being different, and claim I was a girl. (Once two of my brothers locked me in their room until I just outright admitted to them that I was gay.)
At school, the other kids would always be like “oh he’s gay”, or “he likes boys”, and it cost me several new male friendships because they didn’t want to be associated with someone who might be gay.
Even now as an adult, at work people still just assume I’m gay, and I’ve even heard coworkers talking about me asking one another if I was straight up gay, and when I approach them about it they’d always be like “Oh nothing, hAhAhA.”
Im honestly sick of it, and it’s the reason why I refuse to ever admit it, because I know everyone’s going to throw out the “I knew it!”, “I told you so!”, or “I called it from miles away.”, and I’m just sick of people thinking they know me better than me, whether they’re right or not.

I’m just wondering if any other men have ever had an experience like this, and if so what did you do to overcome it???
I’m sure this is something that could easily be tackled with therapy, but I really just plan on eventually getting the heck out of my city and cutting everyone off.
I love the idea of moving somewhere and being able to start new where I can introduce myself to people and not have them think they know me.

I've been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend for about one year - we are compatible in many great ways. When it comes to our sex life, neither of us is particularly horny but we do like to show each other affection. I get hard easily; he doesn't as much. But we generally don't have trouble getting each other off.

My boyfriend is more of a nonverbal guy, but generally we communicate well. But I wonder sometimes whether he's really happy with our sex life - whether it's enough, whether he's physically attracted, and whether he wants more. He always says he's satisfied, but I don't get the sense that he's hot for me all the time. And that's fine - I'm completely happy with his body, and I enjoy being naked and intimate with him, even when we don't ... well... cum. I'm a top and he's bottom but he doesn't love anal and frankly I don't need to do it every time. We like each other's cocks. And I'd say we have good sexual chemistry - I love how he smells, I love how his body feels, and I love our mental and emotional connection.

I'd love to hear what you guys think about sexual satisfaction in your relationships - current, past, or aspirational/future. What keeps you interested? What would you consider good sex? Do you lose the spark after a while? How do you show that you're still very into a guy/partner/husband/etc?

❤️

I want to cum before bed , I want to text about wha desires I have and more .