u/Ashamed_Milk5148

I feel distant. I’ve felt this way since forever. I grew up in the church and I feel like I’ve desensitized myself to the greatness of God. Like yeah he loved me and died for me and cool but ig I feel my unworthiness and sinful behavior diminishes it. I don’t know what his presence is: is it crying during worship music. I believe in him I know he exists. It’s just been almost 6 years of nothing. The last time I really knew it was him that spoke to me was in a dream when I fell asleep crying bc of how lonely i was and asked for a sign- Anything to let me know he’s here. And I dreamt of a huge banner on the Empire State Building: Psalms 4, 28, and 29. That interaction fuels my faith a lot, but I still feel so distant, maybe I’m not trying enough to seek his face. I pray every night and every night I feel the dread of coming to him. I hate this dread, I hate how I can’t pray without feeling so ugly inside. I feel like a poser and a fake. My faith is there and yes I know that whole mustard seed thing but I def need prayer. Maybe this is js text book Christian distance or smth, maybe the clear answer is to read my bible more than js the daily bible app “verse of the day”. Please pray for me, I know how important prayer is. I know he hears and knows my heart. I also feel so emotionally drained, this has affected my studies, relationships and even friendships. I don’t want to get more depressed than I already am and have suffered at this alone far enough.

Hey yall I js applied to be a volunteer for the crisis text line. Can anyone who’s doing it or has done it give me tips on what to expect with this whole process. I’m genuinely completely new! If anyone is thinking about doing it too lmk! We can do it tgth 😓