I got alot of people on my last post on how i got rejected telling me to just love myself. I really don’t think i can. im in therapy and although i just started the intake i still haven’t yet received any advice on how to love myself. i dont see what is to love honestly. they say “you need to stop thinking so negatively about yourself” but the only reason why i do is because of the people in my life caused me to feel this way. from getting rejected and ignored by women, from being mocked by my so called friends and also rejected by my immediate family. this wasn’t just something that happened in the past but its still ongoing. how the fuck can i possibly love myself if the world gives me evidence to hate myself. its driven me to the point where now i hate myself too. what positive traits do i really have? thats a retorical question btw. as i mentioned before im currently in therapy but only have done one session so far, so if anyone says “just go to therapy bro” im not gonna respond.
is it really so wrong to want love in your love in your life? is it really so bad to feel sad when you dont get it? and people wonder why male suicides are more prominent. im just so sick of women hating on me bc of my gender. i know alot of men are terrible and have done terrible things to women, but i know im not like that and not every man is like that. its not that i feel stuck, i am stuck! there’s literally nothing i can do to love myself when theres nothing im good at because all my life ive been torn to shreds for any attempt to better myself. thats what people dont get. if you are so alone and nobody likes you how the fuck can you be happy with yourself? Humans are social creatures. the only way we developed and thrive is with the help of each other. i have been alone all my life and i can tell you it has done me no good. i can lie to myself and force myself to love myself, but i know deep down its just a coping mechanism. thats all you can do is cope when ur in a position like mine.
the only ways i can get any one to give a damn about me is if i pay a shrink, or scream for help. all my life ive tried to be a good person but i just keep getting shit on. lets cut the crap, the only reason why anyone gives love is to receive some back. goodness for its own sake is a myth and thats what i believe based on my life experience. i literally can’t love myself if the whole doesn’t. by now anyone would’ve given me a reason, if i truly had any good in me. the truth is, im a worthless piece of shit and i don’t belong here. i just want to get away from you people so you wont have to put up with me anymore. i wish i didn’t exist.